First Wheel

3rd Wheel

“Why go out and be a third wheel when you can stay home and be a unicycle?” – Unknown

In this post I wanted to share a field report of a most adventurous night and a few of the takeaways from it. Grab some popcorn and get cozy, this one is a bit of a ride.

I was hanging a hot spot rooftop bar in LA with a good friend of mine. I had chosen the spot because I like it and frequent it a lot, and throw in the fact that a lot of very attractive women frequent this place, it was a good venue to discuss some business before causing trouble.

As we where hanging out talking, I noticed this girl walking a few feet behind us. She was about 5’8″, had a nice athletic figure, had dark blonde hair and certain presence she carried herself with that made her intriguing. As she walked by I saw her glance over quickly and give the signature “up and down” look-over to my friend and I. This alerted my radar that a hot target was is close proximity. She then continued over to her friend very attractive brunette friend that was about 10 feet away from us.

As my friend and I wrapped up official business conversation, I had noticed that the blonde and brunette had managed to be standing within a few feet of us. I then asked my friend about what airline is the best and told him we need to get some outside opinions to weigh in, so I walked over to the blonde and ask “excuse me, we’re crowd sourcing opinions, which airline is the best?” They both responded with “Virgin Airlines” to which I responded “That’s the correct answer!” (because it is) and then I introduced myself and my friend. The blonde girl introduced herself as “Tess” and the brunette introduced herself as “Lily.”

1 minute into our conversation I was picking up some serious vibes from Tess. Suddenly, I had the thought of “I bet i could just make out with this girl right now.” So another two minutes later, I very gently place my hands on her hips, pulled her in close, and then just started kissing her. She was really into it, and then I pulled back to see her giving me one of the most innocently dirty smiles I’ve ever come across. It was that smile where she telepathically was saying “I want you to rail me until I’m a writhing pile of orgasmic sensation” and the thought I was projecting back was “It’s not a matter if, it’s only a matter of when.” Just then Lily got a text from a colleague of theirs, which signaled that they had to leave to meet with the rest of their colleagues. I proceeded to get Tess’ number and then told her “I’ll be seeing you later,” with a smirk and a wink. And indeed, I would see her later in an epic saga that resulted in one of my favorite sexual encounters to date.

But that story is for another post,  so back to the story at hand, my friend and I started to debrief after the girls left. 2 minutes later, this guy and two girls came into the venue. I recognized the guy as a bartender from one of my favorite lounges, and it appeared his was on a date with a girl and tag along friend. They got to the bar an ordered drinks, just as my friend who’s the GM of the present venue gave me and my friend 4 vodka sodas, compliments of the house. I thanked my buddy but now we had 2 extra drinks, so I used that as part of my opening play.  I tapped my bartender friend, let’s call him Chuck, on the shoulder and asked him what was up and how he was doing. We exchanged some quick small talk and he introduced me to his date, Mia, and her friend, Brittney.  Shortly after the drinks for Chuck and Mia where placed on the bar. Before they could react, I already had my card out, on the bar and told the working bartender the drinks ordered by Chuck and Mia where on me. (Side bar- this is Pro Tip; if you ever encounter a bartender you know outside of their work in the field, buy them a drink or two. Trust me, they will remember it fondly the next time you seem them while they are working.) Chuck thanked me, and then I picked up one of the vodka sodas and handed it to Brittney and said “vodka soda on the house from the GM, I have an extra one and you need something to cheers with.” Brittney enthusiastically took the beverage and then all of gave a cheers to the night. I then turned my attention towards Brittney and asked her what she was doing with Chuck and Mia. She looked at me and said, “I’m hanging out playing third wheel with them.” Seizing the moment, I replied in a jovial tone:

“Don’t be the third wheel with them. Come be first wheel with us.”

Her eyes lit up as she enthusiastically said “I’m in!” She came over to join me and my friend as we then proceeded to have a conversation about tech company stocks. During that conversation I kept my flirt game high since I was still feeling in the zone from my encounter 10 minutes earlier. At some point the subject of height came up, and Brittney pointed out how it must be nice to be my height, to be able to see over crowds. I told her the only way to find out was to experience it via piggyback, then took her by the hand to position her to hop on my back. She then hopped on, and I gave her a piggy back ride across the bar and back. I set her down and said “How was that test drive for you?” Brittney laughed and said it was a lot of fun and can see why I chose to be tall. We both then starting bobbing with the music that was playing, and after 30 seconds of light dancing, I felt the energy of the night take over. I then leaned towards Brittany and we started making out. I then took her to sit by the fire pit and proceeded to keep making out with her. We were hanging out there when someone offered us shots, to which I declined but she accepted.

