Appreciation Vs Value

Scales

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” –  Albert Einstein

One of the fundamental differences between the Alpha and Beta men that blue Pill men have a hard time differentiating is that one is appreciated, while the other is valued. For the Blue Pill man, appreciation = value, when this is not the case.

Appreciation

Appreciation is a nice thing to have on the surface, because it means people have noticed your efforts and are expressing recognition of it. The problem with appreciation is that the ball pretty stops at acknowledgement, but it seldom leads to action. This is why Blue Pill men are susceptible to the false sense of validation from appreciation, because they see that their investment and actions have been recognized so they feel that corresponding action is just around the corner.

What they fail to see is that appreciation is essentially a few nice words and a pat on the back, and that’s it. Hence why they tend to be orbiters of women that appreciate them for who they are but won’t have sex with them. They falsely assume that because these women appreciate them being different from other guys that eventually these women will come to act on that appreciation. But appreciation is an expression of gratitude, not an action of gratitude.

During my Blue Pill days I easily fell into that trap, as I had many female friends I was interested in dating. Doing the typical Blue Pill things I often received the “compliments” of “You’re a great guy, someone will be lucky to have you” or “I appreciate you as a person, don’t ever change.” In the beginning it was easy to keep on the same path because if people saw how different I was, eventually someone would act on it, right? But eventually the wool was pulled from my eyes as I noticed that what what people said the appreciated didn’t give me any success, and when I did a few things to break that mold, my success rate started improve dramatically. I suddenly realized that “appreciation” was a passive sentiment, not an actionable one.

Value

When a man is valued, he is a person worth going the extra mile and competing for. People will go out of their way to ensure that a man who is valued is happy, content and appeased. A man of value will enjoy the fullest of what people really have to offer, not just their gratitude. People will also make sacrifices for the sake of value as well. Value is an actionable state and you will want to take people at their actions and never their words.

I vividly remember when I had to breakup with my last ex girlfriend. She was a great person and actually was an excellent girlfriend, however, there where two major issues. First, what we wanted out of life was very different at the time, mainly she wanted to have kids very soon and I didn’t. Secondly, I am mildly allergic to dogs and she owned 3 of them, so there was always a bit of a hurdle. I knew calling it off was the right thing to do for the both of us, though it wasn’t an easy decision to make. During our conversation while I outlined those reasons, and I distinctly remember my ex offering to give up her pets for adoption. Now take a moment to think on that. She was willing to sacrifice her pets, which as many of you know how much women love their pets, which she’d also owned for years before even dating me in order to continue to our relationship. That’s an example of being valued. If she didn’t value you, she would have told me “see you later” and shown me the door. But she was willing to do whatever it took to keep me, and that’s a lesson I will not forget anytime soon.

That’s what makes the Red Pill a very empowering tool, is that one gets a much better sense of the how people actually operate. It helps you see appreciation for what it is, a carrot on the stick to keep you moving in one direction instead allowing you to see the entire carrot patch behind you.

To sum it all up

Be a person of value. If you find yourself being “appreciated,” then you’ve got some more work to do. This applies not only to your dating life but your professional life as well. How many employees are “appreciated” and then kick to the curb once their usefulness in done. A truly valued employee is someone that companies will try to poach and compete for and they will make large accommodations to keep them in the organization and happy. Entrepreneurship is the true way to go if you want to get ahead, but that’s another topic entirely and the point remains that if you presently have a job, you should test the waters to see if your company appreciates or values you. You should also do the same in all of your relationships, be them romantic, family or friends. Actions speak louder than words it’s always good to know who appreciates you will just stand back with a smile vs who values you and will take action on it. Know the difference.

Cheers.

Female Friends

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Cheers To You

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“I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy.” –  Will Arnett

I just wanted to take a moment and express my thanks and gratefulness for everyone who’s downloaded my e-book. I hope you have found some value that’s helped improve your life. If you haven’t picked it up yet, check it out for less than the price of a beer or fancy cup of coffee.

Cheers.

