The Alpha Wingman

This guy

“You can be my wingman anytime” – Ice Man, Top Gun

Sometimes being an Alpha in a situation is not about using your Frame for your own benefit, but sometimes it’s about using it to help others. This post covers just such a situation that happened recently on a night out with a friend.

Field Report

I was hosting a friend of mine from out of town. He’s a young guy, in his mid twenties and is usually more of the quite and shy type at first, but opens up more once he’s comfortable in a situation. I decide to take him out for a Saturday night of fun and we go to this restaurant and lounge that I frequent in a hip and busy part of town. I like the place because it has a great atmosphere and energy, great food, great drinks, and is close to a lot of other places. It’s also frequented by many beautiful and diverse women, which makes it the prime location for a proper night out.

We get to the venue and go inside for a round of drinks. Since I frequent this place, all of the staff knows me, from the General Manager to the bar-backs, so I’m being greeted and am introducing my friend to them. After hanging out for about 30 minutes, I spot a pair of girls sitting at the end of the bar. One is blonde, with a curvy figure, and the other is a redhead with bright blue eyes and a petite figure. Both girls look to be in their mid thirties, but I know my friend has a thing for older women. I point out the redhead, which is the type of girl he usually goes for and said “I think I found someone you should go meet.” My buddy responded by saying “I’m not sure what the move is,” and so at this point I knew that I would need to take command of the situation.

“Follow my lead,” I told him, as I walked over to the girls. As I was making my way over, someone bumped me so my drink spilled a little onto my hand, so when I got up to the girls I asked if they could pass me a napkin since they where sitting next to them.

“That you for that act of bar-decency,” I said. “The bar is a lawless place and most of the time people just act insane.” Both girls laughed and then I quickly introduced myself and my friend to them. “So what brings you guys out tonight?” I inquired. “Well, we’re out to celebrate my cousin’s birthday,” said the blonde as she pointed to the redhead. “Well happiest of birthdays to you!” I said to the redhead as I gave her an enthusiastic high-five. “How did you guys know to come here?” I asked. “Where were at another bar, but there where no guys so we had heard of this place and came here.”

From there I knew we had a golden scenario. A birthday, which is a reason to celebrate. Check. They had come to this venue specially for guys. Double check. All that was left was to take the reins of the situation.

“You ladies came to the right place,” I said. “We are going to ensure that you have a proper birthday celebration.” I raised my glass and all four of us toasted to the birthday girl. We had some small talk, about what we all did and it urns out the blonde works for a Hollywood agency and the redhead is a college professor. As it turns out, they both had recently moved into the this particular area of town and they were looking to explore it more. They liked the current venue because the redhead leaved about a mile away from it. I asked them if they had been to this other lounge that is close by that I frequent, to which they replied they had hear good things but never had been. “Finish up those drinks, we’re moving out!” I said as I finished my beverage and then called for my tab.

The 2 girls, my friend and myself all made our together to the lounge I had mentioned, and I texted the General Manager there who is a buddy of min that I was en route. I got a “Fo sho playa” response back from the GM and told the ladies that they where going to like this spot a lot. This lounge is a bit of hot spot and sure enough, there was a large line out front as we arrived. I lead the group right up to the front and gave the door guy I know a solid handshake and then a hug to the girl that helps run the door as well. We then strolled right past the line and proceeded to the lounge area. As soon as we got in my buddy who is the GM greeted me and said “It’s a packed night but we have a table set aside for you. Enjoy my man.” The Assistant GM then lead us through the sea of people to a table and we got situated with myself next to the blond facing my friend and the redhead on the other side.

“What just happened?” The redhead asked. “We’re celebrating your birthday, so we are going to do it properly,” I told her. We then ordered some drinks and I made the promise that we would find birthday cake for the birthday girl to ensure the night was flawless. Our drinks arrived and my friend worked his game on the redhead as they got a little more cozy and I chatted up the blonde. After about 15 minutes, I then told the blonde that she should checkout the rest of the lounge and I took her on a tour of the space to give my friend and the redhead some 1 on 1 time.

After the tour of the of the lounge, which deliberately took 20 minutes, we rejoined the table. Once it hit 1 am, I told the group “Time for a field trip,” so we paid our tab then I took us all to a convenience store to look for some type of cake to act as a birthday cake. Since no cake could be found, we grabbed a bunch of peanut butter M&M’s, which is the birthday girl’s favorite candy. I also grabbed a bottle of wine and some matches. I paid for all of the item and then as we walked out of the store I turned to the redhead.

“So we’re going back to your place to continue the celebrations since it’s around the corner? My place is about 20 minutes from here.” She paused for a minute and then said “Ok! I wasn’t planning to have folks over, so I will need to tidy up for a quick minute before anyone comes in.” I smiled and said “Whatever the birthday girl desires.” We made our way to her place, which only took 5 minutes, and then both girls went upstairs to her place to tidy it up. My friend then said “Man, thank you for wingmanning, this has been great!” I turned to him and said “Ok this is how it’s going to go down. We’re going to head up there, have some wine and celebrate for about 30 minutes. Then people are going to get tired, at which point I will take the blonde back to her place and you’ll be good to go.” My friend nodded his head excitedly, and after a few more minutes the girls came back down to let us know we could head in.

We all got up stairs to continue the birthday theme of the evening by finding a few leftover candles and lighting them with the matches I had picked up. We all held glasses of wine and some peanut butter M&M’s while we sang Happy Birthday to the redhead. We then paired off and got settled on the couches and began discussing random topics, from different us cities to movies. Sure enough, after about 1 glass of wine and 30 minutes, the blonde said “I’m starting to get sleepy.” I responded by saying, “Same here, it is pretty late.” I then stood up and said, “We’ll I think I am going to head off,” I then turned to the blonde. “You’re an awesome amount of fun, I’ll give you a lift back to your place so you don’t have to call an Uber.” “Are you sure?” She asked. “Not a big deal,” I replied. “Plus I live in that direction anyway and can hop the freeway back home.” “Ok,” the blonde replied. The redhead then looked at me and asked “What about him?” as she looked at my friend. “No worries,” I said, “I’ll give you to some time. I’ll come back and pick him up after I make sure your friend gets home safely.” Of course, what I was thinking was “I’ll come back and pick him up tomorrow morning,” and I proceeded to say goodbye to the redhead and was quickly followed by the blonde.

The blonde and I then left the redhead and my friend and we proceeded to drive to her place on the other side of town. We got to her street and there was no where to park, so I threw on my hazard lights and prepared to say goodbye to the blonde. The blonde then looked at me and said “I should text my cousin so she knows I got back safe.” Knowing this might cause a potential cock-block, as it might imply that I would be en route back to pick up my friend, responded by leaning in close and then making out with the blonde. After making out  and playing with her large breast for a few minutes, I pulled back and said “Sucks there is no parking.” The blonde gave me a naughty look and said, “You can come inside next time.” Sure enough, a week later I would in every sense of the phrase. But that night, she returned home and I jetted back to my pad to get some much earned sleep. The following day I texted my buddy in the morning and picked him up from the redheads place.

This story is a bit of a longer one, but it is full of some key tips and ideas for you to take away.