About 5 minutes later, she began to feel a little sick. Having been to college and seen when someone’s had one-too-many plenty of times before, I knew she was done for. I had her put her phone number in my phone while I flagged Chuck over. He and Mia took Brittney to out to an uber so they could get her back to her place. I rejoined my friend and while checking my phone discovered that Brittney had added 8 digits in for her number, so I had no idea which digit was the extra one. My friend and I had a good laugh about that fact and continued to befriend random people until we closed the place down and I made my way home at 2:30 am.

Takeaways

4. In The Zone. Some nights you’re in the zone…you can do no wrong. You’re feeling the energy and channeling it through yourself. When you’re feeling it have fun with it, because the universe is about balance and there will be some nights where you’re so off you couldn’t even buy a phone number if you tried. The more you practice , refine and hone your game, the more times you’re find yourself being able to get into the zone.

3. Trust your gut. When you feel a strong vibe and your gut is telling you that a girl is on that same vibe, seize the moment and make magic happen. I could tell the Tess was interested based on her eye-rape as she did a close walk by. Then when we got to talking, I felt the vibe more intensely, almost like a magnetic force, and so withing 3 minutes of meeting her I was making out with her. The same is true with vibe I got from Brittney, and it worked out really well.

2. Create separation. What helped with both girls was the ability to create a little separation and create a personal bubble that was just the two of us. With Tess it started off physically creating it by placing my hands on her hips. With Brittney, it was when I rescued her from being trapped as a third wheel and told her to come be first wheel with my friend and I. Also, the piggyback ride certainly created a physical bubble. Working on this will help your success rate rocket up as well create stronger connections with women.

1. Your only expectation should be to have fun. If you approach the night with that mindset, then no matter what you’ll have a good time. I can look at what didn’t work that night, like the fact that Tess had to leave early and that Brittney took too many shots and got sick and I didn’t get laid that night. Or I can look at all the positives that made it fun, I had a great business discussion with my friend, I got to make out with Tess within 3 minutes and got her number, I gave Brittney a piggyback ride around the bar before making out with her, I got to make out with different girls in a 20 minute time span, all while befriend some other interesting people and coming away with a great story. If you find a way to have fun, then you’ll have it, and that’s what makes life worth living.

So the next time you find a girl that’s a 3rd wheel, rescue her and upgrade her into a 1st wheel.

Cheers with Beers

The Alpha Wingman

This guy

“You can be my wingman anytime” – Ice Man, Top Gun

Sometimes being an Alpha in a situation is not about using your Frame for your own benefit, but sometimes it’s about using it to help others. This post covers just such a situation that happened recently on a night out with a friend.

Field Report

I was hosting a friend of mine from out of town. He’s a young guy, in his mid twenties and is usually more of the quite and shy type at first, but opens up more once he’s comfortable in a situation. I decide to take him out for a Saturday night of fun and we go to this restaurant and lounge that I frequent in a hip and busy part of town. I like the place because it has a great atmosphere and energy, great food, great drinks, and is close to a lot of other places. It’s also frequented by many beautiful and diverse women, which makes it the prime location for a proper night out.

We get to the venue and go inside for a round of drinks. Since I frequent this place, all of the staff knows me, from the General Manager to the bar-backs, so I’m being greeted and am introducing my friend to them. After hanging out for about 30 minutes, I spot a pair of girls sitting at the end of the bar. One is blonde, with a curvy figure, and the other is a redhead with bright blue eyes and a petite figure. Both girls look to be in their mid thirties, but I know my friend has a thing for older women. I point out the redhead, which is the type of girl he usually goes for and said “I think I found someone you should go meet.” My buddy responded by saying “I’m not sure what the move is,” and so at this point I knew that I would need to take command of the situation.

“Follow my lead,” I told him, as I walked over to the girls. As I was making my way over, someone bumped me so my drink spilled a little onto my hand, so when I got up to the girls I asked if they could pass me a napkin since they where sitting next to them.

“That you for that act of bar-decency,” I said. “The bar is a lawless place and most of the time people just act insane.” Both girls laughed and then I quickly introduced myself and my friend to them. “So what brings you guys out tonight?” I inquired. “Well, we’re out to celebrate my cousin’s birthday,” said the blonde as she pointed to the redhead. “Well happiest of birthdays to you!” I said to the redhead as I gave her an enthusiastic high-five. “How did you guys know to come here?” I asked. “Where were at another bar, but there where no guys so we had heard of this place and came here.”

