Appreciation Vs Value

Scales

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” –  Albert Einstein

One of the fundamental differences between the Alpha and Beta men that blue Pill men have a hard time differentiating is that one is appreciated, while the other is valued. For the Blue Pill man, appreciation = value, when this is not the case.

Appreciation

Appreciation is a nice thing to have on the surface, because it means people have noticed your efforts and are expressing recognition of it. The problem with appreciation is that the ball pretty stops at acknowledgement, but it seldom leads to action. This is why Blue Pill men are susceptible to the false sense of validation from appreciation, because they see that their investment and actions have been recognized so they feel that corresponding action is just around the corner.

What they fail to see is that appreciation is essentially a few nice words and a pat on the back, and that’s it. Hence why they tend to be orbiters of women that appreciate them for who they are but won’t have sex with them. They falsely assume that because these women appreciate them being different from other guys that eventually these women will come to act on that appreciation. But appreciation is an expression of gratitude, not an action of gratitude.

During my Blue Pill days I easily fell into that trap, as I had many female friends I was interested in dating. Doing the typical Blue Pill things I often received the “compliments” of “You’re a great guy, someone will be lucky to have you” or “I appreciate you as a person, don’t ever change.” In the beginning it was easy to keep on the same path because if people saw how different I was, eventually someone would act on it, right? But eventually the wool was pulled from my eyes as I noticed that what what people said the appreciated didn’t give me any success, and when I did a few things to break that mold, my success rate started improve dramatically. I suddenly realized that “appreciation” was a passive sentiment, not an actionable one.

Value

When a man is valued, he is a person worth going the extra mile and competing for. People will go out of their way to ensure that a man who is valued is happy, content and appeased. A man of value will enjoy the fullest of what people really have to offer, not just their gratitude. People will also make sacrifices for the sake of value as well. Value is an actionable state and you will want to take people at their actions and never their words.

I vividly remember when I had to breakup with my last ex girlfriend. She was a great person and actually was an excellent girlfriend, however, there where two major issues. First, what we wanted out of life was very different at the time, mainly she wanted to have kids very soon and I didn’t. Secondly, I am mildly allergic to dogs and she owned 3 of them, so there was always a bit of a hurdle. I knew calling it off was the right thing to do for the both of us, though it wasn’t an easy decision to make. During our conversation while I outlined those reasons, and I distinctly remember my ex offering to give up her pets for adoption. Now take a moment to think on that. She was willing to sacrifice her pets, which as many of you know how much women love their pets, which she’d also owned for years before even dating me in order to continue to our relationship. That’s an example of being valued. If she didn’t value you, she would have told me “see you later” and shown me the door. But she was willing to do whatever it took to keep me, and that’s a lesson I will not forget anytime soon.

That’s what makes the Red Pill a very empowering tool, is that one gets a much better sense of the how people actually operate. It helps you see appreciation for what it is, a carrot on the stick to keep you moving in one direction instead allowing you to see the entire carrot patch behind you.

To sum it all up

Be a person of value. If you find yourself being “appreciated,” then you’ve got some more work to do. This applies not only to your dating life but your professional life as well. How many employees are “appreciated” and then kick to the curb once their usefulness in done. A truly valued employee is someone that companies will try to poach and compete for and they will make large accommodations to keep them in the organization and happy. Entrepreneurship is the true way to go if you want to get ahead, but that’s another topic entirely and the point remains that if you presently have a job, you should test the waters to see if your company appreciates or values you. You should also do the same in all of your relationships, be them romantic, family or friends. Actions speak louder than words it’s always good to know who appreciates you will just stand back with a smile vs who values you and will take action on it. Know the difference.

Cheers.

Female Friends

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L’art De La Féminité (The Art of Femininity)

Jill Hennessy

“Femininity can be a powerful thing.” – Jillian Rose Banks

This post is a special one, in that it’s not discussing theory or field reports. Sometimes in the Red Pill community everyone gets so caught up in highlighting the negative or frustrating aspects of women, that all of the beauty and wonderment of them gets lost in the shuffle. This post is a shout out to femininity, to all the women who embrace it and to the women who know the art of it.

In the modern world, the art of femininity has become an increasingly rare commodity. Feminism and the betafaction of men has done a lot of damage to men with the Blue Pill, but it’s also done a lot of damage to women in their ability to express what truly is an art from. Like masculinity which is an art into itself, femininity has be chastised and turned on itself in an attempt to warp it into a perverted version of masculinity. But where there is oppression and attack, there is resistance, and prosperity.

