Appreciation Vs Value

Scales

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” –  Albert Einstein

One of the fundamental differences between the Alpha and Beta men that blue Pill men have a hard time differentiating is that one is appreciated, while the other is valued. For the Blue Pill man, appreciation = value, when this is not the case.

Appreciation

Appreciation is a nice thing to have on the surface, because it means people have noticed your efforts and are expressing recognition of it. The problem with appreciation is that the ball pretty stops at acknowledgement, but it seldom leads to action. This is why Blue Pill men are susceptible to the false sense of validation from appreciation, because they see that their investment and actions have been recognized so they feel that corresponding action is just around the corner.

What they fail to see is that appreciation is essentially a few nice words and a pat on the back, and that’s it. Hence why they tend to be orbiters of women that appreciate them for who they are but won’t have sex with them. They falsely assume that because these women appreciate them being different from other guys that eventually these women will come to act on that appreciation. But appreciation is an expression of gratitude, not an action of gratitude.

During my Blue Pill days I easily fell into that trap, as I had many female friends I was interested in dating. Doing the typical Blue Pill things I often received the “compliments” of “You’re a great guy, someone will be lucky to have you” or “I appreciate you as a person, don’t ever change.” In the beginning it was easy to keep on the same path because if people saw how different I was, eventually someone would act on it, right? But eventually the wool was pulled from my eyes as I noticed that what what people said the appreciated didn’t give me any success, and when I did a few things to break that mold, my success rate started improve dramatically. I suddenly realized that “appreciation” was a passive sentiment, not an actionable one.

Value

When a man is valued, he is a person worth going the extra mile and competing for. People will go out of their way to ensure that a man who is valued is happy, content and appeased. A man of value will enjoy the fullest of what people really have to offer, not just their gratitude. People will also make sacrifices for the sake of value as well. Value is an actionable state and you will want to take people at their actions and never their words.

I vividly remember when I had to breakup with my last ex girlfriend. She was a great person and actually was an excellent girlfriend, however, there where two major issues. First, what we wanted out of life was very different at the time, mainly she wanted to have kids very soon and I didn’t. Secondly, I am mildly allergic to dogs and she owned 3 of them, so there was always a bit of a hurdle. I knew calling it off was the right thing to do for the both of us, though it wasn’t an easy decision to make. During our conversation while I outlined those reasons, and I distinctly remember my ex offering to give up her pets for adoption. Now take a moment to think on that. She was willing to sacrifice her pets, which as many of you know how much women love their pets, which she’d also owned for years before even dating me in order to continue to our relationship. That’s an example of being valued. If she didn’t value you, she would have told me “see you later” and shown me the door. But she was willing to do whatever it took to keep me, and that’s a lesson I will not forget anytime soon.

That’s what makes the Red Pill a very empowering tool, is that one gets a much better sense of the how people actually operate. It helps you see appreciation for what it is, a carrot on the stick to keep you moving in one direction instead allowing you to see the entire carrot patch behind you.

To sum it all up

Be a person of value. If you find yourself being “appreciated,” then you’ve got some more work to do. This applies not only to your dating life but your professional life as well. How many employees are “appreciated” and then kick to the curb once their usefulness in done. A truly valued employee is someone that companies will try to poach and compete for and they will make large accommodations to keep them in the organization and happy. Entrepreneurship is the true way to go if you want to get ahead, but that’s another topic entirely and the point remains that if you presently have a job, you should test the waters to see if your company appreciates or values you. You should also do the same in all of your relationships, be them romantic, family or friends. Actions speak louder than words it’s always good to know who appreciates you will just stand back with a smile vs who values you and will take action on it. Know the difference.

Cheers.

Female Friends

Cheers To You

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“I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy.” –  Will Arnett

I just wanted to take a moment and express my thanks and gratefulness for everyone who’s downloaded my e-book. I hope you have found some value that’s helped improve your life. If you haven’t picked it up yet, check it out for less than the price of a beer or fancy cup of coffee.

Cheers.

Book Cover 1 Fianl

 

Dirty Laundry

Dirty Laundry

“The secret of the creative life is how to feel at ease with your own embarrassment. We’re all in the dirty laundry business and we’re being paid to take risks and look silly. Race car drivers get paid to risk their lives in a more concrete way; we get paid to risk our lives in an emotional way.” – Paul Schrader

One of the most challenging things to deal with in life, especially in the dating game is with your past. Specifically things that embarrass you or may not put you in the best light. We all have these skeletons, be it a picture taken while drunk and passed out or that time you got caught having sex with the neighbor’s daughter in her car. So how do you deal with your personal dirty laundry?

