“We shouldn’t be cock-blocking McLovin, we should be guiding his cock.” – Officer Michaels, Superbad
No matter how solid your game is or experienced you become, you’re going to run into cockblocks. Sometimes they are in the form of a well-meaning friend, a hostile person, or a specific scenario. This story I’m going to share with you is one about a situational cockblock, how to play it and what the takeaways are.
I was at a local hot spot that my good friend and me frequent a lot. The place has great food, great drinks, and plenty of talent to boot. I know all of the staff at the venue, from the general manager to the bouncers, the bartenders to the hostesses. My friend and I get in, do some flirting with the hostesses and then get settled. We actually have a few other friends there, much to our delightful surprise. We grab some beverages and are involved in a conversation around Burning Man (my one friend just came back from it that day), when I see this older woman (about 45+) sitting at the bar close by where I am by herself. Though she’s older, she looks really good, you couldn’t tell that she was older from afar, only by getting closer could I tell. I sit in the seat next to her as she’s looking over the drink menu and I tell her if she needs a suggestion I have a few go-to recommendations. She responds pleasantly with nice southern accent and we hit it off.
We start talking and I find out she’s visiting from New Orleans for the weekend. We flirt playfully back and forth and from our conversation she drops hints that she’s been a bit of a wild child back in her day. My other friends that where close by saw the situation was looking prime and was giving me nods of approval. With a this situation looking like I’ll be leaving the venue shortly, I’m feeling great and excited to see just what comes of it.
After about 15 minutes of conversation and heavy flirting, I finally ask why she’s visiting this particular place. She responds with a bit of a bombshell:
“My daughter works here.”
Time seemed to freeze for a quick second, because I am very tight with the staff, they are like my night life family, so I quickly processed the implications of my present situation. While that was happening over the course of 5 milliseconds, her saying that phrase must have put something out in the universe because sure enough, 1 minute later 2 of the hostesses come over (one was the daughter, who is very hot herself). The daughter greats her mom and says she wanted to check in on her to make sure she was good. This is one of those situations where I played it super cool on the outside, but on the inside I was laughing at myself and also thinking about how both of them would be fun to experience, but the internal laughter was far greater.
The daughter and other hostess leave and then 2 minutes later one of the bouncers comes over to “check in on mom.” At this point I knew getting the lay would not be worth the complications it would cause for me at the venue, which has provided for me many times, and these “check ins” continued from the staff over the next 10 minutes. Seeing that I was dealing with a situational cockblock, I switched my mindset from flirt mode into friend mode, and brought in with my larger group of friends.
We had a fun time exchanging crazy stories and discussing the best kinds of drinks. At midnight, the daughter’s shift ended and so she left with her mom, though the mom made it very clear she was “very glad to meet me” and my friends where asking me why I was not leaving with her. I gave them the full story and we all had a great laugh, to which my one friend commented that “I don’t come here that often so I’d be more than happy to play daddy. We had another great laugh and then this brunette girl caught and her friend caught my attention. I went over to them and struck up a quick conversation, which lead to them leaving with my friend and me to hang at an after hours cafe.
4. It’s not you, it’s the situation. The key is realizing that the situation is a cockblock, as in this example. See the situation for what it is and that will inform your next move…
3. Just because you can get it, doesn’t mean you always should. While it was clear that with a little work, I could overcome the situational cockblock and get the notch, what wold be the true cost of that notch? I get the royal treatment at this venue night after night, and so getting this notch could cause a bit of a disruption in that. It’s not worth it, especially considering the next takeaway…
2. Always keep the abundance mentality. Yes, there was a slam dunk in front of me, but by keeping the abundance mentality and not seeing this 1 girl as my only shot for sex that night, I was able to have a great time, keep things sold with the venue staff and then meet two other girls shortly after.
1. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Situational cockblocks suck, but they are certainly learning experiences that you can look back and laugh on, sometimes laugh at in the moment. It’s all in good fun.
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