Sibling Rivalry

sibling rivalry

“We must love one another, yes, yes, that’s all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other. It may be the very recognition of all men as our brothers that accounts for the sibling rivalry, and even enmity, we have toward so many of them.” – Peter De Vries

For this post I wanted to explore a topic that I have not seen much on and that I’ve been dwelling on for a while. I wanted to touch on the Red Pill mindset and how that affects family relationships, specifically between siblings. For those of you that are only children, this topic may not necessarily echo any sentiment from personal experience, but it can potentially give some insights into your close friendships or give you some perspective into your friends that do have siblings. Being Red Pill is something that has a ripple effect in your life, and within the family dynamic it’s seen on a magnified scale.

Between Brothers

As young boys, siblings provide your first experience and foray into manhood. It’s a training ground for the battle you’ll face later on in life, as well as a learning experience to teach about strong bonds, loyalty and social interaction. In the ideal scenario this would be fostered and guided along by the parents, though this is not always the case. Having come from a very Blue Pill background most of my experiences I would consider fairly normal and typical. My siblings and I would scuffle, go on adventures and shared many interests together growing up. Our dad was well meaning but very Blue Pill, which would come to haunt him and us as we got older, but that’s an entirely different topic. For now I’m focusing on the relationship between brothers.

One by product of the Blue Pill mindset is that it gives you the idea that you always need to make others happy, even at your own expense, and this comes into play very largely with siblings. There have been times where I have suppressed frustration, canceled dates, and even given entire paychecks to my siblings, out of a sense of family duty. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help out your family when they need it, but under the Blue Pill guise I was missing a critical piece: Family is a two-way street, and sacrifice and loyalty has to be earned, not just taken for granted. This lesson is a hard one to see, especially in a “family first” environment, with a few Red Pill tweaks that lesson would have been realized much sooner.

Once I became Red Pill aware, not only did my perspective on the world change with women, it changed with my family relationships as well. One of the more shocking correlations I discovered from the Red Pill was that I was in fact in a BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) type of relationship with one of my brothers and that I needed to keep my personal Frame in check in order to get out of it. I also discovered that by focusing more on developing myself, the less stress of others I carried with me, especially in my family life. As we’ve gotten older my siblings and I have gotten more distant, which is unfortunate. Part of it is due to life transitions and being busier with our own lives. Other parts of it are due to seeing the Red Pill but not being able to express the ideas without a Blue Pill centered rejection response. The Red Pill is liberating and frustrating at the same time. If you think being Red Pill aware can be isolating and frustrating with your friends, imagine how it is with siblings that you’ve grown up with. This creates an unspoken tension between brothers, as the clash of Blue Pill and Red Pill plays out on a much more intimate scale. Things are never the same, and in many regards there’s that feeling of loss of innocence. The Red Pill is already a very tough pill to swallow, and having family involved can make it even tougher as now blood brothers suddenly become more like spies and saboteurs.

For any fathers that read this, I relay this experience as someone who’s seen it from the ground up. Fostering a healthy Red Pill awareness in young siblings is critical, not only for their development as men, but for how they will relate to each other as they grow older. The search for brotherhood is something ingrained in men, we seek it as we grow and ideally if we have biological brothers we could get it there. But one way or another, we seek it, even if that means going outside the blood family that we have.

Also, it’s pivotal that you keep your Frame in check, because you are the male example in which your sons will mold themselves upon. Any strength you have they will imitate, any habits you have they will pick up on and absorb. If your presence is not fully there, it will show and manifest later on in life. You are shaping young lives, so always look at the example that you set.

For any mothers that may read this, it’s important to take a step back and let your boys be boys. Too often boys are viewed as “the problem gender” and masculinity is viewed as a defect that needs correcting. You will not fully understand the masculine experience, which is is fine, because we as men will never fully understand the feminine experience, but suffice to say trying to raise sons in the same manner as daughters handicaps them when they enter the world. Also, there’s nothing wrong with embracing your femininity. For boys growing up, your example becomes the template they have for when they go out into the world. So if as a mother you’re in a position where you’re constantly shooting the father down or pushing him around, then your sons will come to expect that for themselves in their interactions with women.

Between Brothers And Sisters

Red Pill awareness is critical for brothers and is absolutely essential for brothers with sisters. The reason for this is that sister provide a baseline impression for how boys will interact with women as they get older and go out into the world. Girls from a young age learn and adapt their skill sets for life at a rapid pace, which means that growing up, boys will be subjected to every weapon that girls have at their disposal. That means shit testing and emotional manipulation will occur. This is how boys are impressionable and it’s paramount to ask what kind of impression will be made? Will they be playing second fiddle and grow up being pushed around by the females in his life? Or will there be a healthy balance of respect and independence fostered that will allow young men to stand on their feet?

I’m grateful for the fact that I’ve had brothers and sisters so I can see how these dynamics are influenced and fostered growing up. As a brother, Red Pill awareness has helped me keep my Frame in check with my sisters while helping to make my interactions with them better. It’s a wild realization when you realize that even your own sister, and yes, your mother are just as hyergamous and will shit test you like all other women will. But being able to go in eyes open and know how to handle that makes every interaction better. Being Red Pill aware has helped make me a better brother to give a male example for my sisters, as well as help with providing better (if not very subtle) insight into their own relationships they have.

Fathers, if you have daughters, then just like with sons, the example you set will set the expectation for the men in her life. If you’re a pushover or lack a solid foundation of Frame, especially in interactions with the mother of your children, then guess what, your daughters are going to pick up on this and absorb it. We all know good and well about girls with daddy issues, and it’s never a path you want to explore first hand.Your example sets your daughter’s expectation for her future interactions with the men in her life. What kind of men will she keep company with? Strong, independent men that can take care of business? Or timid, weak willed men that will be stepping stools under her thumb? Your example will have a significant impact.

For mothers, I would again remind you that your example is what will make the impression and set the expectation. So if you set a precedent for your daughters that instills in them a sense that they need to always “be the man” in the relationship, that will have a significant impact on how they approach future relationships. There’s nothing wrong with raising strong minded, independent women who can handle them selves, in fact that’s the ideal goal as society needs more women like that. But if they are brought up that way believing that’s only achievable at the expense of men, then there’s an imbalance.

Final Thoughts

I may do another post later detailing Red Pill parenting from the perspective of growing up Blue Pill and what might be done differently, but for this post I wanted to focus more on sibling dynamics. My hope is that if you have siblings and have gone through similar experiences on your own Red Pill journey this can provide some insight or clarity. Inter-gender dynamics impact every personal relationship a person has, and more often than not, the Red Pill really hits home.

Siblings

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