From there I knew we had a golden scenario. A birthday, which is a reason to celebrate. Check. They had come to this venue specially for guys. Double check. All that was left was to take the reins of the situation.

“You ladies came to the right place,” I said. “We are going to ensure that you have a proper birthday celebration.” I raised my glass and all four of us toasted to the birthday girl. We had some small talk, about what we all did and it urns out the blonde works for a Hollywood agency and the redhead is a college professor. As it turns out, they both had recently moved into the this particular area of town and they were looking to explore it more. They liked the current venue because the redhead leaved about a mile away from it. I asked them if they had been to this other lounge that is close by that I frequent, to which they replied they had hear good things but never had been. “Finish up those drinks, we’re moving out!” I said as I finished my beverage and then called for my tab.

The 2 girls, my friend and myself all made our together to the lounge I had mentioned, and I texted the General Manager there who is a buddy of min that I was en route. I got a “Fo sho playa” response back from the GM and told the ladies that they where going to like this spot a lot. This lounge is a bit of hot spot and sure enough, there was a large line out front as we arrived. I lead the group right up to the front and gave the door guy I know a solid handshake and then a hug to the girl that helps run the door as well. We then strolled right past the line and proceeded to the lounge area. As soon as we got in my buddy who is the GM greeted me and said “It’s a packed night but we have a table set aside for you. Enjoy my man.” The Assistant GM then lead us through the sea of people to a table and we got situated with myself next to the blond facing my friend and the redhead on the other side.

“What just happened?” The redhead asked. “We’re celebrating your birthday, so we are going to do it properly,” I told her. We then ordered some drinks and I made the promise that we would find birthday cake for the birthday girl to ensure the night was flawless. Our drinks arrived and my friend worked his game on the redhead as they got a little more cozy and I chatted up the blonde. After about 15 minutes, I then told the blonde that she should checkout the rest of the lounge and I took her on a tour of the space to give my friend and the redhead some 1 on 1 time.

After the tour of the of the lounge, which deliberately took 20 minutes, we rejoined the table. Once it hit 1 am, I told the group “Time for a field trip,” so we paid our tab then I took us all to a convenience store to look for some type of cake to act as a birthday cake. Since no cake could be found, we grabbed a bunch of peanut butter M&M’s, which is the birthday girl’s favorite candy. I also grabbed a bottle of wine and some matches. I paid for all of the item and then as we walked out of the store I turned to the redhead.

“So we’re going back to your place to continue the celebrations since it’s around the corner? My place is about 20 minutes from here.” She paused for a minute and then said “Ok! I wasn’t planning to have folks over, so I will need to tidy up for a quick minute before anyone comes in.” I smiled and said “Whatever the birthday girl desires.” We made our way to her place, which only took 5 minutes, and then both girls went upstairs to her place to tidy it up. My friend then said “Man, thank you for wingmanning, this has been great!” I turned to him and said “Ok this is how it’s going to go down. We’re going to head up there, have some wine and celebrate for about 30 minutes. Then people are going to get tired, at which point I will take the blonde back to her place and you’ll be good to go.” My friend nodded his head excitedly, and after a few more minutes the girls came back down to let us know we could head in.

We all got up stairs to continue the birthday theme of the evening by finding a few leftover candles and lighting them with the matches I had picked up. We all held glasses of wine and some peanut butter M&M’s while we sang Happy Birthday to the redhead. We then paired off and got settled on the couches and began discussing random topics, from different us cities to movies. Sure enough, after about 1 glass of wine and 30 minutes, the blonde said “I’m starting to get sleepy.” I responded by saying, “Same here, it is pretty late.” I then stood up and said, “We’ll I think I am going to head off,” I then turned to the blonde. “You’re an awesome amount of fun, I’ll give you a lift back to your place so you don’t have to call an Uber.” “Are you sure?” She asked. “Not a big deal,” I replied. “Plus I live in that direction anyway and can hop the freeway back home.” “Ok,” the blonde replied. The redhead then looked at me and asked “What about him?” as she looked at my friend. “No worries,” I said, “I’ll give you to some time. I’ll come back and pick him up after I make sure your friend gets home safely.” Of course, what I was thinking was “I’ll come back and pick him up tomorrow morning,” and I proceeded to say goodbye to the redhead and was quickly followed by the blonde.