Book Cover 1 Fianl

 

Dirty Laundry

Dirty Laundry

“The secret of the creative life is how to feel at ease with your own embarrassment. We’re all in the dirty laundry business and we’re being paid to take risks and look silly. Race car drivers get paid to risk their lives in a more concrete way; we get paid to risk our lives in an emotional way.” – Paul Schrader

One of the most challenging things to deal with in life, especially in the dating game is with your past. Specifically things that embarrass you or may not put you in the best light. We all have these skeletons, be it a picture taken while drunk and passed out or that time you got caught having sex with the neighbor’s daughter in her car. So how do you deal with your personal dirty laundry?

3. Prevention is the best cure. First things first, is making wise decisions. If you find yourself at a party with people acting crazy and committing arson, then it might not be the wisest idea to be on video in your friend’s snap story yelling “burn it!” at the top of your lungs. A side effect of the internet age is that once things are out there, the are out there. So be smart with how you conduct yourself. I’m not saying don’t go out and have a good time, but just be conscious of the day and age we’re in. One thing you do could wind up all over the web.

2. Own it. What’s past has past, you can’t take it back. So the only thing you can do is own it and move on. When you attempt to bury it, lie about it, or run away from it, somehow it always manages to catch up with you. I’m not saying you should highlight it or lead off with it, but if it does come up, the way to handle it is to take ownership of it.

Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you. – Tyrion Lannister

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Building on the second point of owning your past, you have to own it but that doesn’t mean that you have owe every a long, heartfelt sob story on how you where young and dumb.  You can be honest about your past in the sense of “yes that happened,” and you can leave it at that. Frankly most people don’t care and also trying to explain the past gives them ammo to be used against you in the future. I have plenty of things from my past that I have to own, like being very Blue Pill, being in debt and being homeless. Your past refines you, not defines you. So use it as fuel to drive your life in a positive direction. So should you find yourself confronted by the dirty laundry of your past, take ownership of it and let it be known that while you’re not proud of it, it is a par of your story and you’ve grown as a person and moved on from it.

Cheers.

Ass

A Bottle of Wine, A Service Elevator & A Hot Tub

Champaign Pour

“Life is either a great adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller

Based of the title of this post, what do these 3 things have in common? They can all be key elements of an adventure than ends in getting you laid. Allow me to give you a field report of a crazy adventure that happened down in San Diego a few years ago.

The Story

I was in San Diego for a conference, and the company I was with was in talks with another company about doing a joint-partnership. We all met up for a lunch meet and great, so we all could get to know each other’s teams. One of the girls from this other team was a very cute girl named Stacy. She had dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, a great smile and very solid body. She was older than me but had a very bubbly personality. I took mental note of this as we proceeded to have a meeting after the lunch about how our companies would work together.

The following night, there was a party being thrown by one of the major sponsors of the conference at this club and both of our companies where attending this party. Everyone on my team and the other team secured a booth for both teams and then the bottles of wine started flowing. I began talking with the members of the other team and then started talking with Stacy, who turns out is from the mid west and hasn’t been in San Diego before. Somehow the guess my age game came up and she asked me to guess her age. I responded by saying “That’s tough because you look 22 but you carry yourself with a mature presence, so I’m inclined to think you’re older.” She blushed a bit and said “So what age?” “28,” I replied. “I’m 37” she said. I responded with, “I don’t believe you, let me see your ID.” She replied “Seriously?” I then held out my hand and munitioned for an ID. She then got out her driver’s license and handed it to me. I scanned it over for a minute and then I said in a playful tone “I know a fake ID when I see one, you’re not fooling me with this.” She blushed again and took back her licence. “I’m not sure what to tell you,” she said, at which point I asked her strong her dance moves where and a group of us went to the dance floor to dance to the music played by this great cover band.

