The Butterfly Effect

Sexy Wet

“Small shifts in your thinking, and small changes in your energy, can lead to massive alterations of your end result.” ― Kevin Michel

We are the end results of the choices we have made in life, and more often than not, those choices our influenced by our way of thinking.

Years ago, when I was making my initial transition from Blue Pill to Red Pill, my roommate at the time had a female friend of his from the east coast coming to visit LA and hang. I was down for some adventure, so all met up at a local Japanese bar to take full advantage of happy hour. My roommate’s friend, who we’ll call Lauren, was a cute, bubbly Jewish girl with very good boobs and a high energy level. Me and her hit it off pretty much instantly, and we all put the word “happy” in happy hour.

After the Japanese bar we went back to our house to continue hanging. We put on a movie and Lauren and I got cozy on the coach, and the once the movie was over my roommate stated that he was tired and was headed to bed. I took Lauren in my room to hang, and then we proceeded to hook up.

We were laying in bed and she asked me “When did you know you wanted to hook up with me?” I replied with “I pretty much knew after a few minutes…When was the moment you knew?” She responded with something seemingly arbitrary, but it would have a profound impact on my thinking and Game:

“Pretty much right away. I mean you where this tall, hot guy that was a lot of fun from the start.”

Now, as much as I enjoy the compliment, the phrase “hot guy” caused a drastic shift in my mindset. As mentioned before, I was at the beginning stages of my Red Pill journey, but that phrase “hot guy” ran in my head. I’ve had some minor success with women before hand, but never had I ever thought of myself as a “hot guy.” To me, a “hot guy” was always some other guy, some shirtless and shredded Chad like Brad Pitt in fight club. But for this girl, I was that “hot guy” which led to us hooking up. From then on, that mental shift would have a butterfly effect of me realizing my value as well as farthing my trek into Red Pill conversion. I’m grateful that a positive moment helped me transition further into the Red Pill rather than a traumatic one. I’ve now incorporated the mindset of “I’m a hot guy” in my Game and it’s yielded big results, as it’s help to solidify my confidence which led to many successful interactions with women in the future.

I share this story as an anecdote for you, in that perhaps there is a limiting belief you have or you never tried thinking of yourself in a certain way. A small mental shift, like “why would she go out with me?” to “why wouldn’t she want to go out with me?” can have a large impact on your success rate as well as the choices you make. If you were like me and never thought of yourself as “a hot guy,” imagine yourself that way and see types of results it can produce. Small changes, be it changes in your thinking, your style, or physique can have a cascading butterfly effect in your Game. Now is the time to experiment with small tweaks and see what results they produce, and then build upon positive results. If you’re a well seasoned vet, then you already know the power of small change and you’re continuously implementing them to keep your Game at it’s peak.

Go out there and conquer your goals. Cheers.

Woman rain

Dirty Laundry

Dirty Laundry

“The secret of the creative life is how to feel at ease with your own embarrassment. We’re all in the dirty laundry business and we’re being paid to take risks and look silly. Race car drivers get paid to risk their lives in a more concrete way; we get paid to risk our lives in an emotional way.” – Paul Schrader

One of the most challenging things to deal with in life, especially in the dating game is with your past. Specifically things that embarrass you or may not put you in the best light. We all have these skeletons, be it a picture taken while drunk and passed out or that time you got caught having sex with the neighbor’s daughter in her car. So how do you deal with your personal dirty laundry?

3. Prevention is the best cure. First things first, is making wise decisions. If you find yourself at a party with people acting crazy and committing arson, then it might not be the wisest idea to be on video in your friend’s snap story yelling “burn it!” at the top of your lungs. A side effect of the internet age is that once things are out there, the are out there. So be smart with how you conduct yourself. I’m not saying don’t go out and have a good time, but just be conscious of the day and age we’re in. One thing you do could wind up all over the web.

2. Own it. What’s past has past, you can’t take it back. So the only thing you can do is own it and move on. When you attempt to bury it, lie about it, or run away from it, somehow it always manages to catch up with you. I’m not saying you should highlight it or lead off with it, but if it does come up, the way to handle it is to take ownership of it.

Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you. – Tyrion Lannister

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Building on the second point of owning your past, you have to own it but that doesn’t mean that you have owe every a long, heartfelt sob story on how you where young and dumb.  You can be honest about your past in the sense of “yes that happened,” and you can leave it at that. Frankly most people don’t care and also trying to explain the past gives them ammo to be used against you in the future. I have plenty of things from my past that I have to own, like being very Blue Pill, being in debt and being homeless. Your past refines you, not defines you. So use it as fuel to drive your life in a positive direction. So should you find yourself confronted by the dirty laundry of your past, take ownership of it and let it be known that while you’re not proud of it, it is a par of your story and you’ve grown as a person and moved on from it.

Cheers.

Ass

The Time Of Kings

Spartan King

“A King needs a Kingdom to to King, not a Queen. Remember that.” – Unknown

As western society becomes more and more feminized, there is a unintended advantage born from this paradigm. Now has never been a easier time to establish yourself from the heard of boys as a man, and not just any man; a king.

“A King needs a Kingdom to to King, not a Queen. Remember that.”

This quote rings so true I’m posting it twice. This is a core Red Pill idea that most men will not embrace but will run from because of the burden it represents: We are responsible for our own  lives and what we get out of them. A woman does not define you and you need no other external validation to define yourself either. You are a king, the time is now to master your kingdom.

But what is my kingdom and how do I master it, you ask? Take a look:

Your Body Is Your Kingdom – Master it, exercise it, sculpt and shape it. Excercise and stay healthy. Many a man was stunted his potential by allowing his body to be soft and his health to be poor.

Your Mind Is Your Kingdom – Take care what you put into it and who you allow to have influence in it. Put positive things that will inspire and help you grow into it, and only allow people who add positive value to have influence on it. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose them wisely.

Your Relationships Are Your Kingdom – You are the one in the driver’s seat of your relationships, so manage and led them wisely. If a relationship is a negative or counter productive to you, it s your job to remove it. Failure to do so can cost you time, sanity, and much, much more. All relationships, from family to business to romantic relationships are under the domain of your kingdom, especially the romantic ones. Take the lead and remember, you are the king, the queen does not define your kingdom or the status of your kingship.

Your Time Is Your Kingdom – Manage it relentlessly and guard it jealous. Of all the commodities in this world, it it the one thing you can never get back. Make it count.

Your Life Is Your Kingdom – You only have one go at it and only you can live your life. So live your life on your own terms. Life the life you want and dream about. Live your life as if your life depends on it. It does.

There’s your pep-talk for the day. Go out and conquer your kingdom.

Battle Charge

The Game Grind

Lifting

“Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work. I live by that. You grind hard so you can play hard. At the end of the day, you put all the work in, and eventually it’ll pay off. It could be in a year, it could be in 30 years. Eventually, your hard work will pay off.” – Kevin Hart

One of the often glossed over parts of Game is the Game Grind, which is the process of refining and developing one’s Game. It’s very easy to see folks like Rollo, Goldmund or Christian McQueen and forget that they all had journey’s they started long before any of us ever heard of them. Many will talk about how amazing and easy Game is for them now, but they’ll gloss over all the hard parts of getting to that present point. I myself know this very well.

My background story is pretty funny looking back on it now, but during the time before and just starting to come to awareness it’s pretty wild to see myself now compared to how I was back then. I used to be a Blue Pill as they came, for some of the usual reasons and for some other reasons as well. I’ll detail more about this on a post later, but my father was pretty Blue Pill and we had a lot of tensions and headbutting as my parents went through a divorce when I was a teenager. Determined “not to be just like him” I pushed myself deep into the Blue Pill side of spectrum. I never went White night, but I got pretty close to that point.

I always had a bit of a Red Pill side that would come out in “flashes,” which to my Blue Pill self was too much a reminder of some traits of my Dad I wasn’t fond of at the time, so suppression was my natural way of coping with it. My experiences with women where so Blue Pill dipped I could write a book on it. Writing poems (oh yes, that happened), being the shoulder to cry on, placing the needs of women and telling myself that “I’m a relationship guy” led to a string of disastrous experiences that proved to be extremely fruitless and wasted effort. I had a few successes sprinkled in there, but each time was during a “flash” of my cocky bastard (Red Pill) side.

After some time I began to notice this discrepancy between what I was saying and thinking vs what actually worked when it came to women. Noticing this, I began experimenting more and more with what was working, and them came across rather simultaneously Rollo Tomassi and Christian McQueen’s blogs. From there is was game over as I fully dove into the Red Pill and rapidly absorbed as much as I could. Over the next 4 years, I’m at the point that I am at today which is light years ahead of where I was.