Shout out to women who understand and embody the lost art of femininity. Women who look feminine and in their own unique way express their femininity through their actions. To the girls that know how to rock a stunning dress, know to utilize their feminine charm to create a sense of mystery and intrigue, to the women who know how to be a proper counter balance to men without trying to become men. Shout out to the women who grind right along with men in their own hustle rather than solely use them, who know how to blow our minds in the bedroom, and know how to a take care of themselves. Shout out to women who know how to cook, how to appreciate fine dining and how to make our days a bit brighter. And a big shout out to girls that are into threesomes, because that’s just awesome.

Women are a compliment to a man’s life, never the sole focus of it. But they can be a massive compliment with a very capable woman. In order to experience that as a man, you yourself must be a man that can bring it out of a woman. If she’s a Ferrari but you only know how to drive Honda Civics, then you need to get some driving school in and learn how to master that Ferrari to get the most out of it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, women can be incredibly powerful, amazing and dynamic experiences. One of the great joys in life is coming across a truly feminine woman, who exudes and radiates it in every way. You represent the best that womankind has to offer.

Cheers.

Hannah Ferguson for Ellipse Serenity Lingerie lookbook (Summer 2013)

 

 

5 Reasons to Have Female Friends

Female Friends

“I think there’s something to the old saying that women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex. And love is really just a word we use to describe a close bond, or relationship, between two people. Men have been programmed to want sex, so they do whatever is necessary to be in a relationship with a woman. And a woman is programmed to want the stability and (financial) security of a relationship, so she offers the man what he wants: sex.” ― Oliver Markus, Why Men And Women Can’t Be Friends

The topic of female friends is always an interesting debate within the Red Pill community. Some say never have them, others say it’s ok to have one or two. Personally, I find this topic to be pretty interesting and I have my own thoughts on the subject. As a Red Pill man I think it’s essential to have a core group of Red Pill (or close to it) male friends. As for female friends,  I think it’s not only possible but it’s important to have them as well. Below are my top 5 reasons why:

5. They provide first-hand validation of Red Pill truths. Once you become Red-Pill aware, you can’t unsee the truths it holds. This will be extremely evident in all of your relationships, especially those with pre-existing female friends. But, what this does allow is for you to go “go behind enemy lines” so to speak, in that you get a first hand view into confirming these truths for yourself. Suddenly, things you used to take at face value you can suddenly see the mechanisms behind the words or action, especially when your female friends discuss dating.  It’s always good to get a live reminder of how women operate so that way you can see just how Blue Pill men get used by women, but also frustrate women at the same time. You also get to see confirmations of how Alpha and Red Pill men are perceived and treated and these first hand observations confirm things in ways far more meaningfully than a forum post. So to sum it up, having female friends is a great way to get field confirmation of Red Pill truths so you can better understand them, learn about them, and then apply them for your own means.

4. They can be great bait. Female friends, especially attractive ones, are excellent bait, in the sense that they are perfect for arousing the curiosity of other females. Once you learn mastery over not being phased by a woman’s beauty and you adopt the abundance mentality, then being friends with attractive women is very easy. And an unintended perk of that is if you invite these female friends out to a fun venue, say a bar, club, event or even just the park; all other females in the vicinity will be instantly curious. I’ve been approached by many women when I am out with a female friend or several, and the first thing they want to know if “what’s your situation?” Having attractive female friends creates a rudimentary form of social proof. And when it comes to nightlife it makes the relationship very symbiotic, in that your female friends get to enjoy your presence and check out cool places, and you get to have instant social proof you can leverage to pickup other girls. Now remember your Red Pill principals, on having strong Frame will allow you to fully maximize this. If you’re that guy that’s with a bunch of female friends but you have no Frame and project a Beta vibe, then you’re going to be perceived as a girlfriend yourself. So the 2 big things to remember are keep your Frame strong and the more attractive your friends are, the better it the situation will be for you.

3. They can keep your plates in check. Another perk that female friends can provide, especially very attractive ones, is that they can keep your plates in check. We’ve all been in that situation where a plate gets a little too comfortable and starts trying up the shit test ante. Having solid Frame keeps that in check, but also doing a hangout with a plate and an attractive female friend works effectively in creating that sense of light dread. It’s a very live reminder of “I’m a man who keeps the company of attractive women, so I don’t need you as my sole source company.” Girls are very competitive, so playing that nature against itself works very effectively in your favor. And if you’re still a little Blue Pill and think that this is somehow morally manipulative, you need to understand that women are naturally far better players than men and are playing their own game. So you either need to be superior at your own game or find yourself trapped within the confines of her game.