Takeaways

6. Having venues locked down is a huge plus. Nothing can kill your momentum faster than dealing with hangups at venues, be it trying to get in or trying to grab drinks and find a place to be comfortable. Having a venue that you have locked down not only makes logistics silky smooth but it also enforces your Frame as a high value individual. Like in this example, having the staff know me at the first venue gave me social proof and boosted my status. Then, moving to the next venue, that status and Frame were further reinforced by bypassing the line and then getting a table instantly in a busy place. This also had the added effect of making the transitional logistics smooth and easy, which makes the impression of status high and well as keeps the momentum building and going, rather than hitting a wall.

 

5. Logistics are half the battle. When I am out and am suggesting other places to checkout, I ensure that they are logistically easy and close to each other. a long travel time can kill your momentum. Doing recon before and during your night is key. Since I frequent the area, I have great knowledge of all venues and their relative proximity to each other. Also, when it came up during the conversation that the redhead lived very close to where we were, that made her place the ideal go-to stop to continue the night once the bars closed.

 

4. Frame is a powerful tool. In this particular night, I used Frame to be the best wingman I could be. From the initial approach to taking the group from one lounge to the other, then to a convenience store and then back to one of the girl’s houses, that was only made possible because I defined and held the Frame. I used the theme statement of “It’s your birthday, we’re going to celebrate it properly” as the base that Frame operated from and it made for an adventure that everyone else was more than happy to be a part of.

3. Don’t ask. Subtly command. Part of Frame and game is learning to subtly give commands and not go about it by asking in a Beta way. What I mean by this is when I said “Finish up those drinks, we’re moving out!” I was giving the command of “finish your drinks, we are going to relocate to another venue,” rather than asking “Hey do you guys want to go see this other place?” By taking command of the situation I was able to hold Frame and steer the direction of the night. Other cases of this from that night were when I said “Time for a field trip,” and then leading the group to a convenience store, and then once we where done at the store saying to the Redhead “So we’re going back to your place to continue the celebrations since it’s around the corner?” I was dictating how the night was going to go, and then last example of that was near the end when we were hanging at the redhead’s place and I stated to the blonde “You’re an awesome amount of fun, I’ll give you a lift back to your place so you don’t have to call an Uber.” I was telling her not to call an Uber, I will be taking her home. Now there is a fine line, you don’t have to be an asshole in a commanding way, and sometimes you’ll get some push back to subtle commands. That’s fine and comes with the territory. NEVER FORCE ANYONE TO DO SOMETHING THEY DON”T WANT TO DO. I know most of you reading this already know that, but for those of you that might miss my meaning, I am not advocating forcing people into situations without their consent. Commands establish reinforce your Frame in an authentic way and is a great way to test how well people fall into it.

2. Know how to follow the lead. Nothing is more frustrating that doing a lot of setup to get the baton to the next runner and then to have them drop it half a second into you trying to pass it on. My friend did an excellent job of following my lead and playing off of me, so the combination was extremely effective. You can be Alpha and have Frame by following the lead of another person’s strong Frame. This can help establish your own Frame with a particular person or group and makes for an effective 1 – 2 punch. If you’re rolling out with a wingman and you guys can’t play off each other or follow each other’s leads as needed, you success rate is going to plummet, so make sure you both can either take the lead or follow the lead.

1. Have fun. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the outcome that we forget to take a step back and just enjoy the ride. One of the best highlights of the night for me was being able to have a fun time while helping a friend run his game on a girl he was attracted to. But all of us had a really fun time as we took the theme of “proper birthday celebrations” and ran with it. From the first venue to the second then the convenience store and then finally at the redhead’s house, the entire night was a fun time we all participated in. If you focus on having fun, then whether your get laid or not at the end of the night you’ll have a great time regardless. And as a bonus, having that attitude usually gets you laid more.

The More You Know

Survival of the Fittest

muhammad-ali-cassius-clay-sonny-listen-neil-leifer.jpg

“You realize that we’re the only species that protects the weak?” – Bill Burr

For this post I’m addressing a topic that on the subject of something I find critically important: Personal Accountability. It seems as we become more an more progressive, we stay away from a core principal of life, which is survival of the fittest to “subduing the fit to ensure the weak survive.” This post is more of a pep talk, so please use it for a reminder or motivation go out and live your life to the fullest. Here’s my take on some universal truths and some motivational lines from pop culture to help relate them:

1. Life is not fair. Plan and simple, yet this truth is something we as a society continuously refuse to except and instead attempt to bring the successful down.  Everyone is dealt different cards in life and it’s all matter of how you play them. I know people with every advantage going for them and can’t seem to stay afloat, and I know people from nothing that have built sand achieved greatness. And I’ve seen people with every advantage and they use them brilliantly to expand themselves. Life isn’t fair…and it’s not fair for to everyone, which actually makes it fair.

As our society becomes more feminized, we’ve shifted our focus to protecting the feeling of everyone. Unfortunately a harsh truth is life does not care about your feeling and neither do results. Sports is one of the few places where this truth is allowed to shine, in that there is a winner and a loser, a champion and then everyone else. The idea that we all get trophies for participation sets a false expectation, because in life you may try your best and still fail or come up short. That is how life works. It’s better to fail and use the pain of it for motivation to succeed in the future than try to hide or downplay the simple truth that sometimes our best isn’t good enough. Another great line said by Sean Connery in the Rock (which he was a boss in that role)  sums up this sentiment perfectly:

“You’re best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

Take this to heart: Losers whine and winner get it done. Some days you will lose, and that’s ok, because the greatest teacher is failure. It’s not that you’ve failed but it’s the fact that you wallow in the failure that makes it a horrible thing. But if you fail, learn, pick yourself up and continue to push you will be successful and you will have an appreciation for those wins.

2. You are responsible for your situation. In your life, you have to accept that the 1 factor that that you have absolute control over is you. You can get caught up in headlines, what the latest new from Washington is or a million other things happening in the world. But the fact is, at the end of the day you need to decide what you have to do for you and you have to dedicate yourself to that. It doesn’t matter if you where born into a million dollars are born with 2 cents to your family name.

We presently live in the best time in human history. The world has never been safer, had more access to resources available to people and any thing you could want to know are a few keystrokes and clicks away. The only thing that gets in the way of your success is you. Own it, and watch yourself do wondrous things.

3. No one has it easy. Celebrities, billionaire or other highly successful people don’t have things easy. Everyone in this life has their hardships and issues they have to deal with. Just because you can’t see their struggle does not somehow make your own struggles somehow special. To quote the musician Guru of Gang Starr, “Actions have reactions don’t be quick to judge, you may not know the hardships people don’t speak of.”

Now this is not to downplay the validity of your own struggles, but that doesn’t give you the right to disregard what others are going through. Some people are so poor they have no idea when they will eat again, other people are so rich they are isolated and can’t trust anyone as they have “friends” and family that are continuously trying to take from them. We all have struggles, so it’s best to focus on overcoming them and leave the jealousy of other peoples perceived easiness of life in the wind as it’s not a productive use of your energy or time.

