The Catfish Maneuver

Bulet Dodge

“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” – Edgar Allan Poe

We all have our own approaches styles, and some are more high risk than others. But sometimes one man’s folly creates an opportunity for another man. This post is about an experience I recently had that involved a creepy opening and a little improv that led to an entertaining out come.

I was having dinner at a restaurant I frequent with a few friends. Being the observant group we are, we noticed a table of 3 very attractive girls close to the bar. They looked to be about 22, but they where in high spirits on what appeared to be a girls night. As one of them walked to the bathroom, they had to pass by our table and so I began to figure out the best way to make the approach. Since there was a table of 3, making the cold approach was not ideal, but if I could “plant the seed” and then harvest it later, that would make my cold approach much warmer.

When I spotted the girl returning from the bathroom, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and as soon as I made eye contact with her I pointed and said “I know you from somewhere…” She looked at me trying to figure out who I was and responded with “I not sure I do.” I responded by stating “I’m pretty sure I do…” and since she looked to me like a Marie, I said “Marie?” She looked a little surprised and said “That’s my middle name…” to which I knew the seed had been planted, so I said “I’m not sure where I know you from because I never forget a face. This is going to haunt me. I’m going to hit the bathroom but I’ll be over in a bit to get this figured out.” She shook her head in agreement and went to her table to join her friends while I went to the bathroom.

I returned from the bathroom and stopped by my table to check in with my friends, and I noticed an older guy who was dressed like a rock star; the dark sunglasses…indoors…at night, faded leather jacket, many rings on his fingers and torn skinny jeans. He was making his way out of the restaurant and I told my friends that I was going to go harvest the seed i just planted. I made my way over to the bar, since my friend was working as the lead bartender and he was stationed right in front of the girls table. I began chatting him up to see how everything was with him, then I pointed out the table of girls behind me and told him he should come say hi in about 5 minutes so I could introduce them to him. He asked me if I knew them and I said “Not yet, but I’m about to,” and I walked up to the girls.

The girl I was talking to initially, we’ll call her Jessica Marie, was sitting in the middle, which made it easy for me to launch right into it. “Ok,” I said. “We need to figure this out…” “Yes we do,” she replied, and then I explained to her friends that I knew Jessica from somewhere but couldn’t place my finger on where. After a quick convo, I found out that she’s from about 40 minutes from where I grew up and still lives there. She was out for a girls night with her two friends, who are also from the same area. As I was walking up to them, I noticed they had been looking at a napkin right before I arrived so I asked them about it. “OH MY GOD!” Jessica exclaimed as she pushed the napkin forward. “This totally creepy guy came and left this at our table.” I took a look at the napkin and this is what it read:

“Your features are beautiful. The could have been crafted by Peter Carl Faberge. He created 57 Russian Imperial Easter Eggs for Tsar Nicholas II and Alexandra of the Romanov Dynasty.

(over) [- yes, this was instructions to flip the napkin over]

What about dinner

1. Polo Lounge Beverly Hills Hotel

2. SoHo Sunset Blvd or Malibu

3. Mastro’s

4. Your choice

I am a rock star

*phone number*
Malibu”

“Wow,” I said. This was one of those moves that only goes 1 of 2 ways: Decent, or very wrong. It went very wrong in this case. “I can’t believe how creepy that guy was” One of Jessica’s friends said. “So creepy!” said the other one. Seizing the opportunity, I came up with an idea on the spot. “Well, this guy may need to be taught a lesson,” I said. So I grabbed the napkin, input the number in my phone and then texted “Malibu?”

All three girls looked at me with the “I-can’t-believe-you-just-did-that” face to which I replied, “Now we’re going to have some fun.” While we awaited a response, I kept the conversation with the girls going and then my bartender friend popped over. I quickly introduced him and told the girls he’s the guy they need to see for top quality beverages. My bartender friend then said he was going to make a special off menu cocktail for the table, when suddenly my phone beeped with a text. The rock star had responded with “Who’s this?” So with the girls eagerly looking over my shoulder I replied “You wrote me a note on a napkin and you forgot who I am?”

A fresh round of drinks from my bartender friend arrived and we had a solid cheers as we were enjoying ourselves and catfishing a creeper. After a few minutes the rock star responded with “Of course I do. You’re beautiful.” As a Red Pill aware guy,  this was a bit painful as this guy’s approach method reeked of Betaness. Too keep things from getting too real, I texted “#1” followed by “I’ll let you know my schedule,” so I could continue focusing on the girls.

After our little game of catfish Jessica’s friends where expressing that they where tired and ready to head home. I let them pay their tab proceeded to grab Jessica’s number and set up a date for the following week. I then returned to my table with my friends to continue our night of merriment.

As for the rock star? Well, I ghosted him after that night to which he recently texted me “You’re a pretty girl but I’m surrounded by beautiful girls all the time. Being a rock star has its advantages. You’ve taken too long to respond to my invitation for dinner. Something I am very much unaccustomed to therefore I am canceling my invitation to you forthwith, which means now! I wish you the best of luck with your future.”

Best of luck with your future as well, good sir.

Takeaways

4. Approach in person, not on napkins. The point of this post is not to humiliate or poke fun of the rock star, but it is to illustrate the difference in approach styles. Actually facing a girl and talking to her as apposed to writing a sonnet about her beauty and pedestalizing her off the bat produced night and day results. One method resulted in a phone number and date, the other in being viewed as a creep.

3. Always be ready to improvise. Once I discovered the napkin, it became clear that there was an instant in. By turning the creepy guy into a game, I was able to quickly bond and get in with the girls, as well as providing an entertaining spin to previously uncomfortable moment.

2. Always befriend the bar tender. This particular restaurant I enjoy, but they do have a full bar and I made sure a while back to get to know the bar tender. In this case it paid off in spades as I was seen just chatting the bartender up like an old friend, then introducing him to the group, and then he made a specialty off menu item for the table. This gave me instant status and venue cred with the girls, further establishing me as a high value guy and not a creeper.

1. Don’t use notes on napkins. I could have been a sleaze and taken advantage of this guy or strung him along. But instead I left it be and took note of his reaction. His farewell address shows that he’s miffed about the situation but is trying to tell me how much of a player he is. A real playboy doesn’t need to convince people with his words, he just lives it. I do hope this rock star changes his approach or perhaps uses a different type of game elsewhere, because if you leave your phone number on a napkin at a table, you never know who you might be talking to.

Catfishing

 

 

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