2. They can be friends with benefits. If you have your Frame in check and are a high value man, then you’d be amazed at what situations you can create for yourself. Friends with benefits is always a great situation to have, and in order to have that situation, you need to first be friends. If you stick to your Red Pill principals and work an developing yourself and your Frame, then you’ll be able to foster these situations much more frequently at your discretion. The more experience you have the women, the better you’ll be with them, to them and for them.

1. It’s just good networking. One of my favorite quotes is “Life is a contact sport. The more people you contact, the better you’ll do. Having female friends is good networking, as with any friend it can lead to other romantic pursuits with other friends they have, experiences at at events, or even career opportunities. The key is to ensure that if you’re going to have a friendship, with anyone, they are a person of good character that adds value to your life, just like you will add value to theirs. Everything I listed above only works if you are a man of value who provides some type of value. If you’re just looking to be a leech or a taker without giving anything in return, then you need to do some seriously self evaluation and turn that ship around.

All in all having female friends can provide many perks and also helps give a balanced perspective on life. Remember, the purpose of the Red Pill isn’t to hate women or be anti women, it’s to help men better understand them so we can be the “men who other women want to fuck, and other men want to be.” If you hate women, then you’ve completely missed the point.

Thinking Man

The Time Of Kings

Spartan King

“A King needs a Kingdom to to King, not a Queen. Remember that.” – Unknown

As western society becomes more and more feminized, there is a unintended advantage born from this paradigm. Now has never been a easier time to establish yourself from the heard of boys as a man, and not just any man; a king.

“A King needs a Kingdom to to King, not a Queen. Remember that.”

This quote rings so true I’m posting it twice. This is a core Red Pill idea that most men will not embrace but will run from because of the burden it represents: We are responsible for our own  lives and what we get out of them. A woman does not define you and you need no other external validation to define yourself either. You are a king, the time is now to master your kingdom.

But what is my kingdom and how do I master it, you ask? Take a look:

Your Body Is Your Kingdom – Master it, exercise it, sculpt and shape it. Excercise and stay healthy. Many a man was stunted his potential by allowing his body to be soft and his health to be poor.

Your Mind Is Your Kingdom – Take care what you put into it and who you allow to have influence in it. Put positive things that will inspire and help you grow into it, and only allow people who add positive value to have influence on it. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose them wisely.

Your Relationships Are Your Kingdom – You are the one in the driver’s seat of your relationships, so manage and led them wisely. If a relationship is a negative or counter productive to you, it s your job to remove it. Failure to do so can cost you time, sanity, and much, much more. All relationships, from family to business to romantic relationships are under the domain of your kingdom, especially the romantic ones. Take the lead and remember, you are the king, the queen does not define your kingdom or the status of your kingship.

Your Time Is Your Kingdom – Manage it relentlessly and guard it jealous. Of all the commodities in this world, it it the one thing you can never get back. Make it count.

Your Life Is Your Kingdom – You only have one go at it and only you can live your life. So live your life on your own terms. Life the life you want and dream about. Live your life as if your life depends on it. It does.

There’s your pep-talk for the day. Go out and conquer your kingdom.

Battle Charge

5 Sex Tips To Up Your Sex Game

Sex Tips

“Is sex dirty? Only when it’s being done right.” ― Woody Allen

For this post I wanted to share a few tips that can help take your intimacy and sex game to the next level. A large part of sex is mental, and many of these tips are rooted in stimulating the mental game to make your physical game that much more powerful.

Let me get this out of the way and say that I am talking about activities between consenting adults. I know for most of you that have some sense this is apparent, but for those of you that might misinterpret my meaning, I only advocate consensual activities between adults. Now that that’s out of the way, on to the juicy content of this post.

5. The “Tantric Pause.” One idea from the Tantra is the concept of delayed gratification. The reasoning is that by delaying the gratification, the reward will be much more intense and pleasurable once received. Taking this idea, one thing I have found that makes make out sessions and sex much more intense is during heavy kissing or sex, to go in as if I am going to kiss the girl, but then stopping frozen when my nose is just about to touch hers. This creates a break in the action as well as a tease scenario, and by being able to hold still while looking directly in her eyes, it builds excitement, connection and anticipation. The best part is that it usually takes about 5 second before the girl becomes so overwhelmed with excitement and tension that she passionately will grab me and kiss me, allowing us to resume the activities with the passion amplified. She lost control and I didn’t; which not only shows the power of her desire for me; but also keeps the balance of Frame in my favor.

