“We tend to overvalue the things we can measure and undervalue the things we cannot.” – John Hayes
In the coaching world, a topic of conversation I find myself having over and over again is about guys investing way too much too early into a relationship. So for this post I’ll be breaking down an idea I’ve been preaching for quite some time: Relationship Return on Investment (or “Double-R-OI” if that sounds better to you).
Every relationship, and particularly romantic or sexual relationship you have is like a stock on the stock market. If you have $1,000 your plan and objective should be to grow that investment and make it more valuable. You don’t want to go in with no plan, no direction and just toss your money out into the wind? Yet that’s what a lot of people do in their approach to relationship, and guys are super guilty of this with women.
So let’s say you have $1,000, what should you invest in? Well, any half-decent broker will tell you to diversify. Putting all your eggs in one basket is impractical and super risky. If that stock falls flat, all your funds sink with it. Blue Pill men and those suffering from Oneitis do this all the time. They invest everything into one “special” girl right off the bat and then are absolutely devastated and crushed when their investment tanks and she leaves. They’re left emotionally (and sometimes financially) broke. So diversifying is key.
Instead of focusing everything on one girl, it’s best to make small investments with several to see which ones start giving you returns. Put $5 (figurative dollars) into a cute girl you meet in the park, $10 into the hip barista at the coffee shop, and $20 into that HB9 you meet at a lounge. As you make these small and diverse investments, you can invest a little more in to that particular stock if it starts showing you some returns, or if others show no returns or fall flat, you can take a small loss on investment. It’s not a big deal because you have other investments giving you positive returns. Don’t throw away more funds investing in a stock that isn’t going anywhere and certainly don’t invest in a falling stock in an attempt to save it. The Red Pill idea I just laid out is called Spinning Plates.
Assets Vs Liabilities
Every person in your life falls into one of two categories: Assets or Liabilities. Assets are people you trust, people that encourage and inspire you to achieve in life, and people you that are a source of positivity in your life. Liabilities are the opposite. These are people that cause stress, drama, are a constant source of negativity, and detract from your goals and ambitions. Assets should be guarded, protected and treasured while liabilities should be either completely cut from your life or kept in minimized. This can be difficult when it’s family or people you work with, but if they are a liability then you need to protect yourself all the same. Note that these aren’t necessarily judgements on people’s character; there are plenty of tough and non-PC people that are assets and plenty of nice, well meaning people that are liabilities.
When it comes to women this is doubly important, as women that are assets can inspire you to go beyond what you thought capable, while women that are liabilities can literally destroy you life. Take great care in your investing and you’ll discover which categories the women in your life fall into. The Red Pill is a great guide in helping you decipher which is which and to see the true value of an Asset and the danger of a liability. It’s a wise idea to examine your current relationships and see who falls where. Invest in Assets, withdraw from Liabilities.
Hopefully this has been relatable and easily digestible for you. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds but keeping things simple keeps them clear. Hopefully you can use this knowledge to help in your current life’s journey whether it’s new information or a good refresher for you. Go out and BE GREAT.