The Ashes Of Gotham

 

“Home…Where I learned the truth about despair. As will you. There’s a reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth: Hope. Every man who has rotted here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy. So simple. And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water, from uncontrollable thirst; many have died trying. I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope.” – Bane, The Dark Knight Rises

I love this scene for so many reasons and after some interesting reading I have found another way to view and love this scene. One of the inherent dangers of the Red Pill is the effect of Reality Depression, where upon seeing the world for what it is, particularly women and their motivations, it’s very easy to become depressed and drift into a sense of harsh hopelessness. For this post, I will be exploring this subject and using the quoted line above as frame of reference. What inspired this was re-watching this scene and imagining that Bane was my Red Pill self talking to my recently former Blue Pill self after coming to a Red Pill awareness. I’d suggest giving that scene a viewing under that context after reading this post, the monologue by Bane hits some pretty chilling points with how contextually relatable it is.

So within the framework of this movie, your Blue Pill self (Batman) just confronted your Red Pill awareness (Bane). Though your Blue Pill self put up a fight that was “admirable, but mistaken,” it was defeated and broken. Now, a broken, feeble version your Blue Pill self lies in a place buried deep, confronted by the Red Pill. Now in this context, Gotham City is the Blue Pill idealism, and your Blue Pill self (Batman) had dedicated its life to protecting and upholding those idealizations.

Your Blue Pill self asks where it is, your Red Pill self replies “Home,” which brilliantly translates to the deepest recceses of your mind, the part of you that always knew that something was off. The part of you that always took notice when women said one thing, but then did the complete opposite. The part of you that grew up believing one thing but deep down had some doubts as you saw that things you were raised to do did not work despite continuously being encouraged to do so. This part of yourself is “were I learned to the truth about despair.” And sure enough, “As will you,” translates to your Blue Pill self is only able to be ready to learn once it’s be completely broken by some type of trauma. As many other Red Pill writers have detailed, usually this is caused by something of significant magnitude like a horrible break up or a divorce.

The “reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth” for your Blue Pill self is summed up in one word: “Hope.” This is where a lot of men struggle with their Reality Depression, they are seeing things for how they really are, but there is a part of them that still hopes to achieve the Blue Pill idealization and wishes it to be true. “Every (Blue Pill) man who has rotted here (in a state where they see Red Pill truths) over the centuries has looked up to the light (Blue Pill idealized hope) and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy. So simple.” It seems like an easy idea to go back to the Blue Pill existence you had known before, with society reinforcing these ideas it seems like it should be a simple task.

But “like shipwrecked men turning to sea water from uncontrollable thirst; many have died trying.” And here we get to the core of that reality depression, which is Blue Pill men trying to return to their former ways and idealizations which were toxic and discovering just how poisonous those Blue Pill idealization really are. Though many men have tried to hold onto those ideas and tried to make them true, many have died emotionally or literally in the process without ever coming close to completing their impossible task.

Most men “learned here” in this place, this confrontation between the broken Blue Pill idealizations and the powerful Red Pill awareness, “that there can be no true despair without hope.” The hope of the Blue Pill, the last and strongest core of the what the Blue Pill stands for and runs on, is what causes the true despair. Despite knowing that the Red Pill is reality and how the world works, the Blue Pill hopes against all odds that it can be realized. And this is a dangerous crossroads many men face.

So how does one reconcile this? That is a choice each of us has to make individually, to attempt to reconcile with our old understanding and cling to the hope of the Blue pill; or to see the harsh truths that the Red Pill represents and decide how best to move forward. But one thing is certain, no matter which choice is made, the point of no return has been crossed. Hope and despair are two powerful forces that will push and pull you, but the real questions is will you use the hope of the Blue Pill knowing that deep down it fuels your despair? Or will you see hope in the Red Pill while not succumbing to the inherent despair that harsh reality brings?

This is a question we all face and sometimes struggle with on a continual basis. If Gotham (the Blue Pill idealism) is overrun with despair and hypocrisy, the wisest course of action would be to take the other path and let Gotham burn. While there might be despair, at least there is truth and reality for what it is, so you can now truly live to make your own path.

I do imagine the final lines of this scene will recall the moment when many of you transitioned from Blue Pill to Red Pill, as the conversation with your former and new self most likely ended like this scene does: With your Red Pill self taking one last look at your Blue Pill self and stating as a final farewell: “We will destroy Gotham. And then…when it is done…and Gotham is…ashes…Then you have my permission to die.”

Bane Back

The Question King: 5 Golden Questions

Classy Sexy

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers” – Voltaire

So for those of you that don’t know, I actually do some work in the dating industry, and I can tell you dropping some Red Pill tidbits here and there goes a long way. A fun way to give back to the community would be to bring over some tips and experiences I’ve had, and if they can help just 1 of you out there close a deal, it’s all been worth it. One of the biggest consistent issues I’ve seen in the dating world has been guys sweating over what to say to a girl when opening up a new, cold conversation. Below I’ll be sharing with you some questions that I love using when opening and during conversations, because they work so well in both Day and Night Game, and translate well with gaming girls or with making conversation with anyone. Ready to become a master conversation starter? Well here you go:

1. “Tell Me Your Life Story”

This question is a great way to rapidly get people (especially girls) talking about themselves and helps you do some quick scouting on background details, like where they are from what they do, and why they moved to the city they are in, for example. I like to ask this question in a playful sense, by keeping the tone light, and I’ll usually preface it something like “So, mysterious person…” Sometimes people will be like “My whole life story?” and you have room for a playful response, something like “give me the highlights” or “only what you want to share with the class.” You have a lot of room to tease, be playful, or ramp up the energy to get people into the same vibe as you. And if a girl just refuses to play along, you can quickly NEXT them and move on because this question can be a shit test of your own to see if she is willing to play along with you or will fight you.

