“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” – Albert Einstein
One of the fundamental differences between the Alpha and Beta men that blue Pill men have a hard time differentiating is that one is appreciated, while the other is valued. For the Blue Pill man, appreciation = value, when this is not the case.
Appreciation is a nice thing to have on the surface, because it means people have noticed your efforts and are expressing recognition of it. The problem with appreciation is that the ball pretty stops at acknowledgement, but it seldom leads to action. This is why Blue Pill men are susceptible to the false sense of validation from appreciation, because they see that their investment and actions have been recognized so they feel that corresponding action is just around the corner.
What they fail to see is that appreciation is essentially a few nice words and a pat on the back, and that’s it. Hence why they tend to be orbiters of women that appreciate them for who they are but won’t have sex with them. They falsely assume that because these women appreciate them being different from other guys that eventually these women will come to act on that appreciation. But appreciation is an expression of gratitude, not an action of gratitude.
During my Blue Pill days I easily fell into that trap, as I had many female friends I was interested in dating. Doing the typical Blue Pill things I often received the “compliments” of “You’re a great guy, someone will be lucky to have you” or “I appreciate you as a person, don’t ever change.” In the beginning it was easy to keep on the same path because if people saw how different I was, eventually someone would act on it, right? But eventually the wool was pulled from my eyes as I noticed that what what people said the appreciated didn’t give me any success, and when I did a few things to break that mold, my success rate started improve dramatically. I suddenly realized that “appreciation” was a passive sentiment, not an actionable one.
When a man is valued, he is a person worth going the extra mile and competing for. People will go out of their way to ensure that a man who is valued is happy, content and appeased. A man of value will enjoy the fullest of what people really have to offer, not just their gratitude. People will also make sacrifices for the sake of value as well. Value is an actionable state and you will want to take people at their actions and never their words.
I vividly remember when I had to breakup with my last ex girlfriend. She was a great person and actually was an excellent girlfriend, however, there where two major issues. First, what we wanted out of life was very different at the time, mainly she wanted to have kids very soon and I didn’t. Secondly, I am mildly allergic to dogs and she owned 3 of them, so there was always a bit of a hurdle. I knew calling it off was the right thing to do for the both of us, though it wasn’t an easy decision to make. During our conversation while I outlined those reasons, and I distinctly remember my ex offering to give up her pets for adoption. Now take a moment to think on that. She was willing to sacrifice her pets, which as many of you know how much women love their pets, which she’d also owned for years before even dating me in order to continue to our relationship. That’s an example of being valued. If she didn’t value you, she would have told me “see you later” and shown me the door. But she was willing to do whatever it took to keep me, and that’s a lesson I will not forget anytime soon.
That’s what makes the Red Pill a very empowering tool, is that one gets a much better sense of the how people actually operate. It helps you see appreciation for what it is, a carrot on the stick to keep you moving in one direction instead allowing you to see the entire carrot patch behind you.
To sum it all up
Be a person of value. If you find yourself being “appreciated,” then you’ve got some more work to do. This applies not only to your dating life but your professional life as well. How many employees are “appreciated” and then kick to the curb once their usefulness in done. A truly valued employee is someone that companies will try to poach and compete for and they will make large accommodations to keep them in the organization and happy. Entrepreneurship is the true way to go if you want to get ahead, but that’s another topic entirely and the point remains that if you presently have a job, you should test the waters to see if your company appreciates or values you. You should also do the same in all of your relationships, be them romantic, family or friends. Actions speak louder than words it’s always good to know who appreciates you will just stand back with a smile vs who values you and will take action on it. Know the difference.