The blonde and I then left the redhead and my friend and we proceeded to drive to her place on the other side of town. We got to her street and there was no where to park, so I threw on my hazard lights and prepared to say goodbye to the blonde. The blonde then looked at me and said “I should text my cousin so she knows I got back safe.” Knowing this might cause a potential cock-block, as it might imply that I would be en route back to pick up my friend, responded by leaning in close and then making out with the blonde. After making out  and playing with her large breast for a few minutes, I pulled back and said “Sucks there is no parking.” The blonde gave me a naughty look and said, “You can come inside next time.” Sure enough, a week later I would in every sense of the phrase. But that night, she returned home and I jetted back to my pad to get some much earned sleep. The following day I texted my buddy in the morning and picked him up from the redheads place.

This story is a bit of a longer one, but it is full of some key tips and ideas for you to take away.

Takeaways

6. Having venues locked down is a huge plus. Nothing can kill your momentum faster than dealing with hangups at venues, be it trying to get in or trying to grab drinks and find a place to be comfortable. Having a venue that you have locked down not only makes logistics silky smooth but it also enforces your Frame as a high value individual. Like in this example, having the staff know me at the first venue gave me social proof and boosted my status. Then, moving to the next venue, that status and Frame were further reinforced by bypassing the line and then getting a table instantly in a busy place. This also had the added effect of making the transitional logistics smooth and easy, which makes the impression of status high and well as keeps the momentum building and going, rather than hitting a wall.

 

5. Logistics are half the battle. When I am out and am suggesting other places to checkout, I ensure that they are logistically easy and close to each other. a long travel time can kill your momentum. Doing recon before and during your night is key. Since I frequent the area, I have great knowledge of all venues and their relative proximity to each other. Also, when it came up during the conversation that the redhead lived very close to where we were, that made her place the ideal go-to stop to continue the night once the bars closed.

 

4. Frame is a powerful tool. In this particular night, I used Frame to be the best wingman I could be. From the initial approach to taking the group from one lounge to the other, then to a convenience store and then back to one of the girl’s houses, that was only made possible because I defined and held the Frame. I used the theme statement of “It’s your birthday, we’re going to celebrate it properly” as the base that Frame operated from and it made for an adventure that everyone else was more than happy to be a part of.

3. Don’t ask. Subtly command. Part of Frame and game is learning to subtly give commands and not go about it by asking in a Beta way. What I mean by this is when I said “Finish up those drinks, we’re moving out!” I was giving the command of “finish your drinks, we are going to relocate to another venue,” rather than asking “Hey do you guys want to go see this other place?” By taking command of the situation I was able to hold Frame and steer the direction of the night. Other cases of this from that night were when I said “Time for a field trip,” and then leading the group to a convenience store, and then once we where done at the store saying to the Redhead “So we’re going back to your place to continue the celebrations since it’s around the corner?” I was dictating how the night was going to go, and then last example of that was near the end when we were hanging at the redhead’s place and I stated to the blonde “You’re an awesome amount of fun, I’ll give you a lift back to your place so you don’t have to call an Uber.” I was telling her not to call an Uber, I will be taking her home. Now there is a fine line, you don’t have to be an asshole in a commanding way, and sometimes you’ll get some push back to subtle commands. That’s fine and comes with the territory. NEVER FORCE ANYONE TO DO SOMETHING THEY DON”T WANT TO DO. I know most of you reading this already know that, but for those of you that might miss my meaning, I am not advocating forcing people into situations without their consent. Commands establish reinforce your Frame in an authentic way and is a great way to test how well people fall into it.

2. Know how to follow the lead. Nothing is more frustrating that doing a lot of setup to get the baton to the next runner and then to have them drop it half a second into you trying to pass it on. My friend did an excellent job of following my lead and playing off of me, so the combination was extremely effective. You can be Alpha and have Frame by following the lead of another person’s strong Frame. This can help establish your own Frame with a particular person or group and makes for an effective 1 – 2 punch. If you’re rolling out with a wingman and you guys can’t play off each other or follow each other’s leads as needed, you success rate is going to plummet, so make sure you both can either take the lead or follow the lead.

1. Have fun. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the outcome that we forget to take a step back and just enjoy the ride. One of the best highlights of the night for me was being able to have a fun time while helping a friend run his game on a girl he was attracted to. But all of us had a really fun time as we took the theme of “proper birthday celebrations” and ran with it. From the first venue to the second then the convenience store and then finally at the redhead’s house, the entire night was a fun time we all participated in. If you focus on having fun, then whether your get laid or not at the end of the night you’ll have a great time regardless. And as a bonus, having that attitude usually gets you laid more.

The More You Know

Hustling The Hustler

Bender

“The thief steals from himself. The swindler swindles himself. For the real price is knowledge and virtue, whereof wealth and credit are signs. These signs, like paper money, may be counterfeited or stolen, but that which they represent, namely, knowledge and virtue, cannot be counterfeited or stolen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes you go out and you have fun. Other times you go out and have an experience that makes for an exceptional night. This story is one of those times. A good friend of mine and I were out at our favorite hot spot in LA. We’ve been going to this place for almost a year now because they have great food, amazing drinks, the perfect atmosphere and the staff is incredible.

