An “Honest” Try

Trying too hard

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

For this post, I wanted to tackle an insidious phrase I hear over and over again, which at it’s core is one of the strongest Blue Pill shackles that keeps men chained to terrible situations. This phrase has all the right words and seems to express what men should be doing. But in reality, this phrase is a warped mix of self-deception that preys on a man’s sense of honor and doing the right thing. That phrase is:

“I’m giving it an honest try.”

The phrase of “I’m giving it an honest try,” or any variation of it (“We’re giving it an honest shot”, etc.) is such a sneaky phrase because on the surface it sounds like the right thing. It’s saying that a man is wanting to give a relationship a go with his full attention, desire and will power. It’s supposedly saying this man is a mature adult and is taking responsibility for himself and for his relationship. After all, men are the ones who constantly are in need of “growing up” right? What is so wrong with admitting to trying your best and giving a relationship your all?

To begin with, this phrase it built entirely on Blue Pill honor-bound logic that places the man’s internal value far below that of his partner in the relationship. “I’ve giving it an honest try” is always uttered as a justification that society and men tell themselves for sticking with a partner that they are not in a good situation with. This phrase never appears when a situation is solid, operating withing a good, healthy Frame. No one in those situations is “giving it an honest try.” That phrase always appears when there’s constant fighting, situational turmoil, and drama. Then mostly men will utter this phrase as if it’s justification of all the strife and magically makes all of the bad acceptable. It’s a phrase used as an end-all-be-all statement that supposed to be taken at face value and left be.

The next part of this phrase that’s very insidious is that no one bothers to ask the question of what does an “honest” try actually mean? As I mentioned before, this phrase is only used to attempt to overwrite a bad and dysfunctional situation. So are all the healthy situations “dishonest?” The true answer is that the “honest” part is a self-deception for the Blue Pill man. It’s a lie he tells himself over and over hoping that it’ll become true someday. “If only saying it, would make it so” (I couldn’t help but to toss a Star Wars quote in there).  The reality is that this idea of an “honest” try is completely female-centric Blue Pill conditioning that says “your duty as a man is to put up with this girl’s bullshit no matter what the cost to you is. It doesn’t matter how raw the deal is for you, you owe her an “honest” effort in the situation.” So keep on trying and sacrificing for the sake of being an “honest” man. You can see why it’s just a commonly used phrase for the Blue Pill man.

For men, this phrase is essentially the guy saying “I’m telling myself a dishonest lie. I’m abdicating my Frame to appease this girl in the vain hope that she’ll appreciate the sacrifice and find a way to respect me.” And as those who are familiar with the Red Pill know, once you give up on your Frame you will be eaten alive. Women don’t want you to cave to their temperamental storms, they want you to weather them and remain true to yourself and unshaken. If you can’t keep yourself protected from her temperament, how will you be able to protect her from the world? How will you be able to handle yourself when the tough situations in life come for you both? Women are constantly testing men because if she’s going to invest in a partner, she’s going to make damn sure her partner can handle himself and his business, regardless of what gets tossed his way. So if you’re losing your shit over a girl’s behavior, that shows to her that she can pierce your armor and therefor the world can pierce your armor as well. How can you possibly be a worthy shield if she can break you so easily?

If you find yourself saying this phrase, then I have news for you: It’s time to NEXT this girl and move on. Saying this phrase is an omission of relinquishing Frame and any chance of legitimacy has been lost. It’s far better to cut things off and move on before your soul gets ravaged and drained. Women are supposed to make your dick hard, not your life. If it’s the latter, you need to reevaluate your situation and see why your Frame isn’t in check. Then you need to be truly honest with yourself and proceed from there. The only “honest try” you need to be giving is to your mission in life and your own self improvement.

Ex

 

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Survival of the Fittest

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“You realize that we’re the only species that protects the weak?” – Bill Burr

For this post I’m addressing a topic that on the subject of something I find critically important: Personal Accountability. It seems as we become more an more progressive, we stay away from a core principal of life, which is survival of the fittest to “subduing the fit to ensure the weak survive.” This post is more of a pep talk, so please use it for a reminder or motivation go out and live your life to the fullest. Here’s my take on some universal truths and some motivational lines from pop culture to help relate them:

1. Life is not fair. Plan and simple, yet this truth is something we as a society continuously refuse to except and instead attempt to bring the successful down.  Everyone is dealt different cards in life and it’s all matter of how you play them. I know people with every advantage going for them and can’t seem to stay afloat, and I know people from nothing that have built sand achieved greatness. And I’ve seen people with every advantage and they use them brilliantly to expand themselves. Life isn’t fair…and it’s not fair for to everyone, which actually makes it fair.