After some solid dancing we made our way back to the booth. “What’s the game plan after this?” I asked Stacy. She told me her hotel had a rooftop bar that she wanted to check out. Since it was about 1:15 am and the party was winding down, I said “that’s an excellent idea.” I then grabbed the nearly full  bottle of wine off the table, handed her a glass, and took a glass for myself. We then strolled out the back entrance and somehow found a cab on the street, that shuffled us back to her hotel. We got into the hotel and took the elevator to the floor below the rooftop bar. “I forgot we need a certain room key to get up to the roof,” she said. “Let’s explore,” I said as we walked into the hallway.  we walked for a minute or two before we came to a door that had the word “Service” written above it. The door was slightly popped out, but still closed. I pulled out my hotel’s room key card, and then slide it into the part of the door where the bolt mechanism was. After a few seconds, I was able to get the key card in and open the door. “Follow me,” I said, as we walked through to the service hallway and found the service elevator. “Bingo” I said, as we got into the service elevator and then took it up to the rooftop. Once we got out to head to the bar, we saw it was empty as the staff was closing the place down. Turns out it was 2:15  am by the time we up there, so we had missed our window.

“Time for plan B” I said, as we took the main elevator back down to ground floor. We made our way to the hot tub and dipped our legs in as we sipped wine and she proceeded to talk about her background and the places she’s traveled. after about 10 minutes a security guard came and told us the pool area closes at midnight. “Apologies, we just had to dip our toes in for a few minutes, if that’s cool with you sir,” I said to the guard. He gave us a nod and said, “If you happen to be hear on my next round, then I’ll have to boot you out.” “Understood,” I said to him as I gave him a wave.

I the focused my attentions on Stacy. I had made a few attempts to escalate the kino during conversation, however, Stacy was a very avid talker so she focused on keeping the conversation going. After 30 more minutes of conversation, it was nearing 3 am and I reached a point where I was ready for sleep. “This has been a grand adventure” I said, “I’ll walk you back to your room, but it’s late so no bed time story for you.” She laughed as we got up and we went back up to her room which was about 15 floors up. At this point I was looking forward to getting back to my hotel to get some sleep as I had a fun night and did what I could to try to get some action going. I gave her a good by hug, which then led to us making out, and that led to a crazy sex marathon in which we had sex in literally every part of the room, from the bed to the couch to the shower the following morning. She was a bit of a screamer, and hearing her scream my name for about an hour certainly made the long conversation at the hot tub worth it.

As I was leaving her room around 9 am, the couple in the room next door was also leaving at the same time. They both gave a me a funny look, and then the woman said, “Good morning…Alpha.” I smirked back and said “A good morning indeed,” as I gave them a point and head nod and proceeded to take the elevator down the lobby with them.

Takeaways

4. Persistence is key. Just when I thought my night was over, it actually was just starting. It’s always up to you to see how long you’re willing to ride things out, but you might be surprised how they turn very quickly in your favor if you stick with it. Obviously paying careful attention to signs is important. In this case this girl keep talking and conversing, but her body language never closed herself of or implied that she was uninterested. If a girl is giving you clear “no’s” then it’s time ti call it quits. But if you’re getting good signals than it’s worth exploring.

3. Take the lead. We left the one party to go checkout the bar at her hotel. When we couldn’t get to the roof, I found a way into the service entrance. When the bar on the turned out to be closed, I took her to the hot tub. Then from the hot tub I walked her back to her room.

2. Don’t be afraid to break a few rules. Taking the bottle of wine, making our way into the service elevator and staying in the hot tub after closing were all fun things that broke a few rules. Obey the law, but break the rules, as the wine was paid for, the service entrance door was not fully closed, and the guard turned out to be cool with us kicking it at the hot tub after hours. This showed that I’m a man that does what he wants, when he wants, and doesn’t follow the rules everyone else does.

1. Hotel sex in the morning with a superb view of San Diego is awesome. That is all.

Bron

 

Name Your Game

Rat Pack

“Your life is not a simulation; it’s the real game. Play wisely.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich

As you develop your Game skills and understanding, you realize that there are many different type of Game styles that can utilize. Usually one style is the most effective for you, but you can utilize more than one at different times or concurrently to improve your success rate. For this post, I’ll be detailing below 4 different Game styles and the personality types these are very effective for, with 4 real-world examples of each.

4. Great Gatsby Game

Cheers

Style: This game style is not so much named because of who the fictional character Jay Gatsby was, since he was extremely Beta; but more so about what he represented. Gatsby was known for hosting and throwing large, grand and very elaborate parties that made him the talk of the town. Gatsby was about viewing life as a grand adventure and being larger than life. This made him so charming and appealing because he had a sense of optimistic innocence to his world view that made it easy for people to get swept up in; it was pure.