This is also a great display of discipline, as you will be demonstrating that even while having passionate, bed-breaking sex, you are still master of your domain and have absolute self control to be able to pause sex at will, just because you can. It shows you possess dominance, not only over her pleasure but also over your own, and that is a man that truly is Alpha and worth competing for.

4. Getting “lost” in a kiss. This is a passionate tease tactic that is the inverse of the Tantric Pause. This is something I usually do when saying goodbye, and is very useful when the relationship hasn’t been consummated yet. What this involves is during a goodbye make out session, I begin by being firm yet gentle with my kissing. Then, after a few moments, a sudden flash of hot and heavy gets introduced as I firmly squeeze her body into mine while giving her a long, hard, passionate kiss. I then immediately pull back with a smile while looking in her eyes.

What this does is give her a brief flash of raw, unfiltered passion which leaves her wanting to see how she can extract more of it from you. Also, it allows you to create the Frame of “being caught up in the moment” and allows her to get sucked deeper into the moment as well. The key is to be firm but gentle, passionate, but in control. The illusion is that you’ve temporarily lost control, but by pulling back it creates a bit of doubt as you “catch yourself.” This is a great note to end an encounter on and as they say in show business; “always leave them wanting more.”

3. The “out of the blue” ass-smack. This one has been discussed elsewhere plenty of times, but I love employing it so much that I had to share my thoughts. I only use this with women that I have had sex with. Mostly because after sex it feels way more natural, but also I feel that once you’ve had sex, this maneuver is best suited the present dynamic of the relationship. Essentially, this is giving a girl a firm, playful smack right on the ass, usually followed with a smirk and a wink, and can be done after sex or just hanging out, usually around the house.

This action reinforces the playful dynamic of the relationship as well as shows you’re not afraid to display some dominance every now and again. It’s like a subtle reminder of “that ass belongs to you” which is a playful way to play the conqueror. Hence why I only do this after I have had sex with a girl. To me, doing so before hand is not authentic in that the terrain hasn’t been conquered yet.

2. The “Villain’s Choke Hold.” This move is a next-level power move that if done right will show your dominance, raw physical strength and can drive a girl wild with passionate lust for you. The Villain’s Choke Hold is pretty much what it sounds like. While having passionate sex; and not hum drum “love making” because this maneuver will be way out of place; it’s best to do this with girl on top as it makes logistics easier. It can be done from missionary or if you’re fingering her to make her squirt, but for the sake of explaining this I will use the example of the girl being on top, in the cowgirl position. So, while having passionate sex with the girl on top facing me, I will suddenly sit fully up and place my hand around her throat. I will then firmly, but gently (remember, control is everything) squeeze to lightly choke her while I pull her face about an inch from mine and I stare intensely into her eyes, much like many villains do in movies where’ they are choking out some poor soul. After a few seconds I’ll continue to passionately have sex, usually pulling her in for a deep kiss first.

This move is a total show of raw dominance that works on several levels. First, on a primal level, it shows that your physical strength is literally capable of crushing her. She will be able to physically feel your power in way she hasn’t experience it before. That danger factor makes things more exciting and intense, and also shows that you have the physical capability to exert more force and could use this same force to defend her. Secondly, it’s a very overt showing your dominance and is a reminder that you can be an untamed wild man at times. This fierceness works as it shows your are the conqueror, not the conquered. Lastly, most men don’t have the balls to pull a move like this because they “don’t want to be even slightly rough with their delicate flower.” This move show’s you’re a man that takes what he wants, when he wants and is beholden only to his Frame and knows better than to put her on a pedestal and treat her like an equal sexual being.

Usually after doing this move the girl I am having sex with get a lot wetter and even more turned on, and in a few cases this move brought them to the edge of an orgasm and it only took a few strokes after to finish the job.

1. The “Jedi Breath Trick.” I call this one the “Jedi Breathe Trick” because it involves the girl having her eyes closed and having to rely on her sense of touch to feel you, much like a Jedi closing their eyes in order to “feel the force.” In order to do this, I will either use a sleeping eye cover or a tie (anything that can act as a blindfold will do) and cover the girl’s eyes. Then, while she is laying on her back naked, I will bring my face about an inch away from her body, and then I will exhale a hot, deep breath over her body. I usually start around the neck or stomach, and then I move my face all over her body as I exhale. I never do it in her face as that is not sexy, but what I usually do is run my breath over her body, starting around her breasts and then making my way down to her vagina. From there I will get between her legs, and then continue to run my breath between her inner things and vagina, before focusing my breather on her vagina, and eventually finishing with some licking or kissing that leads into eating her out.