As our society becomes more feminized, we’ve shifted our focus to protecting the feeling of everyone. Unfortunately a harsh truth is life does not care about your feeling and neither do results. Sports is one of the few places where this truth is allowed to shine, in that there is a winner and a loser, a champion and then everyone else. The idea that we all get trophies for participation sets a false expectation, because in life you may try your best and still fail or come up short. That is how life works. It’s better to fail and use the pain of it for motivation to succeed in the future than try to hide or downplay the simple truth that sometimes our best isn’t good enough. Another great line said by Sean Connery in the Rock (which he was a boss in that role)  sums up this sentiment perfectly:

“You’re best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

Take this to heart: Losers whine and winner get it done. Some days you will lose, and that’s ok, because the greatest teacher is failure. It’s not that you’ve failed but it’s the fact that you wallow in the failure that makes it a horrible thing. But if you fail, learn, pick yourself up and continue to push you will be successful and you will have an appreciation for those wins.

2. You are responsible for your situation. In your life, you have to accept that the 1 factor that that you have absolute control over is you. You can get caught up in headlines, what the latest new from Washington is or a million other things happening in the world. But the fact is, at the end of the day you need to decide what you have to do for you and you have to dedicate yourself to that. It doesn’t matter if you where born into a million dollars are born with 2 cents to your family name.

We presently live in the best time in human history. The world has never been safer, had more access to resources available to people and any thing you could want to know are a few keystrokes and clicks away. The only thing that gets in the way of your success is you. Own it, and watch yourself do wondrous things.

3. No one has it easy. Celebrities, billionaire or other highly successful people don’t have things easy. Everyone in this life has their hardships and issues they have to deal with. Just because you can’t see their struggle does not somehow make your own struggles somehow special. To quote the musician Guru of Gang Starr, “Actions have reactions don’t be quick to judge, you may not know the hardships people don’t speak of.”

Now this is not to downplay the validity of your own struggles, but that doesn’t give you the right to disregard what others are going through. Some people are so poor they have no idea when they will eat again, other people are so rich they are isolated and can’t trust anyone as they have “friends” and family that are continuously trying to take from them. We all have struggles, so it’s best to focus on overcoming them and leave the jealousy of other peoples perceived easiness of life in the wind as it’s not a productive use of your energy or time.

4. “Do or do not, there is no try.” Ironic how words from a movie character (Yoda) can contain some powerful life wisdom. You either find a way to get it done or you find an excuse why you can’t. Plain and simple. If you have a goal, you need to make that your mission in life to get it done, come hell or high water. Now, you can adjust how your approach achieving that goal as go along the way, but at the end of the day it all becomes binary: Did you achieve it, or did you not achieve it?

Only you can answer that question and it’s up to you to hold yourself accountable for that. The best way to stay motivated is to never have a Plan B. Once you have a Plan B you’re subconsciously telling yourself that accepting failure to achieve that goal is an option. A personal mantra I use comes from a brilliant line delivered by John Trivolta in The Taking of Pelgham 123:

“Plan B is enforcing Plan A.”

That line is brilliant because it says he’s dead focused on a singular purpose and all of his being is working to execute it…even his “backup plan” is pushing through to execute and realize the vision of his main objective.

That’s my pep talk for today. I don’t know who you are or your story in life, but it is my sincerest hope that you live the life of your dreams and that you achieve your goals. I believe that we all can achieve greatness together and we won’t succeed by living solely to cut others down. I’ll leave you with another quote from the brilliant Felix Dennis (if you don’t know who he is you should google him), which reflects a core belief I hold:

“A swelling tide raises all boats, including yours.”

Go be the champion of your life.

In this 14 June 1998 file photo, Michael Jordan (L

The Enemy

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“Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.” – Sun Tzu, The Art of War

For this post I wanted to further delve into a theme that’s been fairly recurring in my recent conversations. I’m not a fan of quoting myself, but for the sake of getting into this topic my hand is forced:

As a man, it’s paramount that you understand that women aren’t the enemy, but their natures will eat you alive and spit you out if you do not understand them.