This style will draw shit testing from women’s pragmatic side or the people trying to pull you out of “fantasy play land” and back to “the real world.” This is countered by adopting the old Playstation mantra: “Live in your world; play in ours.” Great Gatsby Game is about bringing people into your Frame and you maintaining it. Your world is one of fun, celebration and adventure. The trick is to not let the guests in your world change it back into their world.

Personality Type: This Game style is best suited for guys that are social, especially those with “larger than life” personalities. Typically these guys have no problems approaching and opening an individual or a group of people and within 5 minutes they are are charmed by their spell. This Game style utilizes social proof and bravado and results in you very overtly owning the room. I make the most use of this style personally, as it suits my personality and passion for adventure in life.

Examples: Walt Disney, John Wayne, James Dean, Elon Musk

3. James Bond Game

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Style: This Game style is defined as being sleek, subtle, and follows a more Classic Alpha archetype. Unlike the Great Gatsby Game, James Bond Game is much more poised. Everything seems calculated and strategic, there are “no accidents” when employing this game. There is always an sense of “I know a juicy secret about the world and I won’t tell anyone” that draws an entices people in; it’s the sense of mystery generated by the great confidence and poise. This Game style also gets a lot of shit tests thrown at it, which are then deflected with the greatest of ease by a smirk and quick comment. There is always an air of classy superiority that is present, regardless if there is social proof or not. This style runs on 100% rock-solid Frame.

This style is loathed by Beta orbiters because there is no clearly visible reason why this style is so intriguing to women, and so they will shit test, run interference and try to “protect” women from this unknown danger that represents a threat to their misguided investment in women. This style will use that to your advantage to show how confidently Alpha you are and will draw women in more powerfully while getting the Betas to push themselves away further.

Personality Type: This Game style is best suited for guys that would rather approach indirectly or by proximity, rather than go out of their way to make a direct approach. Guys that are great at the concept of Amused Mastery and are good at using teasing and sarcasm.

Examples: Frank Sinatra, Clint Eastwood, Sean Connery, George Clooney

2. Jeff Goldblum Game (aka The Eccentric Genius Game)

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Style: This unconventional style of Game owns that fact all the way while highlighting how many different Red Pill concepts can be executed brilliantly in very diverse ways. On the outside these might seem like head-scratching outliers, but for those who know how to read the Red Pill tells, it makes perfect sense. This style is based on embracing one’s social uniqueness and holding total Frame control while doing so. What this Frame hold does is it makes the rest of the world seem like it’s off and the one projecting the Frame is the standard. Rather than conform to the world this style is about getting the world to conform to you.

This style can be an acquired taste in certain situations, but once’s it’s honed, it’s charm is almost irresistible, because it creates instant social proof by getting everyone to conform. Jeff Goldblum, who I have had the pleasure of meeting and is the reason why this style is named after him, is a prime example of this. When you’re in his presence you feel like you’re caught in a mental conversation he’s having with himself, but his sense of charm and inquisitive curiosity makes the experience uniquely fun and very memorable. It’s a different version of Great Gatsby Game in sense that you’re bringing others into your own reality, however this reality is not larger than life, this reality is one simple thing: You.

Personality Type: This works very well for people who are introverted, a little socially awkward or who have a more unique view of the world but would not be defined as classically Alpha. Book-smart and nerdy guys excel at this style of Game.

Examples: Jeff Goldblum, Woody Allen, John Malkovich, Howard Hughes

1. Tortured Genius Game

Jim-Morrison

Style: This style of Game is a variant of the Alpha Bad Boy archetype and is one of the most powerful and effective types of Game there is. This type of Game is “No fucks given” to the highest degree. Abundance mentality rules as many may come and go, one thing remains, the driving goal or passion in life. This passion, be it art, music, acquiring wealth or any other obsession will always be the top priority. Lil Wayne stated it best: “I’m married to the Game and I love my wifey.” For girls, this means that they will always be in direct competition with that driving passion and that they will always come in 2nd place to it, effectively making them a gloried mistress. Usually paired with a knack for creativity, this game creates that irresistible combo to women of strong Alpha traits paired with a “beautiful soul,” as only their uniquely feminine charms can see into it and witness the raw creative talent. A common phrase heard is “He chose me,” which reflects that this Alpha has a multitude of options available to him and he is in fact, the prize worth competing for.