What’s great about this technique is that it puts you in a dominate role as you are in full control of what happens next. And since her eyes are closed, she has no idea what you’re going to do next. By using your breath, you can let her “feel you” without physically touching her, as your warmth from your breath makes a soothing sound and the movement of your head moves the warmth to various parts of her body. Her not being able to see increases her anticipation as well as intensifies her sense touch, so she can experience a heighten sense of awareness.

Another great thing about this technique is that is can be combined with other things, such as she can be tied up to the bed as well or you can finger her while you breath over her breasts or do as I do and transition it into oral sex. A word of caution, sometimes a girl will be ticklish or a little overwhelmed by this, so she may squirm and writhe around uncontrollably and unexpectedly. I’d suggest starting around the neck or breasts and making your way south slowly, just to see how her body reacts. But the girls I have been with and myself have had a lot of fun with this, and several of them got so turned on they actually had orgasms when I moved my breath across their bodies down to their vaginas and focused my breath on their vaginas for a minute.

Final Thought

Please remember to excise control and be safe. Sex is a fun and amazing experience, but you can take things to far and you can physically injure yourself or other person. Also remember that sex is about consent, so if you try any of these and the person doesn’t respond positively to them, then you know this particular thing doesn’t do it for them. Keep it consensual and use your judgement. Try one or all of these out and see how they fit into your style and can impact your sex game.

Go out, live life and have fun doing it my friends.

Couple having sex on a bed at home

The Alpha Wingman

This guy

“You can be my wingman anytime” – Ice Man, Top Gun

Sometimes being an Alpha in a situation is not about using your Frame for your own benefit, but sometimes it’s about using it to help others. This post covers just such a situation that happened recently on a night out with a friend.

Field Report

I was hosting a friend of mine from out of town. He’s a young guy, in his mid twenties and is usually more of the quite and shy type at first, but opens up more once he’s comfortable in a situation. I decide to take him out for a Saturday night of fun and we go to this restaurant and lounge that I frequent in a hip and busy part of town. I like the place because it has a great atmosphere and energy, great food, great drinks, and is close to a lot of other places. It’s also frequented by many beautiful and diverse women, which makes it the prime location for a proper night out.

We get to the venue and go inside for a round of drinks. Since I frequent this place, all of the staff knows me, from the General Manager to the bar-backs, so I’m being greeted and am introducing my friend to them. After hanging out for about 30 minutes, I spot a pair of girls sitting at the end of the bar. One is blonde, with a curvy figure, and the other is a redhead with bright blue eyes and a petite figure. Both girls look to be in their mid thirties, but I know my friend has a thing for older women. I point out the redhead, which is the type of girl he usually goes for and said “I think I found someone you should go meet.” My buddy responded by saying “I’m not sure what the move is,” and so at this point I knew that I would need to take command of the situation.

“Follow my lead,” I told him, as I walked over to the girls. As I was making my way over, someone bumped me so my drink spilled a little onto my hand, so when I got up to the girls I asked if they could pass me a napkin since they where sitting next to them.

“That you for that act of bar-decency,” I said. “The bar is a lawless place and most of the time people just act insane.” Both girls laughed and then I quickly introduced myself and my friend to them. “So what brings you guys out tonight?” I inquired. “Well, we’re out to celebrate my cousin’s birthday,” said the blonde as she pointed to the redhead. “Well happiest of birthdays to you!” I said to the redhead as I gave her an enthusiastic high-five. “How did you guys know to come here?” I asked. “Where were at another bar, but there where no guys so we had heard of this place and came here.”

From there I knew we had a golden scenario. A birthday, which is a reason to celebrate. Check. They had come to this venue specially for guys. Double check. All that was left was to take the reins of the situation.

“You ladies came to the right place,” I said. “We are going to ensure that you have a proper birthday celebration.” I raised my glass and all four of us toasted to the birthday girl. We had some small talk, about what we all did and it urns out the blonde works for a Hollywood agency and the redhead is a college professor. As it turns out, they both had recently moved into the this particular area of town and they were looking to explore it more. They liked the current venue because the redhead leaved about a mile away from it. I asked them if they had been to this other lounge that is close by that I frequent, to which they replied they had hear good things but never had been. “Finish up those drinks, we’re moving out!” I said as I finished my beverage and then called for my tab.