So with that in mind, here we go.

Women Are Not The Enemy

Many men get caught in the mindset that women are their enemy, for various reasons. Plenty of AFC’s and Blue Pill men become frustrated and bitter over time after many rejections, divorce or general non-success they experience. A lot of men new to the Red Pill or transitioning to it get sucked into the mindset as well, and it’s pretty easy to see why. When the truth is shown and women’s mating and provisioning strategies are exposed, it can come as a cold, hard slap in the face that make man men view women with contempt, suspicion and anger. Extremes are always a red flag, and finding yourself with an extreme view on women should cause you to pause and give yourself some examination.

Now, this is not to say that there are not bad, malicious women out there. There are plenty of damaged or just plain crazy women in this world and yes, they these women are best avoided and are in a sense an enemy to your sanity and future. But to blanket this view to all women is not healthy, it’s narrow minded and it hurts you as it limits your experiences. Women can be amazing, dynamic and incredible experiences and can help give one insight into themselves as well as the world around them. But as mentioned in many places before, women should be a compliment to your life, never the sole focus of it. Learn how to weed the malicious one’s out, attract the complimentary ones and you’ll discover that women can be an incredible icing on the cake that is your life.

The Nature of Women

As others have outlined before, the nature of women is straightforward when you break it down. Women are pragmatic in their approach to love and relationships and as such they care more about the stats a man possesses. Your status, how good looking you are and how you conduct yourself are all huge factors. Women are attracted to man for what he is not who he is. Women don’t really care who Leonardo DiCaprio is, if he’s a nice guy, does he love kittens, or what his favorite pizza toppings are. They are attracted with what he is; a handsome, successful man that is A-List (high status) and famous (has large social proof).

This is not a “right or wrong” rant, it’s a mere statement of facts. So if you’re looking at this and saying “it’s wrong that they don’t value a man for who he is on the inside” then you’re missing the point. This is how the mechanisms for attraction with women work. It is what it is. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this either, because given the history of women they’ve literally had their survival tied to the man they pair with, so if they are going to invest their future with someone, they are going to ensure it’s the best deal they can get. On the flip side, men are hard-wired for visuals. If you see a 400 pound woman you instinctively are not going to look at her folds of fat and think “well she’s loves dogs and reads stories to orphans” and find yourself attracted to her. That’s not how attraction for guys work, hence the huge push these days for the “Big is Beautiful” movement. It’s an attempt by women to dictate to men what we should be attracted to. Well guess what, if you’re upset and ranting about why women should value you based on who you are on the inside, you’re doing the exact same thing but from the other side of the coin. “It’s what on the inside that counts” is the male equivalent of of the “Big is Beautiful” movement. Women can’t dictate to men what attraction for us is, and men can’t dictate to women what attraction for them is either.

Learn how that attraction works and then you can “hack” your own attractiveness so to speak. Is it going to be a magic bullet that has a 100% success rate? No. Nobody is at 100%, not even DiCaprio. But you can greatly improve your success rate, and improvement is always a goal worth striving for. If you want to attract more women, know what they are attracted to. As a hunter, you need to use the proper bait to attract prey. You won’t use carrots to attract a lion, so don’t think that just being a good person on the inside is going to cut it when it comes to attracting women. By all means, continue to be that good person on the inside, but you can add to your stat sheet as well to make you even more attractive. Think outside in vs inside out. If you were a pair of heels your stats like wealth, looks, and swagger are the exterior design of the shoe which draws women in. You being a good person is the bonus of the heels being comfortable and having a nice interior, but it’s not the most critically important factor. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, ask any girl about a pair of heels and why they like and wear them, especially when most of the time they are uncomfortable and painful.

The Real Enemy

Ignorance is the real enemy, and as they say “ignorance of the law is no excuse.” Arm yourself with knowledge, don’t be mad or throw a fit at how things are, see the game and know how to play it. You don’t blame a lion for eating a gazelle or call it evil. It’s a lion being a lion and doing what lions do: Hunt and eat gazelles. The same applies to women and how they approach relationships. They approach it from a pragmatic viewpoint and see things through the lens of what you are, not who you are. Love women, but have open eyes about their nature. If you want more success, develop yourself into a person of higher value, plain and simple. Maximize your potential, grow your status, your value and exercise to develop your body as well. When it all comes down to it, your personal success is tied to your biggest asset and your worst enemy: You.

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