3. Prevention is the best cure. First things first, is making wise decisions. If you find yourself at a party with people acting crazy and committing arson, then it might not be the wisest idea to be on video in your friend’s snap story yelling “burn it!” at the top of your lungs. A side effect of the internet age is that once things are out there, the are out there. So be smart with how you conduct yourself. I’m not saying don’t go out and have a good time, but just be conscious of the day and age we’re in. One thing you do could wind up all over the web.

2. Own it. What’s past has past, you can’t take it back. So the only thing you can do is own it and move on. When you attempt to bury it, lie about it, or run away from it, somehow it always manages to catch up with you. I’m not saying you should highlight it or lead off with it, but if it does come up, the way to handle it is to take ownership of it.

Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you. – Tyrion Lannister

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Building on the second point of owning your past, you have to own it but that doesn’t mean that you have owe every a long, heartfelt sob story on how you where young and dumb.  You can be honest about your past in the sense of “yes that happened,” and you can leave it at that. Frankly most people don’t care and also trying to explain the past gives them ammo to be used against you in the future. I have plenty of things from my past that I have to own, like being very Blue Pill, being in debt and being homeless. Your past refines you, not defines you. So use it as fuel to drive your life in a positive direction. So should you find yourself confronted by the dirty laundry of your past, take ownership of it and let it be known that while you’re not proud of it, it is a par of your story and you’ve grown as a person and moved on from it.

Cheers.

Ass

Up Your Dating Game Today: The 1st eBook Is Here

Book Cover 1 Fianl

I just released my first eBook, which you can download for price of a nice cup of coffee:

Meet. Date. Sex. Repeat: The 4-Step Guide to Mastering Dating Conversion in 1 Week 

Everything you need to know about maximizing your conversion rate is here in this quick blueprint that you can use again and again. This guide will give you the framework to convert meeting a girl into a date, convert a date in a sex, and how to convert sex into repeat encounters.

Inside you’ll learn:

The mindset you need to maximize dating conversion
How to convert an initial meeting into a date
How to convert a date into sex
How to repeat you conversion success
Much, much more…

Check it out and improve your dating game today.

Buy Now

Cheers.

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Protecting Your Ass(ets): A Lesson In Rock-Solid Frame From John Cena

John Cena

“I have certain things that I stand for, certain things that I believe in, and if you don’t like it and you tell me to go to hell, I think that’s your God-given right as a fan. It’s one of those deals where I’m that one guy who is outside of that realm of good guy, bad guy. I’m just me, and it elicits a response both positive and negative.” – John Cena

As a man in this world, building an empire is hard and burdensome work, but highly rewarding. And while building an empire is hard enough, protecting it can be 3 times as hard. For this post, I wanted to showcase and breakdown a real world example of it being done right, by pro wrestler John Cena.

You can read the full story here, but the headline sums things up nicely:

“John Cena made Nikki Bella sign a 75-page contract before she moved in with him.”

1. Rock Solid Frame. There’s Frame, and then there is Rock-Solid-Frame. In an era were most guys have to ask permission from their significant others to leave the toilet seat up, Cena has shown that his Frame is as rock-solid as it gets. Here’s a clear example of a man who knows his value, has a woman he loves, yet still know’s how exert his Frame and he isn’t afraid lose her due to holding that Frame. She had to sign a document stating she was a “guest” in his house and should they break up, she would have to vacate. That is impenetrable Frame. That is the key factor in Frame execution that separates the boys who lose it all from the men who know how to protect their empires.

2. Your Mission Come First. Cena knows first hand how hard he worked to get where is is and just how quickly it can all be taken away:

“Cena eventually convinced his then-girlfriend to sign the contract, explaining that the agreement was done to protect his finances so he can support his family members.

“You met my family. You think my mom paid for that house herself? She didn’t. My brother lives in that house, they’re expecting a child. My younger brother, he’s got medical problems. I make sure he’s okay. I always tell them, I’m a horrible brother, but I try to be the best provider that I can,” Cena said in 2016. “I just don’t want to ever be in a position where that’s in jeopardy.””