There is a downside with type of Game, as these type seems much more prone to relationships based on a volatile nature and extreme degrees of pendulum swings. One day all is perfect, the next day, the entire world is burning down and there is no escape. Keeping one’s emotional Frame is in check is essential to ensuring that what makes this style so successful doesn’t wind up destroying you, making this style a very sharp double-edged sword.

Personality Type: This type of game is seen a lot in the creative fields, especially with musicians, actors and artists (and bartenders, for whatever reason). The creative drive and vision for the world is a very sexy trait, though I’ve noticed that guys that naturally utilize this style are very prone to self-destructive tendencies (excessive drinking and drug abuse, dangerous activities, etc.). Also given to the volatile nature of this dynamic, more aggressive and passionate personalities tend to utilize this game and they enjoy a much larger threshold of forgiveness and tolerance than any of the other Game styles. Guys that are good with words or expressing and conveying ideas become the masters of tapping into women’s hamsters and getting them to spin in overdrive. Paired with truly not giving a fuck, it’s game over.

Examples: Jim Morrison, Prince, Kurt Cobian, Kanye West

If these apply to you you should explore and experiment with mastering your style. If they don’t you can consider utilizing these styles to see if any work well in your favor. I’d be willing to bet that at least 1 of them does.

Rat Pack at Carnegie Hall

 

Survival of the Fittest

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“You realize that we’re the only species that protects the weak?” – Bill Burr

For this post I’m addressing a topic that on the subject of something I find critically important: Personal Accountability. It seems as we become more an more progressive, we stay away from a core principal of life, which is survival of the fittest to “subduing the fit to ensure the weak survive.” This post is more of a pep talk, so please use it for a reminder or motivation go out and live your life to the fullest. Here’s my take on some universal truths and some motivational lines from pop culture to help relate them:

1. Life is not fair. Plan and simple, yet this truth is something we as a society continuously refuse to except and instead attempt to bring the successful down.  Everyone is dealt different cards in life and it’s all matter of how you play them. I know people with every advantage going for them and can’t seem to stay afloat, and I know people from nothing that have built sand achieved greatness. And I’ve seen people with every advantage and they use them brilliantly to expand themselves. Life isn’t fair…and it’s not fair for to everyone, which actually makes it fair.

As our society becomes more feminized, we’ve shifted our focus to protecting the feeling of everyone. Unfortunately a harsh truth is life does not care about your feeling and neither do results. Sports is one of the few places where this truth is allowed to shine, in that there is a winner and a loser, a champion and then everyone else. The idea that we all get trophies for participation sets a false expectation, because in life you may try your best and still fail or come up short. That is how life works. It’s better to fail and use the pain of it for motivation to succeed in the future than try to hide or downplay the simple truth that sometimes our best isn’t good enough. Another great line said by Sean Connery in the Rock (which he was a boss in that role)  sums up this sentiment perfectly:

“You’re best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

Take this to heart: Losers whine and winner get it done. Some days you will lose, and that’s ok, because the greatest teacher is failure. It’s not that you’ve failed but it’s the fact that you wallow in the failure that makes it a horrible thing. But if you fail, learn, pick yourself up and continue to push you will be successful and you will have an appreciation for those wins.

2. You are responsible for your situation. In your life, you have to accept that the 1 factor that that you have absolute control over is you. You can get caught up in headlines, what the latest new from Washington is or a million other things happening in the world. But the fact is, at the end of the day you need to decide what you have to do for you and you have to dedicate yourself to that. It doesn’t matter if you where born into a million dollars are born with 2 cents to your family name.

We presently live in the best time in human history. The world has never been safer, had more access to resources available to people and any thing you could want to know are a few keystrokes and clicks away. The only thing that gets in the way of your success is you. Own it, and watch yourself do wondrous things.

