“If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be in peril.” – Sun Tzu, The Art of War
On my original post The Enemy, Reddit user Auvergnat raised some very good food for thought that I felt required a second post to follow up on and to complete the picture I was driving towards in my original post:
“Good stuff. Glad you developed this into a post.
Too bad it’s missing some discussion on the practical aspects of this fundamental truth, including the fact that:
If a woman rejects you, it’s not because of who you are, it’s because what you are doesn’t fit her current hypergamic needs. You’re not worthless.
If a woman chooses you, it’s not because of who you are, it’s because what you are fits her current needs. You’re not “special”.
If a woman leaves you, it’s not because of who you are, it’s because you no longer fit her needs. Never think the Game is over. Cease to provide what she selected you for, and see how fast she runs away.”
I think these 3 points are very solid practical aspects of what I was driving at. Let’s take a look and further explore these topics:
As I’ve detailed before, women’s approach to love is very pragmatic and varies depending on which part of her hypergamy she is actualizing. Alpha Fucks vs Beta Bucks is the short term summary of the two hypergamic phases…Do you arouse her primal sexual interests or do you fit her desire and need for stability and some type of provisioning? What men often fail to realize or see is that when a woman chooses to engage in a relationship with them, be it a one night stand, fuck buddy, boyfriend, or LTR, the motivation behind this choice is which hypergamic need she is looking to satisfy.
Many Blue Pill men get caught up in the idea that they are some how “special” when they land a girl. What they fail to see is that this “special-ness” has nothing to do with who they are as a person, but is about what they are to her hypergamic needs. Often times many of these Blue Pill men land women that are nearing, at, or past The Wall. At this phase a woman’s hypergamic needs shift to the Beta Bucks side of thing where stability and provisioning of some sort are top priority.
On the flip side, when guys get with girls during the Alpha Fucks phase of hypergamy, Blue Pill guys see this in a similar light: That this attention and affection is based on who he is and not what he is. It’s not so much that there is something inherently special about a man, but it’s more based on how this man fits a particular need and thus her selection of him satisfies that need. That’s not to say that some men don’t possess exceptional or rare qualities that women don’t appreciate. But those things act more as a bonus as opposed to the core factor.
Now I do want to stress that this is not to discredit women or relationships or devalue the interactions men and women have in them. What I am doing is outlining the mechanisms behind these interactions so you can understand the full picture. That is the core of The Red Pill: It’s not about how bad, evil, or opportunistic women are. It’s about better understanding the complete picture of their motivations and nature so can see what is happening the behind the scenes and understand the why of it all.
Looking at another aspect of this subject, when a woman rejects a man, the root causes can be traced back to her hypergamic needs. Rejection can feel very personal and elicit feelings of low worth or value, but this rejection should be seen for what it is: It’s what you are and not who you are. If a woman rejects you it means you do not meet her current hypergamic needs. It’s not that you’re worthless, it’s that you have no use for her present hypergamic priority. So if a young, brash Alpha guy is attempting to get the attention and affection of a woman that is very much seeking to satisfy her Beta Bucks phase of hypergamy, he faces a very high probability of rejection because what he is does not line up with what she needs at the moment. It’s not a reflection of his value, it’s a reflection of her priorities. Now don’t take this to an extreme and think that if you approach a girl looking like a homeless subway hermit, it’s due to hypergamy. She’s rejecting you in that sense because you look like a creep and clearly don’t same to have any care about yourself.
I’ve faced this a lot in my experiences with older women, who will often use my age and the fact that I am younger to justify that rejection. I once was with a friend, we both are in our early thirties and we met these two women in their mid forties. I wound up having a conversation and flirting with one of the girls, she was Irish, very sassy and looked very good for her age. I was running my game and there was very clear sexual tension between the two of us. At one point when I was making a flirtatious advance, she pulled back a little said “You’re too young for me…But that doesn’t mean that I won’t be thinking of you later tonight.” I leaned in and in response said “You don’t have to think.” Later that night I wound up taking her back to her place and having some fun. However, after that night when I tried to see about hanging again, she gave me excuses of being busy and being unavailable, which was a rejection of my advances. For me the take away from this experience was that while yes, for one night we had some fun, she rejected me because I was “too young” which translates too I was not older and more established to be able to provide her with the level of stability and provisioning required. So while one side of her hypergamy was interested in the Alpha Fucks side of the coin, her top priority was still the Beta Bucks side, which led to her ultimately rejecting me because I did not meet her tops needs. This was in no way a reflection on my worth, it was a reflection of where her priorities are.
The last point this bring up is when a woman ejects herself from a relationship or decides to leave. This occurs when you were satisfying a need but no longer continue to satisfy that need. A trap many men fall into is that that once they’ve “secured” a girl via LTR or marriage, that they can stop running Game and just coast. But this always backfires because women are pragmatic and treat love conditionally. If the conditions change, then so will her affections. That is why Game is essential to be practicing 24/7, especially in an LTR and and marriage. If her hypergamic needs are meet as is well. But once those needs stop being met, that’s when the trouble starts and she starts to reach for the ejection button.
In summary, it is paramount that you know your enemy for the future battles you will eventually face. For men, it’s the priorities of a woman’s hypergamic nature that you need to understand. If a woman accepts you, it’s not due to how inherently special you are, it’s about what you are and how that is able to satisfy her hypergamic needs. If she rejects you, it’s not that you are a worthless low value person, it’s that what you are does not line up with and satisfy her hypergamic needs. And if she is in a relationship with you and leaves you, it’s because her hypergamic needs that where being met are no longer being satisfied. Now that you know what mechanisms are working in the background, you now have the knowledge to maximize your interactions with women. Enjoy them for the wonderful experiences they can be, but also see the situation with open eyes.