2. “What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?”

This is another great question and what I love about it is the fact that’s it very deep, insightful and revealing, while being brilliantly simple and subtle. I once asked a girl that was bar tending at this place I like “So what do you want to be when you grow up?” She responded with by telling me how she moved out to a big city to pursue acting because she felt people like herself where under represented in media and wanted to change social attitudes about that.”  So, with this simple question, I uncovered a core motivating driver in her life, what her passion is and experienced a deep moment that connected us while still keeping everything fun and light. You’ll be surprised at the answers people will give you. And the fun part about this question is when you ask girls it gives them a playful sense of bright-eyed optimism and youth.

3. “What Is The Most Romantic Song Of All time?”

This question is a lot of fun to use because it’s a topic with many built in transitional topics, which I’ll get to later. It works extremely well with groups, but this requires you to have some fun energy to really make it work. Whenever someone names a song, I will usually excited reply “That’s a great one!” or “Oh I hadn’t thought of that…great pick!” It works really well with obscure songs. Also, this questions usually gets people talking about themselves and their relationships, with things like “Well when I was traveling in Paris I heard” or “me and my boyfriend listen this song because it’s our song.” So it saves you some effort in qualifying them because they are revealing everything for you. And naturally, you can transition the conversation into personal theme songs to best hook-up songs.

4. “Ladies Can You Help Me Out? / I Need A Girl’s Opinion…”

If you have a question of some sort ready but are unsure how to ask it, use these to preface that question. These work well because it peeks girl’s curiosity as to what you’re going to ask, and it gives them a little bit of an ego boost in the sense that they get to give their official opinion on something. Make sure if you use these your following question is somewhat appropriate Leading off with “I need a girl’s opinion, is jerking it 5 times a week a lot?” is not the way to go so use some common sense. Unless you’re getting a vibe based on the scene that something that out there would work, I’d stick to more fun and playful questions, like “Ladies can you help me out? What city has the best food in world?” These preface questions are golden ways to get attention, so make sure you capitalize on it.

5. “Can I Trust You?”

A large part of Game is creating your own personal bubble with a girl, and this question does just that. The implication with it is that you’re about to share something not-so public with her, which helps draw her into your world, as well as gets her to do a little qualifying of herself to you because of course, she is trustworthy and will prove it to you. This question is gold when trying to isolate a girl from the group or with giving you a reason to move a girl from one place to another, away from prying ears.

So if you can’t think of anything in your conversations or cold approaches, feel free to use and incorporate these questions. They can be used solo, in combination with each other, or in any way you see fit. Get out there and become a conversation guru.

Cheers.

Golden Drink

Friends Like These

back stabber

“Always sleep with one eye open. Never take anything for granted. Your best friends might just be your enemies” – Sara Shepard

For this post, I wanted to touch on an interesting topic that I’ve dealt with personally and I feel is becoming more and more of an issue many guys are dealing with in general as well as in a magnified capacity with Red Pill Awareness: The role of male friendship.

For men, the role of friendship has become a much more difficult topic to tackle over the last 50 years, particularly over the last 30. The large reason for that is with the more feminized socialization of boys, they are taught that a more feminized method of expression is the “correct way.” Open communication, expressing feelings and being more sensitive is the “correct” or standardized way that boys are taught to communicate and behave, which is the way that women communicate and behave. The issue manifests as these boys grow older and don’t know how to relate to men as men. Male communication and socialization is different from women’s…Women will sit around compliment each other and not meaning it while men insult each other and not mean it. The way men bond and socialize is more direct and about sizing each other up to find a place in the pecking order…Men use insults, brash language and direct communication as a way of bonding and endearment. Guys poking fun of each other is part of our bonding experience…it’s a male-to-male shit test. If I call you a sissy, are you going to take it? Or are you going to fire back and give me a run for my money? To the female point of view this can seem horrifying, but it’s how male psychology has evolved to help ensure the survival of humans.

In the modern era, these sorts of mannerism have been deemed “incorrect” and boys are being encourage to socialize the way girls do, which is the “correct” method. The consequence of this is two fold: Men don’t know how to relate to women as men, but they know how to relate to them as “women”, and men don’t know how to relate to their fellow man. What this means in terms of intersexual and dating dynamics is that women are now frustrated that there are no “real men” left anymore, which is a result of this “corrective conditioning,” so the super-rare “Man” (Alpha) becomes a huge in-demand commodity.  For the average guy, this is an added insult to injury because he was raised his entire life to be sensitive and emotional, yet when he tries to relate to women he he shunned from their intimacy. He has been setup to fail and according to society it’s all still somehow his “fault.” This is seen very prominently in modern Christian circles. I’m not knocking religion or trying to make an attack on the Christian faith. I believe that spirituality is an essential part of human existence and organized religion can be a great thing. That being said, I also can see how Red Pill principles apply in a religious setting, and religious traditions aren’t exempt from examination or critique. Going back to the point at hand, the westernized Christian social settings are very feminized, and essentially use religious ideology to justify the pacification of men into “good little boys.” Anger aggression, and other displays of traditional masculinity are deemed sinful so not only is it the “improper” thing to do there’s also the risk of eternal damnation attached to it, which is a powerful reinforcement tool. This leads to a lot of strain in those marriages, because you have a feminized “good boy” that a wife is supposed to submit herself to, but it’s forcing her to do something that’s against her instincts: submit to a lesser man that relates to her as a girlfriend would.