4. “Do or do not, there is no try.” Ironic how words from a movie character (Yoda) can contain some powerful life wisdom. You either find a way to get it done or you find an excuse why you can’t. Plain and simple. If you have a goal, you need to make that your mission in life to get it done, come hell or high water. Now, you can adjust how your approach achieving that goal as go along the way, but at the end of the day it all becomes binary: Did you achieve it, or did you not achieve it?

Only you can answer that question and it’s up to you to hold yourself accountable for that. The best way to stay motivated is to never have a Plan B. Once you have a Plan B you’re subconsciously telling yourself that accepting failure to achieve that goal is an option. A personal mantra I use comes from a brilliant line delivered by John Trivolta in The Taking of Pelgham 123:

“Plan B is enforcing Plan A.”

That line is brilliant because it says he’s dead focused on a singular purpose and all of his being is working to execute it…even his “backup plan” is pushing through to execute and realize the vision of his main objective.

That’s my pep talk for today. I don’t know who you are or your story in life, but it is my sincerest hope that you live the life of your dreams and that you achieve your goals. I believe that we all can achieve greatness together and we won’t succeed by living solely to cut others down. I’ll leave you with another quote from the brilliant Felix Dennis (if you don’t know who he is you should google him), which reflects a core belief I hold:

“A swelling tide raises all boats, including yours.”

Go be the champion of your life.

In this 14 June 1998 file photo, Michael Jordan (L

Gay Club Game For Straight Guys

Night Club

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” –  Neale Donald Walsch

In my experience, a very underrated area for a single straight guy to go meet women is at a gay club. I’ve gone with my gay male friends before just hang and have a good time, and I’ve found that being a straight guy you game gets an amplified boost. With halfway decent game your efforts get an amplified effect, so I’ve broken down a few reasons why below. Now note that these observations apply to straight men and straight women.

4. You’re open minded and know how to have fun.

A lot of straight guys get hung up on the “gay” part of the gay club. Either they don’t feel comfortable, it’s not something they wish to be associated with, or there is a host of other reasons. But in any case, by virtue of you being at a gay club signals that you’re open minded and down for a good time. The message you’re translating is that you’re a man comfortable enough with his own sexuality to be in a place that would seem to put you outside of your comfort zone. Use this frame to set the tone for your night.

3. In an ocean of unattainable guys, you are a beacon of attainability.

Why do straight girls go gay clubs? So they can look at hot guys while dancing, having fun and not worrying about anyone hitting on them. They can do a little window shopping, like when people look at homes or cars they can’t afford yet. They want to get a little taste of the dream. That being said, when you have women that are looking at a bunch of attractive men that they know they have no real chance with, but then you come along to and show them that they don’t have to stick to window shopping that night. It’s not always the most shredded 6-pack abs covered in baby oil type guy that gets the girl…sometimes it’s the most attainable guy, who you know, likes girls. Which leads to point #3…

2. Your competition is minimal

This should be self explanatory but I’ll mention this point to reinforce point #3. In a sea of sharks that only want to eat other sharks, this leaves ample amounts of tuna for a shark that wants tuna to eat. Translating that to the gay club, you’ll find that other dudes trying to cockblock or AMOG you with other girls is minimal. At regular clubs you have to deal with those distractions more regularly, but at the gay club you’ll find that other dudes hitting on you will distract you more than other guys trying to compete for the girl you’re going after. The script is flipped, in which girls now have other guys competing to get you, so play with that competitive advantage a little.

1. The environment is a massive wingman

All the prior points outline the fundamental message I want to drive home: The entire place, though not intended to, actually acts as a facilitator and amplifier for your game. Another big help is that gay clubs, in typical guy fashion, are very overt and charged with sexual energy. The entire environment is a giant social Viagra that is designed to get people excited, amped up and turned on. So when you have women entering this sexually supercharged zone with no outlet for it, your job is made a whole lot easier. Do you still need to put in work? Yes, because unless you’re like Leonardo DiCaprio, chances are you can’t just show up and get swarmed by girls (and guys alike). So yes, you will need your game skills but you’ll find they have an amplified effect.

That’s all for this post, so get out there and take over the world gents.

 

The Workaround

Workaround

“Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.” – E. Joseph Cossman

For this post I wanted to share a field report from a recent night out that proved to be a most amusing adventure. I also want to state for the record that this article as well as any article I write is always regarding consensual sex between adults. The number of adults involved may vary (orgies do happen), but the underlying principal is the same. I only condone sex between consenting adults and if you misread anything I say then that’s on you.

This particular evening, I was out and about in one of the beach cities here in SoCal, meeting up with a friend to hang at venue to checkout a band that was playing. apparently this band had a big following so the place was pretty packed. The energy and the vibe was good, and for a local beach scene music venue the crowd was particularly festive.

I had been hanging with a good friend of mine that night, and at various points we had interacted with and flirted with a few group of girls. Toward what I thought was the end of the night, I was hanging at the bar at last call. This girl I had talked to for a few minutes earlier in the night came up to the bar get one last glass of wine. She was a cute blonde with a curvy figure and very stunning green eyes. We’ll call her Kelly. We had previously had a conversation about the merits of the pocket square.

“Topping off?” I said to her as she got a last glass of wine. She smiled and we began conversing again, though this time we covered the topic of how last call in LA is way too early. “Well, my friend and I are thinking of hitting this after hours place,” I said.  “You should join.” Her face lit up with a sparkle of excitement as she replied “Tell me more!”

I told her about this place my friend and I knew of that was open well past 6 in the morning and it was close by to where we were. My friend came and I told him we should hit up after hours with our new tag-along, to which he agreed and went to use the bathroom. Kelly and I went outside by my car and once she saw it we started talking about cars because she worked for a car company. It turns out that she not only new a friend of mine who recently left that company, but she was the person that actual had hired them. After the small world moment and getting a few IOI’s we started making out. I was tempted to text my friend “had to run” but he wound up popping out of the venue right as I was thinking it. We all got into my car and proceeded to the after hours place.

In true after hours fashion, this place was located in an alley way in a business park. I parked and we all got out to see the front door closed. Unknown to us, this spot recently decided it would only be open on Saturdays, and this night was a Friday. After a minute we realized that our hopes for after hours activities where going to be dashed, so we started walking back to my car. Enroute, a large Uber SUV rolled up with a festive group inside. Two guys enthusiastically hoped out excited to get to the after hours spot, but saw that it looked closed. My friend went to strike up a conversation with the the guys and so I told Kelly that we should wait in the car since it was warm.

Hoping into my car, Kelly and I made some small conversation for a minute before I pulled her in to start making out. It started getting a little hot and heavy, when Kelly pulled back with a mischievous smile.

“I’m not that easy,” she said. I smiled back and said “Good…I like coming up with a good workaround.”

We started to make out some more, things got hot and heavy again and then I pulled back and told Kelly to “hold that thought.” I hopped out of my car to ask my friend what the status was. As I was walking towards him, apparently another Uber had rolled up and dropped off 4 girls, that had been looking to find an after hours spot. My friend informed me that the girls knew of an after hours spot out 35 minutes from where we were. I looked at my friend and said “It looks like you have a situation here, and I have a situation in the car. I think this is where we split ways.” My friend concurred and I went back to my car.