Cena has mission to provide for his family and he knows how high those stakes are. Nothing comes before that and nothing will get in the way of that. This is a prime example of Heartiste Commandment III: “You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority.” Write this down, tattoo it in your brain and see your life improve to levels never before seen. As Cena has done here, he’s not letting a woman jeopardize his ability to take care of his family because he keeps his mission as priority number 1. Did he love her? Yes he did. But he also loves his family and being able to take care of his family’s needs. And he knows good and well that if he’s losing everything he’s worked for in a messy divorce, he will lose his ability to keep providing for his family. Know how high the stakes are and let nothing stand in the way of your mission. This takes serious discipline to achieve and Cena has shown that he’s got it.

3. Game Recognize Game. As I’ve tweeted, I’m not one for celebrity gossip but in this instance I have to give credit where credit is due. What he did takes a lot of balls and I highly respect him for it. John Cena is a G. That is all.

Cheers.

John Cena Bird

5 Reasons to Have Female Friends

Female Friends

“I think there’s something to the old saying that women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex. And love is really just a word we use to describe a close bond, or relationship, between two people. Men have been programmed to want sex, so they do whatever is necessary to be in a relationship with a woman. And a woman is programmed to want the stability and (financial) security of a relationship, so she offers the man what he wants: sex.” ― Oliver Markus, Why Men And Women Can’t Be Friends

The topic of female friends is always an interesting debate within the Red Pill community. Some say never have them, others say it’s ok to have one or two. Personally, I find this topic to be pretty interesting and I have my own thoughts on the subject. As a Red Pill man I think it’s essential to have a core group of Red Pill (or close to it) male friends. As for female friends,  I think it’s not only possible but it’s important to have them as well. Below are my top 5 reasons why:

5. They provide first-hand validation of Red Pill truths. Once you become Red-Pill aware, you can’t unsee the truths it holds. This will be extremely evident in all of your relationships, especially those with pre-existing female friends. But, what this does allow is for you to go “go behind enemy lines” so to speak, in that you get a first hand view into confirming these truths for yourself. Suddenly, things you used to take at face value you can suddenly see the mechanisms behind the words or action, especially when your female friends discuss dating.  It’s always good to get a live reminder of how women operate so that way you can see just how Blue Pill men get used by women, but also frustrate women at the same time. You also get to see confirmations of how Alpha and Red Pill men are perceived and treated and these first hand observations confirm things in ways far more meaningfully than a forum post. So to sum it up, having female friends is a great way to get field confirmation of Red Pill truths so you can better understand them, learn about them, and then apply them for your own means.

4. They can be great bait. Female friends, especially attractive ones, are excellent bait, in the sense that they are perfect for arousing the curiosity of other females. Once you learn mastery over not being phased by a woman’s beauty and you adopt the abundance mentality, then being friends with attractive women is very easy. And an unintended perk of that is if you invite these female friends out to a fun venue, say a bar, club, event or even just the park; all other females in the vicinity will be instantly curious. I’ve been approached by many women when I am out with a female friend or several, and the first thing they want to know if “what’s your situation?” Having attractive female friends creates a rudimentary form of social proof. And when it comes to nightlife it makes the relationship very symbiotic, in that your female friends get to enjoy your presence and check out cool places, and you get to have instant social proof you can leverage to pickup other girls. Now remember your Red Pill principals, on having strong Frame will allow you to fully maximize this. If you’re that guy that’s with a bunch of female friends but you have no Frame and project a Beta vibe, then you’re going to be perceived as a girlfriend yourself. So the 2 big things to remember are keep your Frame strong and the more attractive your friends are, the better it the situation will be for you.

3. They can keep your plates in check. Another perk that female friends can provide, especially very attractive ones, is that they can keep your plates in check. We’ve all been in that situation where a plate gets a little too comfortable and starts trying up the shit test ante. Having solid Frame keeps that in check, but also doing a hangout with a plate and an attractive female friend works effectively in creating that sense of light dread. It’s a very live reminder of “I’m a man who keeps the company of attractive women, so I don’t need you as my sole source company.” Girls are very competitive, so playing that nature against itself works very effectively in your favor. And if you’re still a little Blue Pill and think that this is somehow morally manipulative, you need to understand that women are naturally far better players than men and are playing their own game. So you either need to be superior at your own game or find yourself trapped within the confines of her game.

2. They can be friends with benefits. If you have your Frame in check and are a high value man, then you’d be amazed at what situations you can create for yourself. Friends with benefits is always a great situation to have, and in order to have that situation, you need to first be friends. If you stick to your Red Pill principals and work an developing yourself and your Frame, then you’ll be able to foster these situations much more frequently at your discretion. The more experience you have the women, the better you’ll be with them, to them and for them.