The second part of this issue, which is the main focus of this post is that men don’t know how to relate to each other as men. This is the third time I’ve mentioned this in this post, but I think the point is that important that it needs to be driven home. When it comes to socializing and friendship, men need to understand how important relating to each other on a man-to-man level really is. One thing I’ve noticed, and I am sure many other Red Pill guys out there have, is that when you have a Red Pill awareness, you notice how feminized and “catty” blue pill men are. They tend to gossip and be involved in personal drama more and usually the bond you share doesn’t feel as genuine. The biggest issue, is that if you express some Red Pill idealism, they are quick to be offended and even quicker to sell you out, so to speak, or attempt to “correct” you. One really does have to treat these males as he would females, because they socialize in the same manner. This gets very isolating and alienating for Red Pill guys, because if anyone should be able to understand and accept you, it would be a friend, but it almost feels like apples and oranges. My closest friends tend to be immigrants from other countries that have a more traditional view point of masculinity and femininity, and even if these cultures aren’t overtly Red Pill aware so to speak, the understanding of the core concepts are there which makes for genuine bonds.

One of the reasons why World War II movies are held in such high esteem, especially for men, is that we’re reminded of what male friendship is. It’s going to war and battle with your brothers and providing that unquestioned support. It’s having a roast fest to see who can come out on top and who can display the most bravado. It’s a reminder of how we evolved to survive and the value of a friendship and brotherhood. World War II movies are one of the last remnants of positive masculinity in it’s purist form.

As a general rule, you should always be careful of who your friends are, but as a Red Pill aware person you need to be doubly careful. The Red Pill presents a lot of cold, hard truths that come as a system shock to the Blue Pill, and as such it is usually received with hostility. What this does also, is it gives some friends the Judas complex, in the sense that in an attempt to “do the right thing” by society’s standards, they take every opportunity possible to bring you back around and back into the fold. It can be frustrating, because you know in their heart of hearts they are well meaning people and they are doing what they think is right, but once you know the truth there is no going back because the world has been exposed to you for what it really is, and there’s no way to un-see it. This certainly makes for some interesting food for thought, but friendship is something essential to the human experience and especially so for men. Fortunately with technology many Red Pill guys can find a virtual community to exchange ideas, experiences, and bridge that bond of friendship and brotherhood across cyberspace.

band of brothers.jpg

The Gamer Girl Guide

Gamer-Girl

“My coach said I ran like a girl, I said if he could run a little faster he could too”– Mia Hamm

For this post, I wanted to elaborate on a reply to a comment that Days of Game left on my last post, Street Walker’s Gold. I had been tossing the idea around for a while and after some enlightening experiences this past weekend, I wanted to put together a guide for the different types of Game that girls use. Now this list isn’t complete and I do look forward to getting some contributions from other great minds, but from a Red Pill context here are some types of Female Game strategies I’ve noticed over the years. Now, understand that this ins’t to bash women and in fact if you do consider an LTR some forms girl game can be a good thing. The purpose of this is to keep you informed on what type of game you might be encountering when dealing with a particular girl.

1) Covert Lock Down Game

Girls run this with guys that they know have plenty of other options when it comes to dating and sexual intimacy. This game strategy involves them “playing it cool” and being able to keeping things smooth. What betrays this strategy is the little subtleties, like she might offhandedly mention something about a couple and follow it up with something like “they’re like us” or might make other relationship oriented jokes or comments. The bet she’s playing is that by not appearing to be “clingy” or appearing relationship oriented the guy with forego his other options in favor of her because she’s established herself as relate-able and uncomplicated. Red Pill aware guys that are attune to women’s sub-communications and can read between the lines well will pick up on this game and act accordingly with their own objectives. Those that don’t pick up on it find them selves saying “I never thought I’d be in a relationship, but here I am.” If your Frame is solid this can lead to a great and healthy LTR if that is your inclination.

2) Side-Man Game

This strategy is employed by girls who have and are entertaining other prospects, especially with guys that are at the number 2 thru 10 slots. This game works very effectively with Beta orbiters who get blindsided because they think they’ve finally found a cool girl that they “click” with only to get blind sided when she dumps them or pulls the Let’s Just Be Friends card. Alpha’s and the Red Pill aware tend to instinctively pick up on the ques from this game and take it for it is: minimal investment is required and the relationship already has an expiration date so when it’s reached that time it’s not a big deal. Signs of this strategy in play are very long delays in response to communication, always seemingly unavailable during prime “date” times or in general, and vague comments about that unavailability in the vein of “I already have plans for that time.” This type of girl game is not conducive to an LTR since the very nature of it is temporary and similar to Dread Game. Proceed with caution and make sure your Frame is airtight if you think of proceeding down the LTR path.

3) Direct Game

The best examples of direct game are found in women that are very close to hitting The Wall or in the online dating / dating app arena. For this type of game time is of the essence, and so there’s no room to bullshit about. This game is direct and blunt with wanting to satisfy the hypergamic directive and usually isn’t bashful in expressing it. You’ll notice phrases like “I want to start a family” or “I don’t have time to date” mentioned incredibly early on. For the Red Pill aware most will avoid because there are much better prospects and also you don’t want to waste their time as well as your own. Since a lot of the ones using this type of game are looking to check a box, it’s not worth the pursuit, unless their long term objective happen to line up perfectly with your own. But there are plenty of Blue Pill Betas that are more than happy to be that check mark on the box. Take this on a case by case basis, it can be a very pragmatic partnership if the dynamic clicks. Trust your gut.

4) Good Girl Game

Good Girl game is used by women who are clever at making themselves look good compared to other girls. These types are usually highly critical of other women, are quick to point out how other girls are dressed like sluts or act like whores. Even though if given the opportunity these women would probably do the same things, they are very outspoken about “Low Quality Women.” These women also can have a few skeletons from their past, but a lot of times this game is employed by women of religious backgrounds. Keeping a realistic frame of mind will help you see what’s what quickly and see who she truly is. If things check out, you’re good to go. If not, then NEXT her and move on.