“What’s going on with your friend?” Kelly asked.

“He’s ditching us to try another spot across town,” I replied. “But I’ll give you a lift back to your place.”

“Ok,” Kelly replied. “But I’m not sure if I have any booze.”

“Don’t worry,” I replied. “We’ll figure out a workaround.”

Since it was now 3 am, it only took 5 minutes to get back to her place. We got inside and all she had was some rum, a bottle of wine, and a bottle of vodka. I opted for some wine and we got cozy on her couch as she started talking about how she loves traveling and all of the different places she’s been too. We then talked about our favorite hidden gems in different cities, and pretty soon the wine was gone. We started making out again, and then this time I got her topless in a few minutes. After some foreplay she pulled back and said “You can spend the night, but I’m not having sex with you on the first night.”

Seeing this LMR I knew that she really wanted to fuck my brains out, but didn’t want me to think she was some easy slut. I looked at her with a smile and then with a wink I said “I can work with that workaround.” She then led me to her bedroom, where we hopped under the covers and cuddled.

After a few moments, we started making out, and then I reached down to run my hand on the inside of her upper thigh. She let out a soft moan and then playfully said “What are you up to?” I said “I’m working around” as I rubbed her inner thigh a bit more. I then slipped two fingers inside of her wetness. She grabbed my face, looked me dead in the eye and said “I want to fuck you.”

We proceeded to have very passionate and intense sex for the next few hours. The next day as I was leaving she said “You’re persistent…I like that.” I replied back “I like figuring out workarounds,” with a wink.

Takeaways

3. Always have an after party. When out on the night, always have a venue, be it your pad, a friend’s place or an actual after hours venue that you can head to. This keeps the night going as well gives you an arrow in your Game quiver.

2. Sometimes you’ll hit LMR. LMR can happen, as in this case she was literally topless and gave me every signal for sex, but then told me she wasn’t going to have sex on the first night. My gut told me that she didn’t want me to think less of of her, but I kept my cool and went with the flow. Then 2 minutes later she was grabbing me and telling me how badly she wanted to fuck me. When LMR happens, listen to your gut and go with the flow. Throwing a fit or trying to negotiate or beg for sex is unsexy and is the fastest way to turn a girl off. If a girl is making it blatantly clear she’s not into you sexually, then stay cool and back off. It doesn’t matter what led to it, never ever force someone to be sexual without their consent. Go with the flow. If she’s verbally saying “no” but playing with your dick then there’s a solid chance that if you follow the flow you’ll be having sex in no time. But if you’re making out and she suddenly stops, gets distant and says “no,” then chances are somethings changed and sex won’t be happening. Trust your gut and pay attention to the ques she’s giving you.

To quote Dave Perrotta:

“Beating LMR does NOT mean forcing a girl into sex that she doesn’t want. I would NEVER condone that. You should have the ability to tell where the line is in this situation. Instead, beating LMR is more like helping her feel more comfortable with you, getting her turned on, and opening the door for a sexual experience that you’ll both be happy about afterwards.”

1. Stay persistent. This night there where many obstacles to overcome or “work around,” which was the key word. And yes, I actually did say “workaround” a lot that night. Not only was I keeping myself focused, but it also helped translate my intentions and show that I was adaptable to the situation. From the after hours spot being closed to the LMR, staying persistent in finding a workaround paid off nicely.

Stay suave folks.

Suave

 

 

 

 

The Catfish Maneuver

Bulet Dodge

“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” – Edgar Allan Poe

We all have our own approaches styles, and some are more high risk than others. But sometimes one man’s folly creates an opportunity for another man. This post is about an experience I recently had that involved a creepy opening and a little improv that led to an entertaining out come.

I was having dinner at a restaurant I frequent with a few friends. Being the observant group we are, we noticed a table of 3 very attractive girls close to the bar. They looked to be about 22, but they where in high spirits on what appeared to be a girls night. As one of them walked to the bathroom, they had to pass by our table and so I began to figure out the best way to make the approach. Since there was a table of 3, making the cold approach was not ideal, but if I could “plant the seed” and then harvest it later, that would make my cold approach much warmer.

When I spotted the girl returning from the bathroom, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and as soon as I made eye contact with her I pointed and said “I know you from somewhere…” She looked at me trying to figure out who I was and responded with “I not sure I do.” I responded by stating “I’m pretty sure I do…” and since she looked to me like a Marie, I said “Marie?” She looked a little surprised and said “That’s my middle name…” to which I knew the seed had been planted, so I said “I’m not sure where I know you from because I never forget a face. This is going to haunt me. I’m going to hit the bathroom but I’ll be over in a bit to get this figured out.” She shook her head in agreement and went to her table to join her friends while I went to the bathroom.

I returned from the bathroom and stopped by my table to check in with my friends, and I noticed an older guy who was dressed like a rock star; the dark sunglasses…indoors…at night, faded leather jacket, many rings on his fingers and torn skinny jeans. He was making his way out of the restaurant and I told my friends that I was going to go harvest the seed i just planted. I made my way over to the bar, since my friend was working as the lead bartender and he was stationed right in front of the girls table. I began chatting him up to see how everything was with him, then I pointed out the table of girls behind me and told him he should come say hi in about 5 minutes so I could introduce them to him. He asked me if I knew them and I said “Not yet, but I’m about to,” and I walked up to the girls.

The girl I was talking to initially, we’ll call her Jessica Marie, was sitting in the middle, which made it easy for me to launch right into it. “Ok,” I said. “We need to figure this out…” “Yes we do,” she replied, and then I explained to her friends that I knew Jessica from somewhere but couldn’t place my finger on where. After a quick convo, I found out that she’s from about 40 minutes from where I grew up and still lives there. She was out for a girls night with her two friends, who are also from the same area. As I was walking up to them, I noticed they had been looking at a napkin right before I arrived so I asked them about it. “OH MY GOD!” Jessica exclaimed as she pushed the napkin forward. “This totally creepy guy came and left this at our table.” I took a look at the napkin and this is what it read:

“Your features are beautiful. The could have been crafted by Peter Carl Faberge. He created 57 Russian Imperial Easter Eggs for Tsar Nicholas II and Alexandra of the Romanov Dynasty.

(over) [- yes, this was instructions to flip the napkin over]

What about dinner

1. Polo Lounge Beverly Hills Hotel

2. SoHo Sunset Blvd or Malibu

3. Mastro’s

4. Your choice

I am a rock star

*phone number*
Malibu”

“Wow,” I said. This was one of those moves that only goes 1 of 2 ways: Decent, or very wrong. It went very wrong in this case. “I can’t believe how creepy that guy was” One of Jessica’s friends said. “So creepy!” said the other one. Seizing the opportunity, I came up with an idea on the spot. “Well, this guy may need to be taught a lesson,” I said. So I grabbed the napkin, input the number in my phone and then texted “Malibu?”