The 2 girls, my friend and myself all made our together to the lounge I had mentioned, and I texted the General Manager there who is a buddy of min that I was en route. I got a “Fo sho playa” response back from the GM and told the ladies that they where going to like this spot a lot. This lounge is a bit of hot spot and sure enough, there was a large line out front as we arrived. I lead the group right up to the front and gave the door guy I know a solid handshake and then a hug to the girl that helps run the door as well. We then strolled right past the line and proceeded to the lounge area. As soon as we got in my buddy who is the GM greeted me and said “It’s a packed night but we have a table set aside for you. Enjoy my man.” The Assistant GM then lead us through the sea of people to a table and we got situated with myself next to the blond facing my friend and the redhead on the other side.

“What just happened?” The redhead asked. “We’re celebrating your birthday, so we are going to do it properly,” I told her. We then ordered some drinks and I made the promise that we would find birthday cake for the birthday girl to ensure the night was flawless. Our drinks arrived and my friend worked his game on the redhead as they got a little more cozy and I chatted up the blonde. After about 15 minutes, I then told the blonde that she should checkout the rest of the lounge and I took her on a tour of the space to give my friend and the redhead some 1 on 1 time.

After the tour of the of the lounge, which deliberately took 20 minutes, we rejoined the table. Once it hit 1 am, I told the group “Time for a field trip,” so we paid our tab then I took us all to a convenience store to look for some type of cake to act as a birthday cake. Since no cake could be found, we grabbed a bunch of peanut butter M&M’s, which is the birthday girl’s favorite candy. I also grabbed a bottle of wine and some matches. I paid for all of the item and then as we walked out of the store I turned to the redhead.

“So we’re going back to your place to continue the celebrations since it’s around the corner? My place is about 20 minutes from here.” She paused for a minute and then said “Ok! I wasn’t planning to have folks over, so I will need to tidy up for a quick minute before anyone comes in.” I smiled and said “Whatever the birthday girl desires.” We made our way to her place, which only took 5 minutes, and then both girls went upstairs to her place to tidy it up. My friend then said “Man, thank you for wingmanning, this has been great!” I turned to him and said “Ok this is how it’s going to go down. We’re going to head up there, have some wine and celebrate for about 30 minutes. Then people are going to get tired, at which point I will take the blonde back to her place and you’ll be good to go.” My friend nodded his head excitedly, and after a few more minutes the girls came back down to let us know we could head in.

We all got up stairs to continue the birthday theme of the evening by finding a few leftover candles and lighting them with the matches I had picked up. We all held glasses of wine and some peanut butter M&M’s while we sang Happy Birthday to the redhead. We then paired off and got settled on the couches and began discussing random topics, from different us cities to movies. Sure enough, after about 1 glass of wine and 30 minutes, the blonde said “I’m starting to get sleepy.” I responded by saying, “Same here, it is pretty late.” I then stood up and said, “We’ll I think I am going to head off,” I then turned to the blonde. “You’re an awesome amount of fun, I’ll give you a lift back to your place so you don’t have to call an Uber.” “Are you sure?” She asked. “Not a big deal,” I replied. “Plus I live in that direction anyway and can hop the freeway back home.” “Ok,” the blonde replied. The redhead then looked at me and asked “What about him?” as she looked at my friend. “No worries,” I said, “I’ll give you to some time. I’ll come back and pick him up after I make sure your friend gets home safely.” Of course, what I was thinking was “I’ll come back and pick him up tomorrow morning,” and I proceeded to say goodbye to the redhead and was quickly followed by the blonde.

The blonde and I then left the redhead and my friend and we proceeded to drive to her place on the other side of town. We got to her street and there was no where to park, so I threw on my hazard lights and prepared to say goodbye to the blonde. The blonde then looked at me and said “I should text my cousin so she knows I got back safe.” Knowing this might cause a potential cock-block, as it might imply that I would be en route back to pick up my friend, responded by leaning in close and then making out with the blonde. After making out  and playing with her large breast for a few minutes, I pulled back and said “Sucks there is no parking.” The blonde gave me a naughty look and said, “You can come inside next time.” Sure enough, a week later I would in every sense of the phrase. But that night, she returned home and I jetted back to my pad to get some much earned sleep. The following day I texted my buddy in the morning and picked him up from the redheads place.

This story is a bit of a longer one, but it is full of some key tips and ideas for you to take away.