5) Victim Game

This game strategy is employed by a lot of borderline personality disorder women aka “psycho girls.” This strategy partially stems from our social attitudes towards women being victims by default and manifests itself in later stages of the relationship. This game employs the use of a past abuse or trauma as a baseline to explain away irrational or just plain bad behavior. Usually this these women will put on a front of being normal, innocent and sweet, until the viciously malicious side comes out. Then after the true nature has been revealed, the use of victimhood is employed so it’s “not really her fault” and that she has “issues she’s working through.” Woe is the man who falls into this trap, for he often finds himself having to come up with justifications or explanations for her behavior and gets taken into an emotional hellscape.  Warning signs, aside from the many red flags, are her always being the victim, you always having to justify or rationalize her actions or make excuses on her behalf, and her not taking any real accountability for her actions. When you encounter this type of game, RUN.

6) Strong Independent Woman Game

This game is the pride and joy of hypergamy. This game is usually ego-driven, and is very much used by women looking to prove themselves and establish dominance over the mythical and omnipotent patriarchy in some way. This type of game is about a woman not needing  man in any real capacity, and usually you’ll hear things “sex isn’t important in a relationship” or “communication is the key to any great relationship.” This type of game utilizes guilt and “Man Up” (be your own man, but within the context of what I want a man  to be) conventions to keep men in line. Alpha’s have no time for this and the Red Pill aware can see the smoke screen for what it is. Users of this type of game are best avoided because the shit tests will be nonstop.

7) Party Girl Game

As the title suggest, this type of game is employed by “party girls,” or girls that have very active social lives…in the party scene. This game type is what the Blue Pill men thinks of when they imagine clubs, bars and other places of “ill-repute.” These girls love to party and have a great time, and usually that means whatever it takes to keep the party going. Alcohol is frequent and drug use is common among these those using this strategy. The allure of this type of game is that it is fun and the goal is to have a great time, and also this type of game flaunts female sexuality. These girls will usually do impromptu strip shows, make out with other girls, or even be game for sexual encounter in the bathroom in the back of the club. This is all fun and games, but understand that’s that all it is. Blue Pill Men are often horrified while Alpha’s get to reap the spoils. Though there are plenty of Betas that are more than willing to fund the party lifestyle in the hope of getting in on some of the action. It’s best to take this type of female game for what it is, fun and games, no more and no less. Never forget girls are just as if not more sexual than guys, and sometimes they just want to go out, have fun and get laid. Many of the girls using this game using it during their peak SMV years, before “maturing” and resorting to other strategies to exercise their hypergamy. If your Frame is rock solid then you can find some LTR potential, but always see things for what they are.

8) Scenester Girl Game

This game is employed by girls that are constantly trying to maximize their options. You can also nickname them bargain hunters, because they are constantly searching for a better deal without investing more than they have to to get it. These girls are usually the arm candy that arrive with guys to parties or nights out, but always seem a little aloof in their own worlds. They are usually very nice and courteous, and any Red Pill aware man gets the sense they could probably swoop in and “steal” this girl away.  A huge sign is if they arrive with a guy and it’s not apparent that they’re together. These girls are very hypergamous, and so they are continuously and actively looking for a better deal. The men they are presently “with” are only so out of convenience. These types are best to be avoided, because at best you can lease them, but you will never truly “own” them. Getting involved with them also leads to complications with ex-lovers. These women are expensive to maintain as well, in that it takes a lot of resources (time, money, energy, etc.) to hold their interest for little reward. These women typically target men that are successful in business but are Blue Pill or Beta when it comes to dealing with women. Alphas tend to understand their nature instinctively and so they follow the “don’t be gentle it’s a rental” mentality and ditch them before they can find a better situation. Warning signs are girls that only want to go on dates that involve a large social scene (like going to clubs or high profile places) were she can meet other suitors, girls that are currently in relationships but they’re “already winding things down” or “in the processes of ending it” but somehow that relationship continues to go on and not officially end. They also tend to be very much in their own worlds when out, not really interacting with their dates but are easily approachable by anyone who wishes to talk to them. Also look out for going on many dates with them before any type of sexual intimacy occurs. This is a good rule in general, but Sceneters are especially prone to sporadic intimacy, usually requiring a very long courting process (like 5 -10 dates). An LTR is not advised because you’ll be setting yourself up to be cheated on, it’s best to look elsewhere if an LTR is your end goal.

9) Tease Game

This style of game is actually fairly clever. This type of game is when a women tells you up front that she’s a tease or something else negative about her, like “I’m a huge bitch.” The trick is that her actions shortly after tend to contradict what she said earlier. So it’s a little bit of a bait-and-switch tactic. But then after a period of time, the character flaw she warned you of previously comes out in full force and all she has to say for herself is “I told you about this from the get go.” This type of game is the bait-and-switch-and-switch-back. This can throw any guy for a loop and takes some experience to see the signs more clearly. Always heed any overt warnings and proceed with caution. The best way to deal with this game is to treat it like Side-Man game, enjoy it while it lasts, and then when the warning comes true; cut, run and never look back.


That’s what I have for now. I hope you can use this knowledge to help with your current or future situations. Sometime women run 1 type of game exclusively and other times they run a few different concurrently. But if you know what to look for, you’ll be able to see things for what they really are. Remember; in your own life you are Player #1. Don’t get played.

Played

Street Walker’s Gold

SWG

“You’re nothing more than a clever prostitute. You accepted the conditions in which you found yourself and you triumphed.” – E.L. Doctorow

For today’s post, I’ll be elaborating on a throwaway comment I made to a friend of mine while we were out at an LA hot spot that stuck with me. One of the Blue Pill maxims that is very prevalent is the myth of the “quality girl” vs the “non-quality girl.” We were noticing a two girls, and one was taking pictures of the other. Both girls where incredibly attractive, long blonde hair, perfectly tone bodies and legs that could go on for days. We started to notice some details about their clothing and accessories. Both girls had on YSL (Yes Saint Laurent Shoes), Birkin Hand Bags and they looked to be about 21 – 23 tops. Now, if you aren’t familiar with those brands do a quick google search. Those accessories are very expensive, and for girls in their early 20’s to be rocking these there’s a 99.9% chance they didn’t pay for them. After they where done taking pictures, 2 guys joined them. The guys looked to be of middle-eastern decent, relatively young (I’d guess 26-32) but they drove over in a Mercedes Benz G Wagon 65 AMG, which is a very expensive SUV. My friend made a comment along the lines of these girls being gold diggers and responded unconsciously with: Everyone’s a prostitute, but there’s only 2 variables in the equation: 1) What is their preferred currency & 2) How much?