That’s a high-level view of my story, but the bigger point I want to make is that every man has to start somewhere in his journey and if you’re just starting our or decades in, you still have to grind and refine your game. Starting out getting a phone number was a huge deal and maybe getting a kiss was the highlight of my month. Fast forward after many years of trial, error, learning and refinement, I can get a one night stand or same day bang while doubling the contacts in my phone book. I’m not trying to brag or stoke my ego by saying how great I am. What I’m getting at is that where I am today is the result of many years of grinding and learning after being frustrated with where I was. And like many of you, it’s going back on memory lane is funny now, despite the fact that it was a nightmare to experience back then.

One of the biggest things that gave me the shock to the system I needed was losing my virginity to my “dream girl.” I was raised pretty religiously so it I was 26 when I lost my virginity, though I had done everything up to that point but stick it in. I’d gotten blowjobs, finger-banged girls and played with boobs before then, so I had some experience, but I always stopped myself before going too far. But when I was 26 I finally hooked up with this girl that I had met when i was 25 and I had thought she was so special and unique, all of which where complete pedestal-level views of who she really was, which I saw a little bit too but overlooked because I saw the potential of the situation. Fast forward a year later when she’s out my house and basically just giving it away, when I was having sex with her I experienced one of the most empty experiences I’ve ever had, and the kicker is part of me knew that’s how it would be going in. I may detail the experience in a later post, because it’s a story almost too crazy to believe (I’ll just say it was really spiritual in a good and bad way).

After that experience it was another year before I had sex again, but the second time was a much different scenario and mental place, and I give this experience the credit for my desire to learn that sent me on my Red Pill Quest. I was at a club to celebrate a birthday of a friend of mine that I had known for a few years. She and I had a mutual friend so we’d hung out a quite a few times over the years but I always just thought of her as a friend, even though she was a pretty cute, tall blonde that had some of the same interests as me. Anyways, it was her birthday and she was wearing a sexy lack dress and so we went out on the dance floor. While dancing with her I had a thought of “I bet I could make out with her right now” that popped into my head, and so I went with it and we started making out. We eventually wound up back at her friend’s place since she lived on the other side of town but he lived in West Hollywood, which was close to the club, since she already made arrangements to crash at his place.

Her friend (a guy), her and me get back to his place and he has a small 1 bed room apartment. after 5 minutes of conversation, this guy pulls one of the greatest moves in bro-code history and says “We’ll I’m tried so I’m going to pass out.” He then “passes out” on his couch in the living room. I take the birthday girl into his bedroom, shut the door, toss her on the bed, and proceed to have some great birthday sex until the following morning. That expedience was made possible by following my budding Red Pill instinct as well as a little Bang-It-Forward help from her friend, but that’s where the journey started for me.

If you think it was all flowers, roses, and quick bangs you’d be terribly mistaken. The following years were filled with missed opportunities, bad Blue Pill habits that sabotaged me and flat out hardcore rejections from many girls. But I persisted on and now I’m at a point where my Red Pill knowledge and Game are in harmony. But am I resting on my laurels? Hell no. Why? Because there’s always something to learn and there’s always room to improve. Even today I get rejected, learn a new technique and find new experiences I hadn’t had before (Like going on a date to place that turned out to be a swingers club). The grind continues but I find joy in it because it makes me better and as helped me to help others. Yes, there are some nights where I am on fire and can do no wrong. And then there are nights where I am off and literally cannot buy a phone number. No matter how good you get you will never be 100% all the time. But by keeping the grind going, you can improve your consistency to get it as high as you can and you can see how far you have come along in your journey when you look back. I’ll always be grateful to the Rep Pill for giving me the tool set and vision to understand the nature of relationships, which has given me the freedom to navigate them in a way that I determine. And I’m also grateful for my Blue Pill experiences, because they’ve kept me humbled as I progress along my Red Pill path.

So whether you are just starting out or are well season-veteran, always remember that there is a grind involved in the processes. It’s not always fun, pretty or happy, but it’s the work that it takes to maximize your potential. and always remember that everyone who you see at the top of their game never started out that way, they had to go through a grind to get there.

Wake up. Grind. Rest. Repeat.