We get in, grab some dinner and drinks and are having a merry time. We wanted to have a fun night to cap an already fun weekend, so our energy was high and contagious. Mixed and mingled with several groups of people, bought a few cool girls that where hanging with us drinks (we didn’t expect anything in return and they turned out to be very fun) and even wound up doing shots with the manager and one of our favorite bar tenders.

Toward 1am we go to the bar to close out our tab so we could go to another spot close by with some of the waitresses and girls we had met that night. At the end of the bar was this group of women in their 40’s that were dancing and looked like they where having a good time. As we got the bar tender to get our tab, one of the women came next to me and asked about how to get the bartender’s attention. I replied that I could get it, but that usually involved him just bringing trouble. I asked her what she planned to order as her other friend come over and she told me that she was probably going with some champagne or wine. I told her that I would suggest getting the bar’s specialty cocktail.

Her friend: “So, you buying a round of drink for us?”

Now this tipped my spidey-sense that these ladies, though older, were still trying to run girl game into getting free drinks. I had done a quick scan of their left hands and indeed, they each has large wedding rings on them. I’ll buy a drink under the right conditions, but having a married woman blatantly try to get them from me is not one of them.

Me: “I don’t know you guys that well, so I don’t think so.” I said it in a playful but firm tone. This was a test of Are you Beta? Will you let us exploit you?

The bar tender came over to take their order and the girl I was conversing with ordered 1 glass of champagne and two glasses of wine. When the bar tender asked if they needed anything else, I told them they should try the house cocktail as I closed out my tab. The girl then told the bar tender that she’d try the house cocktail. The bartender come back with 2 of them.

Woman: “We’re going to need a 3rd since there are 3 of us.” The bartender made a third one and brought it over. He then brought out a printed tab, since it had been last call.

Bartender: “Thank you ladies, that will be $50.”

The woman put on a stunned face.

Woman: “These guys should be paying for these.”

Bartender: “I heard you order these.”

She then shot me and my friend a look. At this point we had a choice: Be coerced into paying for drink we did not order, or let her deal with a situation that she created. We looked back at her firmly and unflinchingly to signal that we would not be taken advantage of. In disbelief she turned back to the bartender.

Woman: “Do you know these guys?”

Bartender: “I do. They are stand up guys. If you want I can get security and we can sort this out.”

Woman: “Get the manager.”

At this point my friend an I remained calm at the bar, standing against it relaxed and silent, waiting to see how it all was going to unfold.

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Woman: “These guys ordered drinks for me and they are trying to get out of paying for them.”

Manager: “Well I know these guys, and they are stand up guys, so we’re going to need you to resolve this.”

She looked stunned and shocked, and seemed offended that no one was immediately taking her side.

Woman: “Well I’m not paying for these.”

Manager: “Ok, they we’ll buy them.” He then reached over and took all of the drinks back behind the bar. This infuriated the woman as she turned to my friend and me.

Woman: “You two are the most classless scoundrels I have ever encountered out of any country I have been to.”

Me: “Excellent, I was going for the record.”

My friend waved a bouncer over.

My friend: “Can you please take this away?”

The bouncer came up next to the woman.

Bouncer: “Time to go.”

He then escorted her outside and her friends joined her there.

The 3 Takeaways:

1) Hold Frame

By holding Frame and not relinquishing it, we did not allow this woman to coerce us into paying for her drinks. There have been times in the past when my friend and I would have allowed ourselves to be guilted into paying for drinks like chumps. But by holding Frame we established that we are not some random suckers that will be taken advantage of and we will not part with our hard earn money to pay for someone looking for a free ride.

2) Building venue equity is just as important

From the bartender to the manager to the doorman the message was the same: These are stand up guys (men we respect and value at our establishment) and we know who they are. This claim that she was presenting was out of character for us and as such, the entire venue had our backs. This is a powerful thing, but it’s something you have to earn. We’d been investing and building venue equity in that place for months now and it was awesome to see that good credit in full action.

3) Always approach the night with a fun attitude

I’m sorry (that I’m not sorry) that we ruined this woman’s night, but she certainly wasn’t ruining ours. We went out with the attitude that we’re going to have fun no matter what, and despite this incident, we had a great time and got an entertaining story out of it.

Now go out and have some fun you fellow scoundrels.

Han Solo Shrug.jpg