Everyone is a prostitute

Why this comment stuck with me is that in the context of the Red Pill, it’s easy to see past the “non-quality woman” mantra that gets shoved down our throats by the equalist-fempower movement. It’s easy and dismissive to write these young, hot girls that are easily 9.5’s on the SMV (Sexual Market Value) curve as materialistic, gold-digging fashion whores that aren’t worthy of a Blue Pill man’s time or energy. He should instead focus on finding a “quality girl” to occupy his affections. The reality is that this smoke screen is really just a way to disguise women’s hypergamy. The 9.5 hot girls can easily maximize there hyergamous options because when you are that high up on the SMV curve you can “command a premium” and guys are more than willing to pay it. For the girls that can’t compete directly, the strategy is to shame those girls in the eyes of men who might not be able to compete, or in some cases can but don’t know their SMV worth, so that can turn their SMV disadvantage into a big strength. Taking this to the broader scale, everyone, and I do mean everyone – both men and women, is a prostitute in some way shape or form. The guys in the expensive SUV might be using their expensive car and displays of wealth to prostitute themselves to hot girls. The girls might use their looks and sexuality to get access to the perceived wealth and lifestyle of these guys. Or the waiter at serving food might pretend to really care about a very annoying table he’s serving in order to get a better tip. Or a girl might were low cut skirt to get a promotion at the office. Make no mistakes, we all prostitute ourselves, so putting that in a Red Pill context we are willing to make social transactions for goods or services. The only 2 variables are: What is the currency & How much?

What is the currency?

We all want different things, but it is in those wants that we can discover the currency. Some people want friendship, others sex, other career advancement and others companionship. In a Red Pill sense, the Beta provider who finds himself a “quality girl” doesn’t see the relationship for what it is: He’s “paying” for the intimacy and companionship he desires by providing this “quality girl” with his finical and emotional provisioning. It’s like the old joke of “What is the difference between getting a prostitute and having a girlfriend? Paying for dinner.” This observation has stood the test of time because for guys, we can pay a girl money and she’ll provide us with the sexual release we seek. Or we can talk to a girl, and instead of paying her directly, we’ll pay for her dinner in the hope of achieving the same end.  So the real question is, What is the preferred currency of choice? Is it cold hard cash or is it expensive dinners?

Now, the purpose of this isn’t to dehumanize people, or to take anything away from the genuine emotions, desire, and enjoyment people have in relationships and interactions. But but I am saying is that there are underlying mechanisms at play that if you don’t understand then you’ll find yourself very surprised and shocked when you’re suddenly “outbid” but another party using the currency of choice. For the Red Pill aware, you know that the hypergamous nature of women is always testing for perfection and the best available option. So that understanding that a better bid (someone more Alpha, higher status, etc) may come along is very real. How many relationships have been ended at rock shows when the band pulls a guy’s girlfriend on stage? A clear case of a better bid.

Women understand this intuitively, hence why they approach dating as a zero-sum game. They know that there is a very real reality where a better bid (someone younger, hotter, more adventurous, etc.) can come along that can derail their investment. How many times have we heard the shaming strategy in play with divorced women complaining about their ex dating a “child” (aka a younger and hotter girl) after the divorce? They instinctively understand this reality of “everyone has a price” hence why they spend so much time and effort trying to lock down the men they perceive as Alpha’s. Usually the easiest and most commonly preferred currency is sex. Hence why Alphas enjoy the depths of depravity and sexual exploration with women, because these women know that if they maintain a hold on the currency they can keep the bid. Beta men on the other hand, usually have a preferred currency of companionship, validation and low sexpecatation (minimal expectations with sex), hence why they they get the companionship and ego boost they seek by landing a “quality girl” but will never experience the recesses of her full sexuality. They also make the mistake of trying to use the wrong currency with the women they fantasize about (like trying to relate to her as a gender neutral being would) and are perplexed when their currency is rejected.

How much?

After the preferred currency has been figured out, the next question naturally is, How much? This is one area when looking at things through the Red Pill lens where women, being the more pragmatic ones in their approach to love really excel compared to men. Men are usually very good at problem solving and using logic and reason, but when it comes to the question of currency, men, especially the Blue Pill Betas, get outclassed 10 to 1. Women understand the zero-sum nature of the sexual market place: If another woman secures a mate, they do not get that mate. Seeing this, women have become incredibly adept at figuring out the preferred currency that any given man seeks. Some men want passionate and consistent sex. Other men want ego validation while others simply just don’t want to be alone. Women are incredibly adapt at using discovering the currency of a man and then investing enough of it to get a long term contract in place to secure their ends, and once the sale has been made, there’s no need to continue paying for what they own if know the man they’ve secured is not a hot commodity in the market place. Hence why so many men get caught off guard when their girlfriends are sexually insatiable or always beyond supportive when they are dating, but once they establish a LTR or get married, suddenly all of that fades away.

Men can be very similar, particularity Alpha males, because instinctively the Alpha knows he’s a hot commodity. His currency is himself: His time is the commodity and as a high-value male he knows he can command a premium and that there are going to many buyers out there on the market. Beta men who aren’t able to enjoy the level of access the Alpha has (typically) employ other methods of currency, be it funding expensive lifestyles, emotional support or “seeing the real person” and completely overlooking someone’s past.