1. It’s just good networking. One of my favorite quotes is “Life is a contact sport. The more people you contact, the better you’ll do. Having female friends is good networking, as with any friend it can lead to other romantic pursuits with other friends they have, experiences at at events, or even career opportunities. The key is to ensure that if you’re going to have a friendship, with anyone, they are a person of good character that adds value to your life, just like you will add value to theirs. Everything I listed above only works if you are a man of value who provides some type of value. If you’re just looking to be a leech or a taker without giving anything in return, then you need to do some seriously self evaluation and turn that ship around.

All in all having female friends can provide many perks and also helps give a balanced perspective on life. Remember, the purpose of the Red Pill isn’t to hate women or be anti women, it’s to help men better understand them so we can be the “men who other women want to fuck, and other men want to be.” If you hate women, then you’ve completely missed the point.

Thinking Man

An “Honest” Try

Trying too hard

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

For this post, I wanted to tackle an insidious phrase I hear over and over again, which at it’s core is one of the strongest Blue Pill shackles that keeps men chained to terrible situations. This phrase has all the right words and seems to express what men should be doing. But in reality, this phrase is a warped mix of self-deception that preys on a man’s sense of honor and doing the right thing. That phrase is:

“I’m giving it an honest try.”

The phrase of “I’m giving it an honest try,” or any variation of it (“We’re giving it an honest shot”, etc.) is such a sneaky phrase because on the surface it sounds like the right thing. It’s saying that a man is wanting to give a relationship a go with his full attention, desire and will power. It’s supposedly saying this man is a mature adult and is taking responsibility for himself and for his relationship. After all, men are the ones who constantly are in need of “growing up” right? What is so wrong with admitting to trying your best and giving a relationship your all?

To begin with, this phrase it built entirely on Blue Pill honor-bound logic that places the man’s internal value far below that of his partner in the relationship. “I’ve giving it an honest try” is always uttered as a justification that society and men tell themselves for sticking with a partner that they are not in a good situation with. This phrase never appears when a situation is solid, operating withing a good, healthy Frame. No one in those situations is “giving it an honest try.” That phrase always appears when there’s constant fighting, situational turmoil, and drama. Then mostly men will utter this phrase as if it’s justification of all the strife and magically makes all of the bad acceptable. It’s a phrase used as an end-all-be-all statement that supposed to be taken at face value and left be.

The next part of this phrase that’s very insidious is that no one bothers to ask the question of what does an “honest” try actually mean? As I mentioned before, this phrase is only used to attempt to overwrite a bad and dysfunctional situation. So are all the healthy situations “dishonest?” The true answer is that the “honest” part is a self-deception for the Blue Pill man. It’s a lie he tells himself over and over hoping that it’ll become true someday. “If only saying it, would make it so” (I couldn’t help but to toss a Star Wars quote in there).  The reality is that this idea of an “honest” try is completely female-centric Blue Pill conditioning that says “your duty as a man is to put up with this girl’s bullshit no matter what the cost to you is. It doesn’t matter how raw the deal is for you, you owe her an “honest” effort in the situation.” So keep on trying and sacrificing for the sake of being an “honest” man. You can see why it’s just a commonly used phrase for the Blue Pill man.

For men, this phrase is essentially the guy saying “I’m telling myself a dishonest lie. I’m abdicating my Frame to appease this girl in the vain hope that she’ll appreciate the sacrifice and find a way to respect me.” And as those who are familiar with the Red Pill know, once you give up on your Frame you will be eaten alive. Women don’t want you to cave to their temperamental storms, they want you to weather them and remain true to yourself and unshaken. If you can’t keep yourself protected from her temperament, how will you be able to protect her from the world? How will you be able to handle yourself when the tough situations in life come for you both? Women are constantly testing men because if she’s going to invest in a partner, she’s going to make damn sure her partner can handle himself and his business, regardless of what gets tossed his way. So if you’re losing your shit over a girl’s behavior, that shows to her that she can pierce your armor and therefor the world can pierce your armor as well. How can you possibly be a worthy shield if she can break you so easily?

If you find yourself saying this phrase, then I have news for you: It’s time to NEXT this girl and move on. Saying this phrase is an omission of relinquishing Frame and any chance of legitimacy has been lost. It’s far better to cut things off and move on before your soul gets ravaged and drained. Women are supposed to make your dick hard, not your life. If it’s the latter, you need to reevaluate your situation and see why your Frame isn’t in check. Then you need to be truly honest with yourself and proceed from there. The only “honest try” you need to be giving is to your mission in life and your own self improvement.

Ex