Takeaways

6. Having venues locked down is a huge plus. Nothing can kill your momentum faster than dealing with hangups at venues, be it trying to get in or trying to grab drinks and find a place to be comfortable. Having a venue that you have locked down not only makes logistics silky smooth but it also enforces your Frame as a high value individual. Like in this example, having the staff know me at the first venue gave me social proof and boosted my status. Then, moving to the next venue, that status and Frame were further reinforced by bypassing the line and then getting a table instantly in a busy place. This also had the added effect of making the transitional logistics smooth and easy, which makes the impression of status high and well as keeps the momentum building and going, rather than hitting a wall.

 

5. Logistics are half the battle. When I am out and am suggesting other places to checkout, I ensure that they are logistically easy and close to each other. a long travel time can kill your momentum. Doing recon before and during your night is key. Since I frequent the area, I have great knowledge of all venues and their relative proximity to each other. Also, when it came up during the conversation that the redhead lived very close to where we were, that made her place the ideal go-to stop to continue the night once the bars closed.

 

4. Frame is a powerful tool. In this particular night, I used Frame to be the best wingman I could be. From the initial approach to taking the group from one lounge to the other, then to a convenience store and then back to one of the girl’s houses, that was only made possible because I defined and held the Frame. I used the theme statement of “It’s your birthday, we’re going to celebrate it properly” as the base that Frame operated from and it made for an adventure that everyone else was more than happy to be a part of.

3. Don’t ask. Subtly command. Part of Frame and game is learning to subtly give commands and not go about it by asking in a Beta way. What I mean by this is when I said “Finish up those drinks, we’re moving out!” I was giving the command of “finish your drinks, we are going to relocate to another venue,” rather than asking “Hey do you guys want to go see this other place?” By taking command of the situation I was able to hold Frame and steer the direction of the night. Other cases of this from that night were when I said “Time for a field trip,” and then leading the group to a convenience store, and then once we where done at the store saying to the Redhead “So we’re going back to your place to continue the celebrations since it’s around the corner?” I was dictating how the night was going to go, and then last example of that was near the end when we were hanging at the redhead’s place and I stated to the blonde “You’re an awesome amount of fun, I’ll give you a lift back to your place so you don’t have to call an Uber.” I was telling her not to call an Uber, I will be taking her home. Now there is a fine line, you don’t have to be an asshole in a commanding way, and sometimes you’ll get some push back to subtle commands. That’s fine and comes with the territory. NEVER FORCE ANYONE TO DO SOMETHING THEY DON”T WANT TO DO. I know most of you reading this already know that, but for those of you that might miss my meaning, I am not advocating forcing people into situations without their consent. Commands establish reinforce your Frame in an authentic way and is a great way to test how well people fall into it.

2. Know how to follow the lead. Nothing is more frustrating that doing a lot of setup to get the baton to the next runner and then to have them drop it half a second into you trying to pass it on. My friend did an excellent job of following my lead and playing off of me, so the combination was extremely effective. You can be Alpha and have Frame by following the lead of another person’s strong Frame. This can help establish your own Frame with a particular person or group and makes for an effective 1 – 2 punch. If you’re rolling out with a wingman and you guys can’t play off each other or follow each other’s leads as needed, you success rate is going to plummet, so make sure you both can either take the lead or follow the lead.

1. Have fun. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the outcome that we forget to take a step back and just enjoy the ride. One of the best highlights of the night for me was being able to have a fun time while helping a friend run his game on a girl he was attracted to. But all of us had a really fun time as we took the theme of “proper birthday celebrations” and ran with it. From the first venue to the second then the convenience store and then finally at the redhead’s house, the entire night was a fun time we all participated in. If you focus on having fun, then whether your get laid or not at the end of the night you’ll have a great time regardless. And as a bonus, having that attitude usually gets you laid more.

The More You Know

Un(but totally)conditional Love

2 faced

Hypergamy doesn’t care about relational equity” – Rollo Tomassi

This past weekend I had a very fascinating late-into-the-night conversation that inspired this post. I was invited to a BBQ with a very good friend of mine and it was being hosted by several friends of his. After the dinner and several people left, the remaining group was me, my friend , and two married couples, including the hosts. We were enjoying dessert and some fun conversation, and at some point the conversation turned to dating and relationships. For some background context, my friend was in a 5 year relationship (married for 3) but now is going through a divorce. The host couple has been married for about 2 years and together for 4 years, and the other couple has been together for 15 years and married for 8. The age ranges of everyone (myself included) are from 31 to 38.