I do want to emphasize as a conclude this post that the intent here is not to take anything away from human relationships or experiences. The intent here is to provide a metaphor for the mechanisms behind human interactions and relationships to help you arm yourself with some knowledge that can help you maximize your potential and help you avoid unnecessary distress. Everyone wants something and there is a set of conditions (aka a price) that people want met to get that something. Learn what your own currency and prices are to protect and master yourself. Learn how to discover the currency and price of others and you’ll find endless potential when you can see the going rate of street walker’s gold.

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Un(but totally)conditional Love

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Hypergamy doesn’t care about relational equity” – Rollo Tomassi

This past weekend I had a very fascinating late-into-the-night conversation that inspired this post. I was invited to a BBQ with a very good friend of mine and it was being hosted by several friends of his. After the dinner and several people left, the remaining group was me, my friend , and two married couples, including the hosts. We were enjoying dessert and some fun conversation, and at some point the conversation turned to dating and relationships. For some background context, my friend was in a 5 year relationship (married for 3) but now is going through a divorce. The host couple has been married for about 2 years and together for 4 years, and the other couple has been together for 15 years and married for 8. The age ranges of everyone (myself included) are from 31 to 38.

So with that background context in mind, it’s quite amazing how much of an eye opener having Red Pill awareness can be. Through the course of the conversation when I posed the question of what makes relationships work and last I got the usual, Blue Pill responses of “it takes hard work and communication” and when I inquired why dating is challenging today the responses of “men are intimidated by strong independent women” and “they don’t act like men” were what I received. If you assumed that the women where the ones leading these responses, you’d be correct. If you also assumed that the men unquestioningly complied with these responses, you’d also be correct.

As the conversation progressed inquiries about why I am single came up, and the usual comments of “you haven’t met The One yet” and “you need that One person who…” came up multiple times. It’s really fascinating just how ingrained the idea of “The One” is in our culture, and how people approach relationships from the view point without question. Since I was being given the Blue Pill sales pitch, I decided to pose a question to bring up some Red Pill awareness to the conversation while framing it as “food for thought.” I had mentioned earlier in the conversation that men are more romantically optimistic in their approach to relationships while women are more pragmatic (hypergamic in reality, but I had to be softer in phrasing that). I noted that both are complimentary in balance but in order to have it one must understand those natures. The conversation reached a point when we were talking about how relationships go in waves, with highs and lows. There are times when things are going great and then there are times when things are going bad. Fair enough, that is true with any relationship. So to illustrate my point on the differences of how men and women approach love, I posed this question:

“How long do things have to be consistently bad before you know it’s time to end the marriage?

The 15 year couple answered the question right away, but with very different replies. The husband immediately responded that loyalty comes above everything, and that one needs to honor their commitments. His wife responded right after him with “One year.” This dichotomy is the perfect example of how men and women approach love. Men approach love from standpoint of we always look for the potential of what things can be and we will move heaven and earth to hold onto that idea. In the case of the husband the thought of ending his marriage wasn’t even on is radar. Loyalty, and a sense of honor binding him to that loyalty means that no matter how bad things get and they stay, he’s in it until “death do us part.” Women on the other hand are much more pragmatic in their approach to love, it’s very much conditional. If the conditions remain favorable or good, all is well. Should those conditions change and become unfavorable or bad for a certain period of time, as many men find out the hard way, love does not conquer all and suddenly the relationship is in danger of ending or is already over. So while for the husband loyalty is what matters until death, for the wife the conditions are if the situation is bad for a year, it’s time to end things. For all the talk of “hard work, communication and loyalty,” the wife had a ready-fire specific time table while her husband didn’t even conceive of terms limits.

Now, this example isn’t to expose women as traitors or opportunists that are always waiting for a chance to jump ship. The purpose of this example is to highlight how men and women approach love differently so you know the reality of any relationship you choose to pursue. Many men are completely blind-sided by the women they are in relationships with because they do not understand that women approach love from a conditional point of view. If the conditions change, so will her attention and affections. For women it’s not malicious, it’s an evolved social survival mechanism. Throughout the history of marriage, women have had their well being, provisioning, and survival directly tied to the condition of their husband. Only since the 1960’s has that social situation changed, but centuries of evolved psychology still keeps the underlying motivations in place. Ask many ex-professional athletes about “unconditional love” when they played sports vs after.

Men tend to project their attributes onto women, especially in the “equalist movement” of the modern era, without seeing the fallacy of it. Men, being less pragmatic and more idealistic, approach love unconditionally. Take for example the ultimate Hollywood example of this, the movie Pretty Woman. For many women this movie makes the list for top 3 most romantic films of all time, if not at the top spot. But the story is about a very rich man who falls in love with and marries a prostitute. With the way men approach love, all past indiscretions can be completely forgiven and overlooked because he sees the “real her,” which his idealized version of her potential. If Hollywood came out with a movie called “Handsome Man” which was the exact same story but with the roles reversed, where a successful and rich woman marries a gigolo, it’d be one of the most reviled and mocked films ever made. Women love this movie because it highlights a very positive masculine trait, which is the fact that men approach love in a unconditional sense, which means that despite any past or current indiscretions, men can look past that, even though women do not afford men the same luxury when it comes to their approach to love.

As a man, it’s paramount that you understand that women aren’t the enemy, but their natures will eat you alive and spit you out if you do not understand them. If you’re Red Pill aware guy then you’ll certainly notice and see these ques vividly. For those of you that are Blue Pill aware or just starting to get some Red Pill awareness, it’s critical that you understand the unconscious mechanisms at play in inter-sexual relationships. Otherwise you’ll find like many AFC (Average Frustrated Chumps) out there, the love you think you have unconditionally is completely contingent upon a set of conditions, and once those conditions change, it’s game over. Just some “food for thought.”