All three girls looked at me with the “I-can’t-believe-you-just-did-that” face to which I replied, “Now we’re going to have some fun.” While we awaited a response, I kept the conversation with the girls going and then my bartender friend popped over. I quickly introduced him and told the girls he’s the guy they need to see for top quality beverages. My bartender friend then said he was going to make a special off menu cocktail for the table, when suddenly my phone beeped with a text. The rock star had responded with “Who’s this?” So with the girls eagerly looking over my shoulder I replied “You wrote me a note on a napkin and you forgot who I am?”

A fresh round of drinks from my bartender friend arrived and we had a solid cheers as we were enjoying ourselves and catfishing a creeper. After a few minutes the rock star responded with “Of course I do. You’re beautiful.” As a Red Pill aware guy,  this was a bit painful as this guy’s approach method reeked of Betaness. Too keep things from getting too real, I texted “#1” followed by “I’ll let you know my schedule,” so I could continue focusing on the girls.

After our little game of catfish Jessica’s friends where expressing that they where tired and ready to head home. I let them pay their tab proceeded to grab Jessica’s number and set up a date for the following week. I then returned to my table with my friends to continue our night of merriment.

As for the rock star? Well, I ghosted him after that night to which he recently texted me “You’re a pretty girl but I’m surrounded by beautiful girls all the time. Being a rock star has its advantages. You’ve taken too long to respond to my invitation for dinner. Something I am very much unaccustomed to therefore I am canceling my invitation to you forthwith, which means now! I wish you the best of luck with your future.”

Best of luck with your future as well, good sir.

Takeaways

4. Approach in person, not on napkins. The point of this post is not to humiliate or poke fun of the rock star, but it is to illustrate the difference in approach styles. Actually facing a girl and talking to her as apposed to writing a sonnet about her beauty and pedestalizing her off the bat produced night and day results. One method resulted in a phone number and date, the other in being viewed as a creep.

3. Always be ready to improvise. Once I discovered the napkin, it became clear that there was an instant in. By turning the creepy guy into a game, I was able to quickly bond and get in with the girls, as well as providing an entertaining spin to previously uncomfortable moment.

2. Always befriend the bar tender. This particular restaurant I enjoy, but they do have a full bar and I made sure a while back to get to know the bar tender. In this case it paid off in spades as I was seen just chatting the bartender up like an old friend, then introducing him to the group, and then he made a specialty off menu item for the table. This gave me instant status and venue cred with the girls, further establishing me as a high value guy and not a creeper.

1. Don’t use notes on napkins. I could have been a sleaze and taken advantage of this guy or strung him along. But instead I left it be and took note of his reaction. His farewell address shows that he’s miffed about the situation but is trying to tell me how much of a player he is. A real playboy doesn’t need to convince people with his words, he just lives it. I do hope this rock star changes his approach or perhaps uses a different type of game elsewhere, because if you leave your phone number on a napkin at a table, you never know who you might be talking to.

Catfishing

 

 

The Muffin Man

Muffin Man

Do you know the muffin man? – The Muffin Man, Nursery Rhyme

I love to travel, it’s a great experience to sample a different way of life in other cites as well as to absorb the culture and local energy. I’ve also found that travel is the great way to test your game and how well you can adapt it to your environment. This tale comes from a trip to Nashville, which I must admit is an incredibly fun city.

12:40 pm – Arrive in Nashville on a Sunday for a business conference. I wait for a colleague at the airport who is arriving at 12:20 pm so we can go check into our hotel.

1:05 pm – Arrive from the airport to our hotel after an entertaining Uber ride, and check in.

1:15 pm – Meet my colleague in the lobby of the hotel with another colleague so we can walk around and figure out a place to get lunch.

1:20 pm – The first place we pass 1 block from the hotel looks like a good spot, so we hop in there an get settled.

1:25 pm – We are greeted by our waitress, who is this stunning blonde southern belle. She’s about 5’6,” has bright blue eyes, a great body and very cool and friendly attitude. I instantly take full notice of this situation.

1:35 pm – After taking our initial lunch order, I ask where a spry young individual like myself could cause some trouble in town, and the waitress, we’ll call her Belle, proceeds to tell me about a few local spots in downtown that she likes. I take mental notes and continue to flirt here and there throughout lunch.

1:55 pm – We finish lunch and my colleagues get ready to head out. I ask Belle to remind me of the places she mentioned, to which she enthusiastically wrote down a long list on the back of my receipt. I then said to her “This is awesome, I really appreciate it. I’m not sure what you’re up to later tonight, but if you’re free we should meet up. The first round is on me as a thank you for the hospitality.” She happily jots down her digits as well and says “Text me later.” I shuffle out of the restaurant with a smirk as I’ve not even been in the city for 2 hours yet and already have some potential plans for the night.

2:45 pm – I text Belle my info as well as a picture of a cat playing music, which I tell her is my spirit animal and she should use it as my contact photo.

3 pm – Get to the conference, see some colleagues and hash out some business.

4:15 pm – I get a text from Belle with a picture of a cat wearing sunglasses. She lets me know that she’s off work and is heading to hang with some friends, but she’ll let me know once she’s done.

5:45 pm – I text Belle that I am heading to a dinner soon and expect to be free around 7:30.

6:30 pm – I head to dinner with my colleagues.

8:35 pm – I am still at dinner, having a solid time, when I get a text from Belle. She’s with some friends at a rooftop bar in downtown tell me I can join if I want to.

8:45 pm – I let Belle that “I think I’ll have to join once I wrap up dinner.” Belle replies with a simple “Perfect.”

9:15 pm – I text Belle “On my way over.” Belle instantly replies “Sweet. Let me know when you get here!”

9:25 pm – I text Belle that I’ve arrived and make my way up. I get to the rooftop and the venue is pretty active. It’s a Sunday, but there’s a good crowd, 90’s hip-hop music playing and everyone is in a solid mood. I can feel the energy of the night absorbing into me, so I head to the bar and get a drink. At this point, I discovered another perks, which is that the drink prices are half of what they are back in LA, so I know the night has dangerous potential.

9:35 pm – Belle find me at the bar. She had taken the elevator down to the bottom floor while I was going up the stairs and she was looking for me there. I tell her not worry and that she has excellent taste in venues. I also remind her that the first round is on me. We get a round of drinks and she tells me about her background. She used to be a professional back up dancer full time, but now does it part time. We’re hanging for a 30 minutes before three of her friends she was hanging with before come and join up.

10:15 pm – We all hop an Uber over to this gay club that 10 minutes away. We wind up hanging at the bar and Belle gets a round of drinks. This bar is known for their drag queen shows which start at 11 pm. We all have a fun group conversation.

10:40 pm – One of her friends decides to leave, and so as we say our good byes I mention to the other two friends that they might want to walk the third friend out because I had some “secret business” to discuss with their friend. They all head outside while Belle and I stay at the bar and talk for a few minutes. She then says “I’m sure you find people to explore new cities with whenever you’re on the road”. Seeing this shit test for what it was I reply, “I always live in the moment, and being able to share that moment with new people in new places is a beautiful thing.” She then looks at me for a few seconds and then asks “So what do you want to do?” While hold strong eye contact and without saying anything I lean in a kiss her, which leads to some light making out at the bar. 30 seconds after her friends pop back in as the drag show is about ready to start.