3. No one has it easy. Celebrities, billionaire or other highly successful people don’t have things easy. Everyone in this life has their hardships and issues they have to deal with. Just because you can’t see their struggle does not somehow make your own struggles somehow special. To quote the musician Guru of Gang Starr, “Actions have reactions don’t be quick to judge, you may not know the hardships people don’t speak of.”

Now this is not to downplay the validity of your own struggles, but that doesn’t give you the right to disregard what others are going through. Some people are so poor they have no idea when they will eat again, other people are so rich they are isolated and can’t trust anyone as they have “friends” and family that are continuously trying to take from them. We all have struggles, so it’s best to focus on overcoming them and leave the jealousy of other peoples perceived easiness of life in the wind as it’s not a productive use of your energy or time.

4. “Do or do not, there is no try.” Ironic how words from a movie character (Yoda) can contain some powerful life wisdom. You either find a way to get it done or you find an excuse why you can’t. Plain and simple. If you have a goal, you need to make that your mission in life to get it done, come hell or high water. Now, you can adjust how your approach achieving that goal as go along the way, but at the end of the day it all becomes binary: Did you achieve it, or did you not achieve it?

Only you can answer that question and it’s up to you to hold yourself accountable for that. The best way to stay motivated is to never have a Plan B. Once you have a Plan B you’re subconsciously telling yourself that accepting failure to achieve that goal is an option. A personal mantra I use comes from a brilliant line delivered by John Trivolta in The Taking of Pelgham 123:

“Plan B is enforcing Plan A.”

That line is brilliant because it says he’s dead focused on a singular purpose and all of his being is working to execute it…even his “backup plan” is pushing through to execute and realize the vision of his main objective.

That’s my pep talk for today. I don’t know who you are or your story in life, but it is my sincerest hope that you live the life of your dreams and that you achieve your goals. I believe that we all can achieve greatness together and we won’t succeed by living solely to cut others down. I’ll leave you with another quote from the brilliant Felix Dennis (if you don’t know who he is you should google him), which reflects a core belief I hold:

“A swelling tide raises all boats, including yours.”

Go be the champion of your life.

In this 14 June 1998 file photo, Michael Jordan (L

The Game Grind

Lifting

“Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work. I live by that. You grind hard so you can play hard. At the end of the day, you put all the work in, and eventually it’ll pay off. It could be in a year, it could be in 30 years. Eventually, your hard work will pay off.” – Kevin Hart

One of the often glossed over parts of Game is the Game Grind, which is the process of refining and developing one’s Game. It’s very easy to see folks like Rollo, Goldmund or Christian McQueen and forget that they all had journey’s they started long before any of us ever heard of them. Many will talk about how amazing and easy Game is for them now, but they’ll gloss over all the hard parts of getting to that present point. I myself know this very well.

My background story is pretty funny looking back on it now, but during the time before and just starting to come to awareness it’s pretty wild to see myself now compared to how I was back then. I used to be a Blue Pill as they came, for some of the usual reasons and for some other reasons as well. I’ll detail more about this on a post later, but my father was pretty Blue Pill and we had a lot of tensions and headbutting as my parents went through a divorce when I was a teenager. Determined “not to be just like him” I pushed myself deep into the Blue Pill side of spectrum. I never went White night, but I got pretty close to that point.

I always had a bit of a Red Pill side that would come out in “flashes,” which to my Blue Pill self was too much a reminder of some traits of my Dad I wasn’t fond of at the time, so suppression was my natural way of coping with it. My experiences with women where so Blue Pill dipped I could write a book on it. Writing poems (oh yes, that happened), being the shoulder to cry on, placing the needs of women and telling myself that “I’m a relationship guy” led to a string of disastrous experiences that proved to be extremely fruitless and wasted effort. I had a few successes sprinkled in there, but each time was during a “flash” of my cocky bastard (Red Pill) side.

After some time I began to notice this discrepancy between what I was saying and thinking vs what actually worked when it came to women. Noticing this, I began experimenting more and more with what was working, and them came across rather simultaneously Rollo Tomassi and Christian McQueen’s blogs. From there is was game over as I fully dove into the Red Pill and rapidly absorbed as much as I could. Over the next 4 years, I’m at the point that I am at today which is light years ahead of where I was.