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Your Frame Is Your Life

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“This weapon is your life” – Obi-Wan Kenobi

For today’s post, I will be outlining my take on the importance of Frame. Frame is a word that is thrown around a lot and I am sure many of you are aware of the basic concept: Frame is personal frame, and is the realm or “frame” of the person people are operating in. For some great articles on frame you can check here and here.

To relate the concept of frame in terms that are themed by my name sake, Frame, especially for guys, is like a Jedi’s lightsaber. One must use discipline, concentration and focus to construct it. Once constructed it once must learn how to properly wield it and finally, one must have it with them at all times and never lose it.

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Constructing Frame

In order to construct your Frame, first you need to exercise some discipline and be able to take a cold, hard look at yourself. Check your ego at the door and really think on and examine all of your interactions with people and in all of your relationships. Are you constantly apologizing to people, or feeling like you never get your way? Are you running the show in your professional life but find yourself always getting the short end of the stick in your family and romantic life? These are the honest questions that need addressing so you know where to begin. Everyone is different and will have different starting points. Some people have strong frame in their professional lives but not in their personal ones, vice versa, or weak frame in all areas of their life, and vice versa. That’s all fine, it’s a starting point and checking your ego helps you see things as they really are, not how you want them to be.

After taking a solid look inward you’ll instinctively know which areas your frame is naturally strong in, and which areas require some attention. Let me be clear; Frame is not about getting your way 100% of the time. There are times when you need to do things you don’t want to do, like say for example you get pulled over for a speeding ticket. Getting your way is continuing to drive off. You could do that, but then you’ll wind up making the situation worse for yourself with ensuing police pursuit. Pulling over to get the ticket is not weak Frame, it is acknowledgment of the fact that there are other social forces at work that you adhering too. But I digress. When you have an idea of where your Frame finds its natural strength, you’ll want to focus on what is working for you in that situation. For example, if you have strong frame in your personal relationships, and you discover that a lot of people find you to be funny, honest and confident, use those as templates to transfer to the areas you are weak in. Humor, honesty and confidence can go a long way in the professional and especially the romantic realm. These are examples, as I am sure you will discover you own. Now that you have a basic framework, it’s time to start making your Frame work (you see what I did there?).

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Wielding Frame

Frame is a tool and a very essential tool at that. But it requires knowledge on how to properly exercise it. The reality is most men in today’s society don’t have any frame or just don’t utilize it. They let complacency keep them from doing what they want all the while suffering in silence because they’ve been taught it’s always about everyone else and not themselves. I’m not advocating everyone become selfish assholes over night, but I am saying that exercising Frame will see a lot more people find satisfaction in life instead of being treated like doormats.

The best way to wield Frame is to first get in the habit of sensing Frame. If you’ve already started paying attention to your interactions, then you’ll pick up very quickly when you have Frame and when you don’t. If you don’t know if you have Frame in a situation or not, then guess what, you don’t have it. And as I mentioned earlier, Frame is getting what you want 100% and you will not have Frame in every situation. That’s ok. The important thing at this stage is to be aware of Frame and how it may shift so you can stay ahead of the curve, so to speak. You’ll learn about areas in which you compromise yourself too much, as well as which areas you can use your Frame to get more accomplished with. Applying this to romantic interactions, paying attention to this is critical. Having this skill with make shit tests very apparent and you’ll be able to pass them with ease. You’ll also pinpoint other areas where you might trip up, like say you’re great at one night stands but can’t seem to figure out how to get that third date locked in. Knowing where you compromise your Frame helps you keep yourself in check as well as makes you more aware of how your Frame effects others. It can be a powerful impact and one of the largest things with Frame is knowing what you want from every interaction. It doesn’t always have to be very specific, like “get sex” or “tell four elephant jokes.” But when you are involved in any interaction, you should have a vague goal in mind, be it to have a good time, de-stress, or to be intimate. But being indecisive and aimless is the easiest way to lose Frame. Taking control starts with your mindset.

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Keeping Frame

Now that you’ve analyzed your Frame, your mindset and are making it a habit to exercise your Frame, we come to the most important aspect: Keeping it. The simplest and best way to hold and keep Frame is to adopt one simple mindset: I come first. This seemingly selfish mindset is the key to holding Frame, because what it means is that you understand a simple truth: Only you can live your life and no one else can live it for you; you must live with the consequences of your choices whether they be good or bad.

With the I Come First mindset, you are prioritizing your needs in every situation. Sometimes what you want isn’t always in your best interest and you’re fully aware. Like say for example you want to go out drinking at night with your friends but tomorrow morning you have a huge presentation and you need to bring your A game. While going drinking is what you want to do, you realize that it is not in your best interest long-term if you have a hangover during your presentation. So despite your friends pleading to have their drinking buddy join them, your hold the Frame of “I have an important presentation I need to be sharp for” so you stay in and get a good night’s rest instead. I am sure you can think of your own examples, but the point is that you need to do what you feel is in your best interests first and foremost. If you have a hangover in the example above, your friends are not going to make the presentation for you, nor will they bare the consequences if you totally tank it. On the flip side, they aren’t going to to get the raise/promotion/good grade from your presentation, you will. You have to deal with the consequences in your own life, so make sure you are acting in what’s best for your own Frame.

In the romantic sense, many guys don’t have or completely lose their Frame with women because they fail to keep the I Come First mentality. They make it She Comes First and do everything in the book to appease her, only to find themselves frustrated and drawing spite from their romantic interests rather than appreciation and respect. How many stories are there of guys who had no Frame or completely lost it that find their lives have turned into nightmares? Jobs lost, friendships ruined and families destroyed because men couldn’t keep themselves or their houses in order? Your Frame is your responsibility and your life. Take care not to lose it.