11 pm – We watch what turns out to be the most entertaining drag show I’ve ever seen, which included a girl crushing a Justin Timberlake performance.

11:45 pm – We all walk to the club next door for some dancing.

12:15 am – After some dancing I suggest we bounce. Belle and her friends actually express interest in food and Belle suggests this small diner she loves that a block from her house. We all hop into an Uber to grab some grub.

12:25 am – We get to the diner and it’s me, Belle, and her two friends. We get some food and have a random discussion about the places we’ve been and what we would do in hypothetical situations.

12:55 am – After finishing our food, the venue is cash only but I pay the tab since it was dirt cheap and thanked her friends for their hospitality in showing me a good time. Her friends were glad I had a good time and then they took an Uber home after I told them I’d walk Belle back.

1 am – Belle and I get back to her place

3:15 am – I am getting ready to head back to my hotel since I have to be up at 7 for a pre-conference meeting. Belle says “Wait, you can’t just go empty handed.” We go to her kitchen and then she says “Here, take these with you, I had baked them earlier in the day,” as she proceeds to place 4 blueberry muffins into a plastic bag.

3:40 am – I get back to my hotel room and pass out.

7 am – I wake up tired and hungry, but then I crack a smile when I see the blueberry muffins of victory chilling on the desk.

8 am – I arrive at my pre-conference meeting with my colleagues with two muffins in hand for breakfast, and after recapping my evening story they proceed to dub me “The Muffin Man.”

Takeaways

6. Utilize travel game. When traveling, you have an instant play you can make anywhere. Asking locals for suggestions on cool and fun places is a great way to quickly find a spot that suite your style as well as gives you an instant opportunity to invite them along to join. I typically never offer to buy drinks, but it can be a nice way to get the same-day date by offering to get 1 round, especially when you’re traveling.

5. Amplify your Frame to handle travel shit tests. As a guy you always need to be ready for shit tests and need to ensure your Frame is rock solid. When you’re traveling it’s even more important, because the most common shit test you’ll encounter is the “you’re only in town for a short time looking for easy sex” shit test.  Since you are on the road this disadvantage holds more weight, so you need to ensure you don’t let the visiting team throw you off your game.

4. Be open-minded. Going to gay club to watch a drag show is never my first choice of activities to do when traveling, and probably isn’t even on my radar in general. But I kept an open attitude about seeing how the night would unfold and I had a great time with some new friends, as well as being able to keep the same-day date going.

3. Make the most of your time. Since I was only visiting for a quick 3 day trip, I had to hit the ground running and make the most of my time. Hence why when me and Belle met up and her friends joined, it was a better use of time in this case to go with the flow and have a mix of a group/one-on-one date, rather than trying to play ditch the friends game. Her friends were not cock-blocks which helped a lot, and if they had been, it would have been more time-effective to ditch them early.

2. Logistics are clutch. Nashville is a small city, which makes it logistically sound, but always keep logistics in mind. Every spot was a 10 minute drive max that went to which kept the energy going. When the night came near its end going to a diner 1 block away from Belle’s house was clutch because we were literally right next to her place which made for the seamless transition.

1. Nothing beats southern hospitality. I’ve had some great nights out, but to have that much fun with a group of people as well as some amazing one-on-one-time with a really cool girl and the ultimate highlight of having homemade muffins, that’s tough to top. And yes, those muffins were delicious.

Muffins

What Time Is It? It’s Cockblock O’Clock

cockblock

“We shouldn’t be cock-blocking McLovin, we should be guiding his cock.” – Officer Michaels, Superbad

No matter how solid your game is or experienced you become, you’re going to run into cockblocks. Sometimes they are in the form of a well-meaning friend, a hostile person, or a specific scenario. This story I’m going to share with you is one about a situational cockblock, how to play it and what the takeaways are.

The Situation

I was at a local hot spot that my good friend and me frequent a lot. The place has great food, great drinks, and plenty of talent to boot. I know all of the staff at the venue, from the general manager to the bouncers, the bartenders to the hostesses. My friend and I get in, do some flirting with the hostesses and then get settled. We actually have a few other friends there, much to our delightful surprise. We grab some beverages and are involved in a conversation around Burning Man (my one friend just came back from it that day), when I see this older woman (about 45+) sitting at the bar close by where I am by herself. Though she’s older, she looks really good, you couldn’t tell that she was older from afar, only by getting closer could I tell. I sit in the seat next to her as she’s looking over the drink menu and I tell her if she needs a suggestion I have a few go-to recommendations. She responds pleasantly with nice southern accent and we hit it off.

We start talking and I find out she’s visiting from New Orleans  for the weekend. We flirt playfully back and forth and from our conversation she drops hints that she’s been a bit of a wild child back in her day. My other friends that where close by saw the situation was looking prime and was giving me nods of approval. With a this situation looking like I’ll be leaving the venue shortly, I’m feeling great and excited to see just what comes of it.

After about 15 minutes of conversation and heavy flirting, I finally ask why she’s visiting this particular place. She responds with a bit of a bombshell:

“My daughter works here.”

Time seemed to freeze for a quick second, because I am very tight with the staff, they are like my night life family, so I quickly processed the implications of my present situation. While that was happening over the course of 5 milliseconds, her saying that phrase must have put something out in the universe because sure enough, 1 minute later 2 of the hostesses come over (one was the daughter, who is very hot herself). The daughter greats her mom and says she wanted to check in on her to make sure she was good. This is one of those situations where I played it super cool on the outside, but on the inside I was laughing at myself and also thinking about how both of them would be fun to experience, but the internal laughter was far greater.

The daughter and other hostess leave and then 2 minutes later one of the bouncers comes over to “check in on mom.” At this point I knew getting the lay would not be worth the complications it would cause for me at the venue, which has provided for me many times, and these “check ins” continued from the staff over the next 10 minutes. Seeing that I was dealing with a situational cockblock, I switched my mindset from flirt mode into friend mode, and brought in with my larger group of friends.

We had a fun time exchanging crazy stories and discussing the best kinds of drinks. At midnight, the daughter’s shift ended and so she left with her mom, though the mom made it very clear she was “very glad to meet me” and my friends where asking me why I was not leaving with her. I gave them the full story and we all had a great laugh, to which my one friend commented that “I don’t come here that often so I’d be more than happy to play daddy. We had another great laugh and then this brunette girl caught and her friend caught my attention. I went over to them and struck up a quick conversation, which lead to them leaving with my friend and me to hang at an after hours cafe.

Takeaways

4. It’s not you, it’s the situation. The key is realizing that the situation is a cockblock, as in this example. See the situation for what it is and that will inform your next move…

3. Just because you can get it, doesn’t mean you always should. While it was clear that with a little work, I could overcome the situational cockblock and get the notch, what wold be the true cost of that notch? I get the royal treatment at this venue night after night, and so getting this notch could cause a bit of a disruption in that. It’s not worth it, especially considering the next takeaway…

2. Always keep the abundance mentality. Yes, there was a slam dunk in front of me, but by keeping the abundance mentality and not seeing this 1 girl as my only shot for sex that night, I was able to have a great time, keep things sold with the venue staff and then meet two other girls shortly after.

1. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Situational cockblocks suck, but they are certainly learning experiences that you can look back and laugh on, sometimes laugh at in the moment. It’s all in good fun.

Be sure to follow this blog for more content, tips and entertaining stories. Leave a comment to share your own stories. Cheers.

Laugh it up

 

Two Quick Text Game Tips

Texting

“Today’s kids aren’t taking up arms against their parents; they’re too busy texting them.” – Nancy Gibbs

For this post I wanted to give you guys a few quick and actionable tips for boosting your meetup rates via text. Ever met a girl and everything was clicking, then you get her number, exchanged a few texts and then suddenly it seems like things have cooled off? Here’s a few tips to keep the energy up as well to avoid common ways you accidentally cock block yourself via text.

2. Setup logistics ASAP

One problem most guys get into is that they fall into the “text trap” of idle, irrelevant conversation via text. They ask how her day is going, what she thinks about a certain subject and basically everything but what’s important: finding a time to meetup. Save the small talk for when you’re in person, that way you have things to actually talk about. For initial texting you’ll want to acknowledge that you have her number saved and that you guys should meet up asap (be it later that night, tomorrow or next week) depending on the situation. This leads to the next point…

1. Be decisive and specific when setting up logistics.

A lot of guys typically give vague, general time frames that create no sense of urgency. Usually they’ll say “lets hang some time” or “we can go grab drinks next week.” That’s fine and dandy if you want to have average results. If you want to up your Game to the next level, be a man of decisive action. “Let’s hang this Thursday at bar X” or “We’ll grab drinks tomorrow at 8” are quick, decisive and specific statements that will help improve your conversion rate. Having a specific and time day does a few things:

1) Implies that your availability is limited, which gets the hamster spinning.

2) It’s easier for the girl to adjust her plans as opposed to “sometime next week”…if she’s just met you, unless she’s really, really into you she’s got other stuff going on and isn’t going to keep an entire week free hoping on the off chance you’ll hit her up.

3) It shows you’re a decisive individual that makes quick decisions and reinforces your Frame.

4. You’re not asking, you’re subtly commanding. Instead of saying “sometime next week” which is more of an ask, you’re telling her “it’s this day, be there.” It subtly makes you the prize and as I said before, reinforces your Frame.

I could write an entire dissertation on texting game, but for today I wanted to give a few quick and easy tips to help you right now. If I can help a few of you out then that’s what I’m in it for.

Go out and get it!

Get It.jpeg

 

 

Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

Cake

“But of course you can have your cake and eat it, too – if you decide to to bake a second cake. And you may well find that baking two cakes does not take twice the work of baking one.” – Robert Kuttner 

It has been said that you can’t have your cake and eat it to, so for this post I thought I’d share a story of mine that’s related very much to the topic and the Red Pill takeaways from it. Spoiler alert – I did have my cake, I did eat it too and it was delicious.

Two years ago I had met this girl while out partying one random night near the beach. That night was pretty crazy, I wound up somehow partying with NBA player Deandre Jordan from the Clippers at his VIP table setup in the middle of this club. That part is neither here nor there, because I met this girl as I was heading out from the venue. I had popped to the outside patio with a buddy of mine, who had just shown up, and we had a third friend that wanted to meet up at a place across the street. I was game to change venues, the night was winding down, I had grabbed a few phone numbers, and since I was at the table of an NBA player, every girl there was ready to jump his bones. There are nights when you’re the top dog of the venue, and then there are other nights when a bigger fish comes into the pond. It’s just the ebb and flow of going out, and tonight was one of those nights.

As we were making our way out, this cute brunette caught my eye and she had a blonde friend that was with her. The brunette was half white half Latina mixed, had nice deep brown eyes and a nice petite figure. I struck up a quick conversation with the brunette, while my friend talked with the blonde. After about 5 minutes, I told the brunette that we were heading out, but they should join us for an after hours hangout, to which she responded that she would see, since her and her friend were with a larger group that was celebrating a birthday. I gave her a hug goodbye and she leaned in and kissed me, then said “I’m a tease,” with a wink and me and my friend left.

That night she told me her and the birthday group were calling it around 2am, which was fine since my friends and I were having a pretty serious conversation that night. I told her we would link up in the near future to which she replied she’d like that, and I left the conversation at that. Fast forward two weeks later, I hit her up and we wind up going out on a Friday night. I arrive a her place and meet her by the front door, and then we head over to a dance club that’s a 3 minute drive from her house.

We get inside the dance club and the atmosphere is pretty good. The tunes are solid, there’s a decent crowd out and the line at the bar is short. We grab a few beverages and chit chat about a few random items. At this point my sense is that she’s interested with a little hesitation, but also it’s early in the night. After about a half hour of dancing I pull her over to a booth so we can have a little more of an intimate conversation. We start the “people watching game” and we notice a group of people with balloons there celebrating a birthday. I mentioned how it was my birthday last week, to which she asked “What kind of cake did you have?”

I replied with “I actually never got a cake.”

She looked surprised and said “It was your birthday, by law you need to have cake.”

I replied, “I agree. Can you bake?”

She replied, “You bet I can. I could bake you the best cake you’ve ever had if I had the ingredients.”

I took a quick moment, looked at her with a devious smirk, and said, “Let’s go get some.”

She looked a little surprised and said “Right now?”

I finished my drink, set it down, grabbed her hand and said, “Field trip time.”

I walked her back to my car and we then drove up the street to the super market. We browsed through the baking section and I let her take the charge in gathering the cake supplies. She picked out a funfetti cake mix while I grabbed a bottle of wine. We went to the checkout counter and she commented “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

I just smirked and replied “You gotta be spontaneous.”

We then go back to her house and we cracked open the wine. She put on some music videos while putting the cake making supplies in the kitchen, and then come over to share a glass of wine. At that point I went in for a make out session, then she was topless and we wound up in her bedroom a few minutes later.

The next morning, I left her house near sunrise, and since she lived a block away from the beach I took a nice drive up the coast on the way home. We exchanged a few texts over the next couple of days and then the following weekend we setup a time to meet. I met her at her house again and we walked a few blocks to the movie theater to see Straight of Compton. After the movie we went back to her place were she said she had something for me. Low and behold, there was a fresh baked funfetti cake waiting for me on her dining table. We each had a slice, and to her credit it was really delicious. We wound up hooking up again and this time when I left her place I had a funfetti cake in hand.

Takeaways

1. Logistics are key. The dance club, the store and her house were all within 5 minute of each other which made it a breeze to bounce from one spot to another with ease and without losing any momentum. Always plan your dates/hangouts around easy logistics, especially when it’s the first through third time, after that you can do more extended trips.

2. Always have situational awareness. Beware of your surroundings, as you never know when an opportunity may present itself. Playing the people watching game is a great way to do this. By doing this, I was able to notice the other birthday group which leads me to takeaway 3…

3. Be ready to take the lead at a moments notice. You should already be taking the lead in these situations regardless, but as I mentioned about opportunities presenting themselves, you need to be ready move at a moment’s notice. When she mentioned that she was great at baking, I seized the opportunity to lead her to the store to get the supplies and then to lead her back to her house. If you’re a man worth her time and affection, then you have to be a leading man. Take the lead.