That’s a high-level view of my story, but the bigger point I want to make is that every man has to start somewhere in his journey and if you’re just starting our or decades in, you still have to grind and refine your game. Starting out getting a phone number was a huge deal and maybe getting a kiss was the highlight of my month. Fast forward after many years of trial, error, learning and refinement, I can get a one night stand or same day bang while doubling the contacts in my phone book. I’m not trying to brag or stoke my ego by saying how great I am. What I’m getting at is that where I am today is the result of many years of grinding and learning after being frustrated with where I was. And like many of you, it’s going back on memory lane is funny now, despite the fact that it was a nightmare to experience back then.

One of the biggest things that gave me the shock to the system I needed was losing my virginity to my “dream girl.” I was raised pretty religiously so it I was 26 when I lost my virginity, though I had done everything up to that point but stick it in. I’d gotten blowjobs, finger-banged girls and played with boobs before then, so I had some experience, but I always stopped myself before going too far. But when I was 26 I finally hooked up with this girl that I had met when i was 25 and I had thought she was so special and unique, all of which where complete pedestal-level views of who she really was, which I saw a little bit too but overlooked because I saw the potential of the situation. Fast forward a year later when she’s out my house and basically just giving it away, when I was having sex with her I experienced one of the most empty experiences I’ve ever had, and the kicker is part of me knew that’s how it would be going in. I may detail the experience in a later post, because it’s a story almost too crazy to believe (I’ll just say it was really spiritual in a good and bad way).

After that experience it was another year before I had sex again, but the second time was a much different scenario and mental place, and I give this experience the credit for my desire to learn that sent me on my Red Pill Quest. I was at a club to celebrate a birthday of a friend of mine that I had known for a few years. She and I had a mutual friend so we’d hung out a quite a few times over the years but I always just thought of her as a friend, even though she was a pretty cute, tall blonde that had some of the same interests as me. Anyways, it was her birthday and she was wearing a sexy lack dress and so we went out on the dance floor. While dancing with her I had a thought of “I bet I could make out with her right now” that popped into my head, and so I went with it and we started making out. We eventually wound up back at her friend’s place since she lived on the other side of town but he lived in West Hollywood, which was close to the club, since she already made arrangements to crash at his place.

Her friend (a guy), her and me get back to his place and he has a small 1 bed room apartment. after 5 minutes of conversation, this guy pulls one of the greatest moves in bro-code history and says “We’ll I’m tried so I’m going to pass out.” He then “passes out” on his couch in the living room. I take the birthday girl into his bedroom, shut the door, toss her on the bed, and proceed to have some great birthday sex until the following morning. That expedience was made possible by following my budding Red Pill instinct as well as a little Bang-It-Forward help from her friend, but that’s where the journey started for me.

If you think it was all flowers, roses, and quick bangs you’d be terribly mistaken. The following years were filled with missed opportunities, bad Blue Pill habits that sabotaged me and flat out hardcore rejections from many girls. But I persisted on and now I’m at a point where my Red Pill knowledge and Game are in harmony. But am I resting on my laurels? Hell no. Why? Because there’s always something to learn and there’s always room to improve. Even today I get rejected, learn a new technique and find new experiences I hadn’t had before (Like going on a date to place that turned out to be a swingers club). The grind continues but I find joy in it because it makes me better and as helped me to help others. Yes, there are some nights where I am on fire and can do no wrong. And then there are nights where I am off and literally cannot buy a phone number. No matter how good you get you will never be 100% all the time. But by keeping the grind going, you can improve your consistency to get it as high as you can and you can see how far you have come along in your journey when you look back. I’ll always be grateful to the Rep Pill for giving me the tool set and vision to understand the nature of relationships, which has given me the freedom to navigate them in a way that I determine. And I’m also grateful for my Blue Pill experiences, because they’ve kept me humbled as I progress along my Red Pill path.

So whether you are just starting out or are well season-veteran, always remember that there is a grind involved in the processes. It’s not always fun, pretty or happy, but it’s the work that it takes to maximize your potential. and always remember that everyone who you see at the top of their game never started out that way, they had to go through a grind to get there.

Wake up. Grind. Rest. Repeat.