“I’m in lesbians with you” – Scott Pilgrim, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
When you have many experiences with women, you will get some interesting situations and have some interesting conversations. You’ll also get shit tested in some interesting and unique ways and this story is about one of the most interesting shit tests I have ever received.
I was at an alumni event at my old college when I had met this 23 year old Latina. She’s a very cute, petite girl with a great figure and sexy eyes. I had given her my business card when we met since the setting was more professional at the event. She texted me later that night saying it was great to meet me. A week later I hit her up about hanging out, to which she responded with:
“Wait, are you asking me out? I’m pretty dense about that kinda of stuff”
My response was “I didn’t realize “hangout” was such a loaded term.”
I can already get a sense that this girl might be the the type to shit test a lot, so I decided to play it very casual and ambiguous to see where this would go. After a few other texts, we setup a time to meet up for hang out a few days later. Now since this was a first encounter and based on the texting there seemed like a lot of shit testing was going to be involved, I decided it would be best to meet on the early side, around 7 pm so that way I could go over for a Netflix and chill session after with other girl I’ve hooked up with before that lives in the area around 9:30.
I told the Latina to met up at a lounge I like and I get there about 2 minutes before her. We get seated at a table in a good spot in the lounge, which lets us see out onto the street and makes for great people watching. We exchange a little small talk about how her week went and then about 3 minutes into the conversation I get hit with a shit test that’s way out of left field. She perks up, looks me directly in the eye and says:
“Just so you know, I’m a lesbian.”
Straight out of left field. No warning, just right into it. I knew this was a pivotal shit test moment, where right off the bat I was being thrown towards the fire to see if I would flinch. In my head I laughed a bit because based on all the back and forth that led to this meeting, I wasn’t buying it at all. I also had not been hit with this exact shit test out of the blue before either, which was part entertaining and part exciting as it represented a new challenge. Without skipping a beat I casually replied:
She looked a bit surprised at my response. I delivered my response while maintaining my relaxed yet commanding posture, and the tone of my voice was casual. Then I followed up with: “I love me some lesbians.”
She paused for a minute, as her hamster tried to process my responses. She then went on a little bit about her family and how she’s never had a boyfriend. The conversation continued with her doing 90% of the conversation, and I could tell based on how I handled the shit test, she was now trying to qualify herself to me. We where talking for another 10 or so minutes when she asked me a question:
“What are you doing after this?”
I believe honesty is the best armor you can have, it keeps you free and also can be a great way to show off an IDGAF attitude when used strategically. Since I had been hit with big shit test out of left field, I decided to throw out one of my own, to see how she reacted to it:
“I’m going to see another girl.”
She had this completely shocked look on her face and instantly asked “What do you mean?”
I replied, “It’ll probably be a Netflix and chill situation. We have a thing that when I see her I’m with her, but when I don’t, I’m not.” I could see the hamster going into overdrive in her head as she was contemplating this news I had relayed. I just sat comfortably while holding eye contact and smirking. My posture was saying “This is the deal, are you with it or not?” She then asked me a few questions about my past relationships, to which I replied that I like to keep things very open so I can experience as many people as possible. She continued on about her thoughts on relationships as we finished our drinks.
About 20 minutes later we wrapped up at the lounge and I took for for a stroll around the down town area. Part of the stroll included a stop at an adult shop. While we were in there she asked me if I had a “Christian Grey Room,” to which I replied “Every room I enter is a Christian Grey room.” I could see a little twinkle in her eye as her hamster began spinning on the implications of what I had said.
After the sex shop I took her to the outside patio of a cigar lounge and we sat there for a bit, discussing random things. We began making out for a bit and then I checked the time. It was 9:15 so it was time to go see my Netflix and chill girl. We said our goodbyes and and she said that we should hang again, which I causally agreed would be cool. That was the start of a very fun situation, in which a week later I’d discover she was a squirter in the back of my car, as well as how to utilize Frame to keep things as casual hook ups for the past 7 months now.
1. Women will shit test you all the time and in ways you’ll never expect. Always be on your top game and always be ready. You never know exactly how these test will come, but they are coming. Usually the more insecure the girl, the more shit tests you will face. Know who you’re dealing with so you have can anticipate what you’ll have to deal with.
2. Hold Frame. I’ve said it many times before, but Frame is absolutely critical. Without it, I would have been crucified by her shit test. But with it, I was able to work the situation to my advantage.
3. Honesty will set you free. Using strategic honesty, you can be free to be yourself while seeing if she’s down to enter your world and come along for the ride, or if she will fight you tooth and nail every step of the way. By flat out telling this Latina that I was seeing another girl after her, I was free to let her know that I have options and if she is on board with entering my world she’s welcome, if not, she can go her own way and I’ll be fine. It also gives me the freedom to see multiple people without having to feel like I’m sneaking around behind everyone’s back because I’m out in the open with what the situation is. Obviously you don’t need to blab the full truth of your family life or other things, but being honest about what you want and who you are at the right times will work in your favor far more than trying to hide it.
4. Use your own shit tests. For guys we typically call this screening, but don’t be afraid to use some shit tests of your own. This does 2 things. 1) It flips the script and makes YOU the prize, not the guy chasing after her affections. 2) This is a way to qualify how well into your Frame she’ll come into and well as give you better insight into who she is as person. Is she a chill, go with the flow type? Or she the time that has a snarky negative comment about everything? Just as girls use shit tests to expose if a guy is Alpha or not, you need to use shit tests to see if any girl you are with is the type of girl you want to be with.
5. Work the hamster. A girl’s imagination is the most powerful thing you can play with and utilize. Work it often and work it well. Let her imagination take her to a conclusion you lead her to. To many times guys are just matter-o-factly about things which leaves no room for imagination. Do you want to drive a girl wild with passion and desire? Do you want her to get wet at the thought of a spontaneous encounter of intimacy between you two? Then learn how to use innuendo, flirting, and ambiguity to get her imagination working. If you don’t, you’ll find the girls you go with will be dryer than the Sahara desert during a drought. In this example, I used these things to keep her hamster constantly going so that by the time our 2nd encounter happened, we where going at it in the back of my car in an alleyway close to her house.
If I’ve given you some good takeaways you can use while entertaining you, then my goal is complete. Go out there and conquer the world friends.