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Fight Club: The Alpha Vs. Beta

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“We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need. ” – Tyler Durden

For today’s post, I want to revisit a film that many would propose as a “modern classic,” Fight Club. I won’t deny it, this film has had a pretty profound cultural impact and has reverberated with a generation of men. Having seen it while still very blue pill and having seen it again with a red pill lens, it has become vividly clear why this film strikes such a cord: It’s the battle inside every man that we all face of Alpha vs. Beta.

For those who haven’t seen it, here’s a brief summary (you can read the full summary here): Our main protagonist is the nameless Narrator, played by Edward Norton. He’s you’re average corporate drone, working long days at a job he loathes with not much else happening in his life. One day on a plane flight he meets very eccentric man full of bravado, Tyler Durden, played by Brad Pitt. They quickly become friends and create a Fight Club, a place for fellow men like the Narrator to release their aggression and frustration with the world in a brutal and physical way. As the club membership grows and it evolves into a revolutionary group aimed at curing the evils of consumerism in the world. The Narrator tries to take a larger role, and when the leader Tyler disappears, he goes on a hunt to find him. In that process, he discovers that Tyler Durden is actually a split personality of himself. He eventually reconciles this and is able to “kill” Tyler by shooting himself, while watching Tyler’s master plan to blow up several buildings unfold.

Now, the narrator is left as a nameless character, because he is supposed to represent average, every-day-man. In actuality, the Narrator is the embodiment of the Beta and Tyler Durden is very clearly the Alpha. The Narrator is an insomniac, haunted by the depression of his everyday life. He seeks solace in support groups by remaining silent and letting others assume he is going through the same affliction as them. While doing this, he meets a woman named Marla, who he doesn’t know how to interact with. She’s an imposter at the support groups like him, but he is attracted to her yet afraid of being outed by her at the same time. For those of you with even a hint of red pill awareness, the Narrator screams “beta” in every way. He has no frame, no direction or control of his life, and has to be pushed to extremes in order to act. He even looks physically weak and fragile, and his need for validation from others is fully exposed with the support groups.

Now, let’s take a look at Tyler Durden, who at first glance screams “alpha.” Tyler is suave, dressed in a manner that shows care but also oozes the “rock star panty dropper” vibe. Physically, he is the idealized male body that is tone, athletic, and shredded (which is ironic that at one point when he mocks a designer ad featuring a perfect male physique like his and commenting “Is that what a real man is supposed to look like?”). He’s a natural leader, as he forms the fight club and evolves it into Project Mayhem and he touts his philosophy of personal freedom, anarchy, and dismantling the establishment. Tyler is that natural “alpha” that the beta Narrator wishes he could be. Brash, handsome, perfect figure and has total control over his life. Tyler even becomes sexually intimate with Marla, the girl the Narrator could only dream about being sexual with (literally and metaphorically).

Now, in the video above, Patrice O’Neal taps into something of note. While he sees it as a “The Holy Grail of something white,” I’d say he’s on point, but replace “white” with “beta.”  Fight Club is the Holy Grail for Betas. The story is about a beta guy who’s inner alpha comes bursting through. It’s the alpha side that wants total freedom – which is what true power is. The freedom to do as you desire and have total control over your life (for an excellent read on the subject, checkout this article).  Tyler is a beta’s idealized self, the true alpha that does what he wishes, beds the women he desires and is the man other men aspire to be and follow into battle.

“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” – Tyler Durden

Re-framing this statement in the context of blue pill and red pill, it reads much like this:

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. Men of worth and value to themselves and to society.

I see all this potential, and I see squandering. Men are not actualizing themselves, they are subverting themselves to their own eventual demise.

God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re enslaving ourselves to our blue pill idealizations, that by doing so we’re “doing our job” even though it’s not what we desire in our natural state. We’re relegating ourselves to be providers so we can been leeched dry until we have nothing left.

We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. The modern, more feminized world is constantly battling our masculinity. We’ve been stripped of it and as such striped of purpose. With the new equalist standard we are aimless and have become depressed. The blue pill is a raw deal that benefits everyone but us.

We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off. We see the harsh blue pill truths for what they are, as they have been made vividly apparent to us, and now we are displaying our justified outrage. The snowflakes have melted releasing the flood.

And this is a large reasoning for the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement as well as the climbing suicide rate for men (not to mention the fact that 80% of all suicides are committed by men). For the blue pill beta, the world is a cruel place that promised itself to them and then slowly revealed itself to be draining them. That is why this story has the cultural impact it does, it’s very blunt and real about blue pill betas coming to terms with the harsh truths about the world.

And the ultimate climax, which I feel sells some false hope, is that in the end the Narrator is able to kill Tyler Durden, but is left to inherit Durden’s empire. The message is that the alpha side is wild, dangerous and destructive, but beta side can eventually subdue, confront and kill the alpha side. The alpha can do the hard work and make all things desired happen, but the false hope is that the blue pill beta side can still remain dominant and come out on top. It’s the same irony as the “Is that what a real man is supposed to look like?” scene, in which we have the idealized male form degraded by an idealized male to make the betas feel better about themselves. The same irony exists with the climax, where the beta side realizes that everything it wanted was achieved by the dominant alpha, but in the end the beta side won out because it was the “dominant” personality. The false hope here is that a frustrated blue pill beta can utilize his alpha to get where he wants to be and then stay true to his “real self” by killing the alpha side when things go too far.

From a red pill perspective, a lot of men can understand the blue pill beta side of things, as many have come from that paradigm and fully understand just how powerful that idea can be. But where the blue pill sees a heroic story and captures their existence, one can only hope that if they do embrace their inner alpha that some red pill awareness will factor in as a discipline that alpha-ness, which is sourced in bitterness and disillusionment. Imagine how different this story would be if the Narrator had more actualized red pill awareness instead of a blue pill frame to lash out from? That would be a movie I’d love to see.

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