4. Be open minded. Many of the best dates/hangouts I’ve had are ones that are completely unconventional and unique. Going from a dance club to the supermarket to get cake supplies is a very random night, but it happened and it worked extremely well because it was a unique, off the wall story that I’m sure she’d never experienced before (nor had I at that point). But it only happened because I was open to seeing where the night would go.

5. Funfetti cake is delicious, especially when it’s a victory cake.

That’s all for today, thanks for reading and hopefully I’ve given you some food for thought (no pun intended…or is it?). If you enjoy my writing please subscribe or checkout my other articles or leave me a note in the comments sections.

Now go out and get all that life has to offer.

Cake 2

The Lesbian

Girls

“I’m in lesbians with you” – Scott Pilgrim, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

When you have many experiences with women, you will get some interesting situations and have some interesting conversations. You’ll also get shit tested in some interesting and unique ways and this story is about one of the most interesting shit tests I have ever received.

I was at an alumni event at my old college when I had met this 23 year old Latina. She’s a very cute, petite girl with a great figure and sexy eyes. I had given her my business card when we met since the setting was more professional at the event. She texted me later that night saying it was great to meet me. A week later I hit her up about hanging out, to which she responded with:

“Wait, are you asking me out? I’m pretty dense about that kinda of stuff”

My response was “I didn’t realize “hangout” was such a loaded term.”

I can already get a sense that this girl might be the the type to shit test a lot, so I decided to play it very casual and ambiguous to see where this would go. After a few other texts, we setup a time to meet up for hang out a few days later. Now since this was a first encounter and based on the texting there seemed like a lot of shit testing was going to be involved, I decided it would be best to meet on the early side, around 7 pm so that way I could go over for a Netflix and chill session after with another girl that I’ve hooked up with before who also lives in the area around 9:30.

I told the Latina to met up at a lounge I like and I get there about 2 minutes before her. We get seated at a table in a good spot in the lounge, which lets us see out onto the street and makes for great people watching. We exchange a little small talk about how her week went and then about 3 minutes into the conversation I get hit with a shit test that’s way out of left field. She perks up, looks me directly in the eyes and says:

“Just so you know, I’m a lesbian.”

Straight out of left field. No warning, just right into it. I knew this was a pivotal shit test moment, where right off the bat I was being thrown towards the fire to see if I would flinch. In my head I laughed a bit because based on all of the back and forth that led to this meeting, I wasn’t buying it at all. I also had not been hit with this exact shit test out of the blue before either, which was partly entertaining and partly exciting as it represented a new challenge. Without skipping a beat I casually replied:

“That’s awesome.”

She looked a bit surprised at my response. I delivered my response while maintaining my relaxed yet commanding posture, and the tone of my voice was casual. Then I followed up with: “I love me some lesbians.”

She paused for a minute, as her hamster tried to process my responses. She then went on a little bit about her family and how she’s never had a boyfriend. The conversation continued with her doing 90% of the talking, and I could tell based on how I handled the shit test, she was now trying to qualify herself to me. We where talking for another 10 or so minutes when she asked me a question:

“What are you doing after this?”

I believe honesty is the best armor you can have, it keeps you free and also can be a great way to show off an IDGAF attitude when used strategically. Since I had been hit with big shit test out of left field, I decided to throw out one of my own, to see how she reacted to it:

“I’m going to see another girl.”

She had this completely shocked look on her face and instantly asked “What do you mean?”

I replied, “It’ll probably be a Netflix and chill situation. We have a thing that when I see her I’m with her, but when I don’t, I’m not.” I could see the hamster going into overdrive in her head as she was contemplating this news I had relayed. I just sat comfortably while holding eye contact and smirking. My posture was saying “This is the deal, are you with it or not?” She then asked me a few questions about my past relationships, to which I replied that I like to keep things very open so I can experience as many people as possible. She continued on about her thoughts on relationships as we finished our drinks.

About 20 minutes later we wrapped up at the lounge and I took for for a stroll around the down town area. Part of the stroll included a stop at an adult shop. While we were in there she asked me if I had a “Christian Grey Room,” to which I replied “Every room I enter is a Christian Grey room.” I could see a little twinkle in her eye as her hamster began spinning on the implications of what I had said.

After the sex shop I took her to the outside patio of a cigar lounge and we sat there for a bit, discussing random things. We began making out for a bit and then I checked the time. It was 9:15 so it was time to go see my Netflix and chill girl. We said our goodbyes and and she said that we should hang again, which I causally agreed would be cool. That was the start of a very fun situation, in which a week later I’d discover she was a squirter in the back of my car, as well as how to utilize Frame to keep things as a casual hook up for the past 7 months now.

Takeaways:

1. Women will shit test you all the time and in ways you’ll never expect. Always be on your top game and always be ready. You never know exactly how these test will come, but they are coming. Usually the more insecure the girl, the more shit tests you will face. Know who you’re dealing with so you have can anticipate what you’ll have to deal with.

2. Hold Frame. I’ve said it many times before, but Frame is absolutely critical. Without it, I would have been crucified by her shit test. But with it, I was able to work the situation to my advantage.

3. Honesty will set you free. Using strategic honesty, you can be free to be yourself while seeing if she’s down to enter your world and come along for the ride, or if she will fight you tooth and nail every step of the way. By flat out telling this Latina that I was seeing another girl after her, I was free to let her know that I have options and if she is on board with entering my world she’s welcome, if not, she can go her own way and I’ll be fine. It also gives me the freedom to see multiple people without having to feel like I’m sneaking around behind everyone’s back because I’m out in the open with what the situation is. Obviously you don’t need to blab the full truth of your family life or other things, but being honest about what you want and who you are at the right times will work in your favor far more than trying to hide it.

4. Use your own shit tests. For guys we typically call this screening, but don’t be afraid to use some shit tests of your own. This does 2 things. 1) It flips the script and makes YOU the prize, not the guy chasing after her affections. 2) This is a way to qualify how well into your Frame she’ll come into and well as give you better insight into who she is as person. Is she a chill, go with the flow type? Or she the type that has a snarky negative comment about everything? Just as girls use shit tests to expose if a guy is Alpha or not, you need to use shit tests to see if any girl you are with is the type of girl you want to be with.

5. Work the hamster. A girl’s imagination is the most powerful thing you can play with and utilize. Work it often and work it well. Let her imagination take her to a conclusion you lead her to. Too many times guys are just matter-o-factly about things which leaves no room for imagination. Do you want to drive a girl wild with passion and desire? Do you want her to get wet at the thought of a spontaneous encounter of intimacy between you two? Then learn how to use innuendo, flirting, and ambiguity to get her imagination working. If you don’t, you’ll find the girls you go out with will be dryer than the Sahara desert during a drought. In this example, I used these things to keep her hamster constantly going so that by the time our 2nd encounter happened, we where going at it in the back of my car in an alleyway close to her house.

If I’ve given you some good takeaways you can use while entertaining you, then my goal is complete. Go out there and conquer the world friends.

Gentleman