So with that background context in mind, it’s quite amazing how much of an eye opener having Red Pill awareness can be. Through the course of the conversation when I posed the question of what makes relationships work and last I got the usual, Blue Pill responses of “it takes hard work and communication” and when I inquired why dating is challenging today the responses of “men are intimidated by strong independent women” and “they don’t act like men” were what I received. If you assumed that the women where the ones leading these responses, you’d be correct. If you also assumed that the men unquestioningly complied with these responses, you’d also be correct.

As the conversation progressed inquiries about why I am single came up, and the usual comments of “you haven’t met The One yet” and “you need that One person who…” came up multiple times. It’s really fascinating just how ingrained the idea of “The One” is in our culture, and how people approach relationships from the view point without question. Since I was being given the Blue Pill sales pitch, I decided to pose a question to bring up some Red Pill awareness to the conversation while framing it as “food for thought.” I had mentioned earlier in the conversation that men are more romantically optimistic in their approach to relationships while women are more pragmatic (hypergamic in reality, but I had to be softer in phrasing that). I noted that both are complimentary in balance but in order to have it one must understand those natures. The conversation reached a point when we were talking about how relationships go in waves, with highs and lows. There are times when things are going great and then there are times when things are going bad. Fair enough, that is true with any relationship. So to illustrate my point on the differences of how men and women approach love, I posed this question:

“How long do things have to be consistently bad before you know it’s time to end the marriage?

The 15 year couple answered the question right away, but with very different replies. The husband immediately responded that loyalty comes above everything, and that one needs to honor their commitments. His wife responded right after him with “One year.” This dichotomy is the perfect example of how men and women approach love. Men approach love from standpoint of we always look for the potential of what things can be and we will move heaven and earth to hold onto that idea. In the case of the husband the thought of ending his marriage wasn’t even on is radar. Loyalty, and a sense of honor binding him to that loyalty means that no matter how bad things get and they stay, he’s in it until “death do us part.” Women on the other hand are much more pragmatic in their approach to love, it’s very much conditional. If the conditions remain favorable or good, all is well. Should those conditions change and become unfavorable or bad for a certain period of time, as many men find out the hard way, love does not conquer all and suddenly the relationship is in danger of ending or is already over. So while for the husband loyalty is what matters until death, for the wife the conditions are if the situation is bad for a year, it’s time to end things. For all the talk of “hard work, communication and loyalty,” the wife had a ready-fire specific time table while her husband didn’t even conceive of terms limits.

Now, this example isn’t to expose women as traitors or opportunists that are always waiting for a chance to jump ship. The purpose of this example is to highlight how men and women approach love differently so you know the reality of any relationship you choose to pursue. Many men are completely blind-sided by the women they are in relationships with because they do not understand that women approach love from a conditional point of view. If the conditions change, so will her attention and affections. For women it’s not malicious, it’s an evolved social survival mechanism. Throughout the history of marriage, women have had their well being, provisioning, and survival directly tied to the condition of their husband. Only since the 1960’s has that social situation changed, but centuries of evolved psychology still keeps the underlying motivations in place. Ask many ex-professional athletes about “unconditional love” when they played sports vs after.

Men tend to project their attributes onto women, especially in the “equalist movement” of the modern era, without seeing the fallacy of it. Men, being less pragmatic and more idealistic, approach love unconditionally. Take for example the ultimate Hollywood example of this, the movie Pretty Woman. For many women this movie makes the list for top 3 most romantic films of all time, if not at the top spot. But the story is about a very rich man who falls in love with and marries a prostitute. With the way men approach love, all past indiscretions can be completely forgiven and overlooked because he sees the “real her,” which his idealized version of her potential. If Hollywood came out with a movie called “Handsome Man” which was the exact same story but with the roles reversed, where a successful and rich woman marries a gigolo, it’d be one of the most reviled and mocked films ever made. Women love this movie because it highlights a very positive masculine trait, which is the fact that men approach love in a unconditional sense, which means that despite any past or current indiscretions, men can look past that, even though women do not afford men the same luxury when it comes to their approach to love.

As a man, it’s paramount that you understand that women aren’t the enemy, but their natures will eat you alive and spit you out if you do not understand them. If you’re Red Pill aware guy then you’ll certainly notice and see these ques vividly. For those of you that are Blue Pill aware or just starting to get some Red Pill awareness, it’s critical that you understand the unconscious mechanisms at play in inter-sexual relationships. Otherwise you’ll find like many AFC (Average Frustrated Chumps) out there, the love you think you have unconditionally is completely contingent upon a set of conditions, and once those conditions change, it’s game over. Just some “food for thought.”

game over